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Obama Outfitted With 238 Motion Capture Sensors For 3-D Record Of Presidency

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  • Obama Outfitted With 238 Motion Capture Sensors For 3-D Record Of Presidency

    WASHINGTON—In what is being hailed as a breakthrough in the field of historical record-keeping, the National Archives announced Monday that it would immediately begin outfitting Barack Obama's chest, limbs, and face with an array of motion capture sensors for use in preserving a 3-D account of his time as president.

    The height, width, and depth of the 44th presidency is digitally recorded for future generations of Americans to enjoy.

    "The presidency of Mr. Obama is truly a landmark event, and I can think of no better way to honor it than with this $2.5 billion advanced digital-imaging project," acting archivist Adrienne Thomas told reporters. "Not only will our sensors provide unprecedented moment-to-moment documentation of a sitting U.S. president, but they will also give the American people the breathtaking realism and seamless layer animation they have come to expect."




    According to sources at the National Archives, Obama will spend the next four years in a custom-made, lycra-and-neoprene bodysuit, featuring 238 reflective "marker balls," which will instantly relay trillions of bytes of information to a central computer in Centennial, CO.

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  • #2
    And then someone will make digital Obama porn.
    Graffiti in a public toilet
    Do not require skill or wit
    Among the **** we all are poets
    Among the poets we are ****.

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