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The Mediocre Movies Thread

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  • The Mediocre Movies Thread

    What mediocre movies have you seen lately? You know, not classics, not blockbuster hits, not serious Oscar contenders. Just regular, average-at-best movies that nobody would ever dream of touting.

    I have recently watched The Perfect Score and Transformers. I recognize these movies as perhaps the very definition of Hollywood mediocrity, but I was still entertained. It's certainly not for the same reasons as good movies; the climaxes are rarely emotionally moving, the storytelling is sometimes incoherent, and the characters are always flat.

    But these movies make it up to you in other ways. There are little, humorous scenes that don't really add anything except a good laugh. There are beautiful women. (If you can't find a good actress, and your script isn't really very impressive anyway, why not just go for a really good-looking one?) There are moments where enjoy the movie's sheer absurdity. Sometimes, it throws your suspension of disbelief down a plothole, buries it alive, and writes stilted dialogue for its epitaph.

    Really, most movies are telling somewhat similar stories to one another. There are the good versus evil stories, the "various different people get to know each other better through a shared experience" stories, the love stories, etc. We've all seen all of them a million times. Maybe it's actually more fun to see a mediocre telling of one of those stories sometimes.

    So here's to you, mediocre movies. Cheers, all.
    "You're the biggest user of hindsight that I've ever known. Your favorite team, in any sport, is the one that just won. If you were a woman, you'd likely be a slut." - Slowwhand, to Imran

    Eschewing silly games since December 4, 2005

  • #2
    Rush Hour
    Dark Knight
    Hot Fuzz (well, this was pretty good, will take me a while to decide whether is was really good though)

    JM
    Jon Miller-
    I AM.CANADIAN
    GENERATION 35: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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    • #3
      Not nearly mediocre enough.
      "You're the biggest user of hindsight that I've ever known. Your favorite team, in any sport, is the one that just won. If you were a woman, you'd likely be a slut." - Slowwhand, to Imran

      Eschewing silly games since December 4, 2005

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      • #4
        I finally watched Little Miss Sunshine on cable the other day. Definitely mediocre compared to the hype, but worthwhile.
        Unbelievable!

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        • #5
          The Golden Compass. I did not read the book upon which it was "based" so to me it was simply a meh movie. Had I been a fan of the book, perhaps I'd have hated it.

          -Arrian
          grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!

          The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.

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          • #6
            I've seen The Golden Compass, and I don't think it could even aspire to mediocrity. Man, that was a terrible flick. Now, I did read the books, and I was hardly a fan of those, but even they didn't deserve such addle-brained treatment.

            Now, I just watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I'd say that's in the bottom margin of the mediocre category: fun action scenes, terribly predictable, chock full of dreadful ethnic stereotypes and bad dialogue.
            1011 1100
            Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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            • #7
              Heh. Doom, for me, doesn't make to mediocrity. It's flat-out bad. But that may be b/c it's an Indy flick and falls so far short of Raiders or Last Crusade. On its own... maybe. I dunno. The female lead is awful, and "shorty" is ****ing annoying.

              -Arrian
              grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!

              The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.

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              • #8
                Now, I just watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I'd say that's in the bottom margin of the mediocre category: fun action scenes, terribly predictable, chock full of dreadful ethnic stereotypes and bad dialogue.
                I thought it was the point of the whole series, an hommage to B movies. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was awful, though. Even Temple of Doom was much better.
                Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy – Lessing

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Nostromo View Post
                  I thought it was the point of the whole series, an hommage to B movies. The last one was awful, though. Even Temple of Doom was much better.
                  Haven't seen the last one, though I read on ISMP that it involves Indy protecting himself from a nuclear blast by hiding in a lead-lined refrigerator. I have no desire to see it, except possibly to see if Cate Blanchett really manages to make a baggy grey jumpsuit sexy.

                  I give Indiana Jones enormous leeway because the entire point of the series is to be cinematic junk-food. Everyone says ToD is the terrible one of the trilogy, but the action scenes aren't bad and that's all that really matters for one of those movies. The ethnic stereotypes are an unnecessary distraction from the extremely loud punches and whip-cracks, though, and make me wince. And, as Arrian noted, the two sidekicks are quite annoying. So I call it bottom-level mediocre.
                  1011 1100
                  Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                  • #10
                    I just watched Traitor and Eagle Eye on a plane. Traitor wasn't too bad - I'd probably classify it as mediocre. Eagle Eye was crap. Shia LaBeouf is carving out quite the ****ty (though I'm sure lucrative) career for himself.
                    "The French caused the war [Persian Gulf war, 1991]" - Ned
                    "you people who bash Bush have no appreciation for one of the great presidents in our history." - Ned
                    "I wish I had gay sex in the boy scouts" - Dissident

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                    • #11
                      speaking of Shia -- saw part of Disturbia the other day. Now that is a thoroughly mediocre move.
                      The undeserving maintain power by promoting hysteria.

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                      • #12
                        National Treasure: Book of Secrets.
                        Many unintentionally funny scenes.
                        And indeed there will be time To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?". t s eliot

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