Russian jokes using Google Translate

[Riesstiu IV]

Morning, police officer stands on the road. Suddenly saw - going posh Mercedes and driving a young girl. He f-r-r-r in the whistle, the girl stopped. Approach:
The girl, a girl, and where you have such an expensive machine?!
It cover, get mobile, dial:
- Hello, Nurik, I spraschivayut where I have such an expensive car ...
Voice of the tube:
- Say that gave ...
The girl happily:
- And I gave her! And went further.
The second morning, again the same police officer, traveling the same girl at the luxury behe. The same conversation, she calls again and the voice of the tube says that she said. This police officer takes the phone and srashivaet:
- Nurik where money?
The response of the tube:
- To Nurik, and Nursultan Nazarbayev, who!

[Asher]

It's funnier in its native English.

[Riesstiu IV]

Based on two dogs in Mangalia, one another:
-Oh, that it becomes zharkovato
-Oh, save, speaking sausage.

Sit at the kitchen son-in-law and mother-in-law. Son-in-law, another beaten senseless dispute ponders aloud: "Oh, well would you send into space, I would otdohnul a little bit."
- Zyatek, what in space is? They are there poletayut mesyachishko and returned back.
- So, it is the case, mother-in-law, but another year of preparation, and then a year of rehabilitation ...

[Riesstiu IV]

One man asks another:
- Wan, you say recently married, are you making?
- Yes here, tired of stolovkam eat ...
- And now?
- And now, like it!

Is the girl on the beach, sunbathing. Suitable guy:
- Girl, you can trahnut?
- What audacity!
- Hу not - so no, I will ...
- Het, denying there could be no question but what audacity!