Republican Knives come out for Palin...lots of dirt

[Elok]

So, the invasion's begun?

[Darius871]

He is a turncoat.

[Asher]

It began years ago. We've infiltrated the highest levels of government. George W. Bush was a Canadian plant to weaken your country and divide your people.

[Victor Galis]

Originally posted by Elok
So, the invasion's begun?

He knows too much already...

[Q Classic]

A Canadian invasion.

Do, please, come down and take the US over. I have a feeling you'll realize that anything south of the Mason-Dixon line is just not worth the effort.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Mrs Snuggles
A Canadian invasion.

Do, please, come down and take the US over. I have a feeling you'll realize that anything south of the Mason-Dixon line is just not worth the effort.

We're not taking that part, we're donating that to our allies, the Republic of Texas. They'll control the south, we'll get the north.

[chequita guevara]

Damnit! I don't want to have to move North to live in a sane country. Can you at least take the southern tip of Florida, everything from the I-4 corridor down?

[Q Classic]

Originally posted by Asher

We're not taking that part, we're donating that to our allies, the Republic of Texas. They'll control the south, we'll get the north.

Wow, I have a feeling that your allies will feel a bit stiffed.

After all, they're getting the ****ty part of the country.

[Victor Galis]

Originally posted by Mrs Snuggles

Wow, I have a feeling that your allies will feel a bit stiffed.

After all, they're getting the ****ty part of the country.

Nonesense, they get the "real" America.

[KrazyHorse]

Originally posted by Darius871
He is a turncoat.

I'm being kept in reserve in case we have to 1812 DC again.

[-Jrabbit]

This looks like the place to drop a little email I got from a California buddy of mine a couple weeks ago...

Dear Red States..

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research; you get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty; you get Dollywood. We get Intel, Apple and Microsoft; you get WorldCom. We get Harvard; you get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. And since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children'scaskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, and all living redwoods, sequoias and condors. We will have all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. We also get Hollywood, and graciously leave you New Orleans.

You Red States, on the other hand, will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, most of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, and virtually 100 percent of all televangelists. Not to mention Rush Limbaugh and Bob Jones University.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale. A full 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, and 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory. Also, 53 percent of you that Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico. We wish you luck.


Peace out,
Blue States

I have no idea if the statistics quoted in this are accurate. But I found it amusing...

[Q Classic]

Originally posted by Victor Galis


Nonesense, they get the "real" America.

Well, as Jon Stewart pointed out, the reason we can't find Obama is because he got so mad after he found out he sent those planes into Fake America.

[Imran Siddiqui]

I have no idea if the statistics quoted in this are accurate. But I found it amusing...

Amusing, but cherry picking too. I mean, why mention Duke or Emory or Wake Forest or Vanderbilt when you can say Ole Miss, right?

Or why not mention the two biggest companies in the world (Wal-Mart and ExxonMobil) when you can say WorldCom?

[KrazyHorse]

I mean, why mention Duke or Emory or Wake Forest or Vanderbilt

Indeed. Why ever mention them?

[Q Classic]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui

I have no idea if the statistics quoted in this are accurate. But I found it amusing...

Amusing, but cherry picking too. I mean, why mention Duke or Emory or Wake Forest or Vanderbilt when you can say Ole Miss, right?

UChicago was, as usual, slighted.

Or why not mention the two biggest companies in the world (Wal-Mart and ExxonMobil) when you can say WorldCom?

Yeah, but we'd rather cling to our Googles, Intels, Microsofts, Boeings, and Threadlesses instead.