Female sex drive

[Kidlicious]

Only because she never hit on you...

It's not funny. It a serious problem that I'm dealing with right now. There is a 21 yr old hottie that lives next to me that keeps ****ing with me.

[Solomwi]

How old is he? Maybe he is much older.

Could be. Once a month as a goal, though, is a pretty low bar, generally speaking.

[Lorizael]

No. You need to show why they are wrong. That's what I asked you.

But it's your claim that experts are unreliable. Jesus Christ. ****, fine.

5. Women take a less direct route to sexual satisfaction.
Men and women travel slightly different paths to arrive at sexual desire. "I hear women say in my office that desire originates much more between the ears than between the legs," says Esther Perel, a New York City psychotherapist and author of Mating in Captivity. "For women there is a need for a plot -- hence the romance novel. It is more about the anticipation, how you get there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire," Perel says.

This paragraph, like most arguments you make on poly, fails to distinguish between the general and the specific. Perel does not state whether this is a trait found in all women, most women, a statistically significant portion of women, or just the memorable ones she happens to have treated in her little sphere of the world. Additionally, she fails to contrast women's "route to sexual satisfaction" with men's. How does it differ? Is it ever the same? Let's see some numbers.

Women's desire "is more contextual, more subjective, more layered on a lattice of emotion," Perel adds.

wtf?

Men, by contrast, don't need to have nearly as much imagination, Perel says, since sex is simpler and more straightforward for them.

My god, sex is not straightforward for men. Sex for men in influenced by self-esteem, social standing, religion, power, sexual drive, and a host of other issues.

That does not mean that men do not seek intimacy, love, and connection in a relationship, just as women do. They just view the role of sex differently. "Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex," Perel explains.

Simply bull****. Look at any of the "sexually liberated" women out there that have sex just for the fun of it or prostitutes who have not been forced into the profession.

"For men, sex is the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side," Perel says. "It is their language of intimacy."

I don't think any of the men here would agree with this.

[Kidlicious]

But it's your claim that experts are unreliable. Jesus Christ. ****, fine.

5. Women take a less direct route to sexual satisfaction.
Men and women travel slightly different paths to arrive at sexual desire. "I hear women say in my office that desire originates much more between the ears than between the legs," says Esther Perel, a New York City psychotherapist and author of Mating in Captivity. "For women there is a need for a plot -- hence the romance novel. It is more about the anticipation, how you get there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire," Perel says.

This paragraph, like most arguments you make on poly, fails to distinguish between the general and the specific.

I always deal in generalities when discussing topics such as psychology. I don't know why you always get caught up in specifics. If you want to talk about how you specifically vary with another individual be my guest. Just don't confuse it with a discussion about the general case.

Perel does not state whether this is a trait found in all women, most women, a statistically significant portion of women, or just the memorable ones she happens to have treated in her little sphere of the world.

Who said it's just her own little world. This is the accepted wisdom. That's why it was reviewed and passed by an MD. Also there are other sources on the internet. But if you don't think it's accepted wisdom then why don't you find another expert who believes differently.

Additionally, she fails to contrast women's "route to sexual satisfaction" with men's. How does it differ? Is it ever the same? Let's see some numbers.

She makes it very clear that men have a direct route to sexual satisfaction. That is, men always have sex on the mind. It's motivating their actions.

Women's desire "is more contextual, more subjective, more layered on a lattice of emotion," Perel adds.

wtf?

That sentence is pretty clear.

Men, by contrast, don't need to have nearly as much imagination, Perel says, since sex is simpler and more straightforward for them.

My god, sex is not straightforward for men. Sex for men in influenced by self-esteem, social standing, religion, power, sexual drive, and a host of other issues.

So a man with low self-esteem doesn't have as much sex drive?

That does not mean that men do not seek intimacy, love, and connection in a relationship, just as women do. They just view the role of sex differently. "Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex," Perel explains.

Simply bull****. Look at any of the "sexually liberated" women out there that have sex just for the fun of it or prostitutes who have not been forced into the profession.

Those have not been observed in significant numbers by the professional community. You may think there are lots of these women, but there's not.

"For men, sex is the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side," Perel says. "It is their language of intimacy."

I don't think any of the men here would agree with this.

Its true.

[b etor]

Oh, something that struck enough of my boyfriends as strange that I feel it might be a female-only thing.

When I'm having sex, oftentimes I'll have a minor orgasm. If this happens, I plateau for a while and it's actually harder to have a full orgasm. Personally, I like the minor orgasm enough that if it stops there, I won't feel shortchanged.

The full orgasm seems to come more easily when there's been a lot of foreplay. Sometimes I've had one or even two before my boyfriend has any. : prouds :

Oh! I think I have minor orgasms too. Now that you've said that it makes sense. I just thought I couldn't when I was with someone else because it wasn't as good as by myself. Thanks!

[Alinestra Covelia]

No worries, sista! Glad to help you out with your orgasms anyway I can.

[MikeH]

Ooh er.

You want to be careful making offers like that! How old is Agent b etor?

[Alinestra Covelia]

:l

What? I was just saying that I'm happy to give any advice and suggestions she may need.

I don't get it.

Edit: Oh, you thought... You thought I was...

*indignant* If I have to give you a dollar every time, to get your mind out of the gutter...

[Lorizael]

I always deal in generalities when discussing topics such as psychology. I don't know why you always get caught up in specifics. If you want to talk about how you specifically vary with another individual be my guest. Just don't confuse it with a discussion about the general case.

I don't care how I specifically vary. But when you make broad, sweeping generalizations, you need lots and lots of evidence to show that they're true.

Who said it's just her own little world.

It's her own little world because as a psychotherapist who is not omnipresent, she only has experience with certain sections of the population. She lives in New York City and likely most of the clients she gets are from there. This will inform her biases.

But if you don't think it's accepted wisdom then why don't you find another expert who believes differently.

Because I'm ****ing lazy and it won't change your mind anyway. I'm not trying to make you believe what I believe; I just want you to understand that these issues are not so clear cut as you believe.

That is, men always have sex on the mind.

Bull****.

That sentence is pretty clear.

Then please, explain it to me. I'm an idiot.

So a man with low self-esteem doesn't have as much sex drive?

Not what I said at all. I said self-esteem is an influence in a man's sex life, along with other variables.

Those have not been observed in significant numbers by the professional community. You may think there are lots of these women, but there's not.

The fact that they exist at all means you cannot make blanket statements about women.

Its true.

Because you said so?

[Kidlicious]

Because I'm ****ing lazy

It shows

[Docfeelgood]

HEY! HEY! chill. Relax, get laid.
Get rid of that stress.

[b etor]

Ooh er.

You want to be careful making offers like that! How old is Agent b etor?

I have 41 days left of being a kid.

[Docfeelgood]

Just because they look good don't mean they know how to fvck!

[self biased]

Just because they look good don't mean they know how to fvck!

if ain't that the truth. i dated one girl for a few weeks shortly after returning from texas that was a nine and a half in appearance, but a two in the sack. luckily, she was also really into BDSM and submissive, and i derived no end of entertainment from being generally abusive to her and humiliating her in front of her friends. it was too much like work though, and quit it.