Paddy's day so far

[KrazyHorse]

Chronological order:

Best friend shows up: hey i'm moving tomorroe need to finiosh these two botteles of scotch (one is cask strength, mother****er)

punhc mhyself in face as hard ASA I can

get llicked in te face by random male stranger at bar

order burgers at another bar

friend wals out of bar, i ea t my burger asnd most of his

two girls from next table walk up to me ask me why face has giant mark on it (note: i am wearing t-shirt whichm say " figth me i'm irish")

same two girls buy me drins

same two girls ask me if my fwife would midnd if theyc (one leasns close to ear) suck my dick and elt me *** on them whul they make lut

i say definitley yes

settl e bar atb, come back home playh wii tennics wait for wife to come home

feeel fprous of myself for being a good person

[snoopy369]

Good people
KH

My Paddy's day:
* Go to work
* Go have a Shamrock Shake just for fun
* Go back to work

[Zkribbler]

Interesting spelling of words. Here, how many fingers am I holding up??

Man, you are DRUNK!!

[duke o' york]

Er, yesh. Ecshellent worksh.

[KrazyHorse]

wife now home. ;kssied at me for punching myself in face. noy6t too pisseed. she says tyht paddy's day is one day i'm allowed to misbehavr.

[SlowwHand]

Well, if you'd known that...

[Kuciwalker]

feeel fprous of myself for being a good person

There's a bit of Jewish philosophy that kinda makes this self-defeating.

[Dinner]

I'm finishing off a 6 pack of Guinness and will be going with some friends for corned beef & cabbage along with beer and whiskey at the local Irish pub.

[Cort Haus]

Tried to avoid drinking G**nness all day (because I hate the plastic Paddy shÃt) but made a mistake at lunchtime and ordered one, not realising that it's the one day a year that I deliberately avoid it.

I went and watched my team win its FA Cup quarter-final and celebrated by drinking lots of lager.

[SlowwHand]

Guinness draft might be ok. I haven't had it. In bottles, I thought it sucked.

[Theben]

Stateside, Guinness draft is the only option.

[KrazyHorse]

Sober now. Wife wanted to find slutty chubby *****es at bar who tried to hook up with me. They were gone by the time she got to bar.

Paddy's day:

[David Floyd]

My Saint Paddy's Day so far:

-Worked until 4pm
-Met coworkers for beers at Applebees
-Got drunk
-Hit on 18 year old hostess
-Got phone call to meet 42 year old hottie cougar I've been seeing
-Meet cougar with two of her mid 20s friends
-Made funny jokes while getting drunker
-Cougar gives me a ride home, because I'm ****housed
-Cougar explains to me that she started dating someone else
-I explain to cougar that she can date whoever she want, I didn't think we were exclusive
-I convince cougar to blow me outside of my house before she leaves. I come in her mouth.
-Posting on Poly.

[Theben]

At 1st I hoped it was Cougar that used to post here. Upon further reading I'm glad it wasn't.

[Koyaanisqatsi]

Apparently I'm insufficiently Irish, regardless of genetics. I tried a Guinness draught for the first time, and hated it.