Child Abandonment

[Japher]

So, the kids in the neighborhood had an "in service day", whatever that is, but it means that they got to stay home from school and do whatever kids do when they do nothing.

Anyway

One of the mom's down the street called my neighbor and left a message on her answering machine asking if she could watch her son, since she had to work. My neighbor didn't get the message until late and assumed that she must have gotten someone else to watch him because it would be to late to do otherwise. Well, at 8am, the little boy shows up at my neighbors house unescorted... His mom had gone to work.

Frustrated my neighbor watched the kid, since she has a daughter the same age (7). They decided to go to the park for a picnic so they packed up, got in the car, and as they were leaving the development they see his mom driving in. So, they turn around and follow her home. Turns out mom decided to take a half day, but neglected to let anyone know... Not to mention the stolen babysitter.

My neighbor leaves the boy with his mom and goes and has the picnic with her daughter. They come home and a couple hours later the boy turns up on their door step again! Where's your mom? Shopping. So, mom left him to go shopping and told him to go to my neighbor's house.

Is this legal? I don't think so, and I think Child Protection Services needs to hear this.

[Theben]

Why couldn't the kid go shopping with his mom? CPS needs to know, but hopefully they don't go overboard.

[Kidlicious]

Probably your neighbor just needs to have a serious talk with this lady.

[Japher]

She's going to. It seems this lady does this sort of thing on a regular basis though.

[Kidlicious]

Well **** I would have called then.

[Japher]

Me too.

[Deity Dude]

Child Protective Services?!?!? Give me a break. Maybe the mom assumed a little too much from the neighbor but why get the govt involved.

When I was a kid, I would leave the house in the morning play with my friends all day or go on "adventures" like kids do and come home around dinner. Eat dinner and go out again until dark.

I wasn't abandoned and I thank God nobody decided to call Child Protective Services.

I agree assuming someone will watch your kid without prior consent is wrong. But not every unescorted child that comes over to play, whether mom is shopping or not, is abandoned.

I have 2 kids, one grown and engaged the other a 14 year old male. We have and always had kids coming in and out of our house all the time. I never checked the status of their parents, I just assumed they were over to play or "hang-out" when they became teenagers. If I didn't want them there I told them it was time to leave. I certainly didn't need to involve Child Protective Services.

[Zkribbler]

But the kid here is not a teenagers. He's just seven. And he's being sent off for hours, unsupervised, to a neighbor who may or may not be home.

[Jon Miller]

I stayed home by myself all day at 5. That was maybe a bit young, but I don't see why a 7 yearold can't handle it.

Being sent away from home to someone who may or may not be home probably isn't a good idea though.

JM

[Kidlicious]

My son is 9. He can take care of himself, but I don't leave him at home because some weirdos might fing out that he's there alone.

[Deity Dude]

I'm not talking about teenagers. I brought up my children, who are now teenagers to point out that I went through that period. When my kids were in kindergarten and up they were always at a friend's house or had friends at my house or out playing at the park. The younger they were the closer they stayed to home and it seems like the child you are talking about is a neighbor.

Same for me as a child. When I was that age (assuming no school) I got up in the morning, got on my bike and was gone until dinner. After dinner I was gone again until dark. Either that or everyone was over at my house. I'm not real sure what my mom did during those time periods, but I wouldn't be shocked if she ever went shopping or ran some other errands.

I personally think most parents nowadays are way to hyper about this kind of stuff. I also think this attitude is a reason why there are so many obese children. Unless mommy and daddy can find the exactly appropriate and supervised activity little Johnny stays home safe and sound eating snacks and playing video games.

Don't get me wrong, I agree assuming someone will be your babysitter without asking is wrong, but kids going out unescorted going to different friend's houses though out the day seems kind of normal and healthy to me.

[Japher]

That's not the case here DD. The kid comes over because his mom left him. You left, your mom was home so you left her, not the other way around.

[Swissy]

This is basically a case of the working mom using the stay at home mom for FREE daycare.

And, as far as children going to and from neighborhood homes unescourted. I was fine with that for my children until I went to the Illinois State Attorney's sexual offenders site and found sixteen registered offenders within a half-mile of my home.

[Deity Dude]

Originally posted by Japher
That's not the case here DD. The kid comes over because his mom left him. You left, your mom was home so you left her, not the other way around.

Did you read the part of all of my posts where I said that assuming someone will be your babysitter without asking is wrong?

I am just making the point that if a neighborhood kid shows up at my house I usually don't know that status of their parents. If a neighborhood kid showed up at my house 95 out of 100 times I and my child would be happy, they'd go out and play together and that would be the end of it. IF it was lunch time I would make 2 sandwiches and pour 2 glasses of milk instead of one. If the mother was out shopping while her kid was out playing, I probably wouldn't even know and I certainly wouldn't consider the child abandoned. And if for some reason I thought the mother was unavailable and the child needed guidance (which I do not feel is the situation when kids show up unannounced) I certainly wouldn't call Child Protective Services. I would try and solve a neighbor's problem rather than cause a neighbor a problem.

This is my last post on the issue because I can tell this is an issue where different people feel different ways. One group thinks that the best way to be a parent is to always be with your child, find all sorts of interesting things for them to do under parental supervision and make sure no harm comes to them. Another group feels that independence, childhood and neighborhood comraderie and letting a child learn from life's experiences is the way to go.

For lack of a better analogy, it's the difference between the parent who let's his kid learn how to swim at the lake or the pool as a natural part of growing up and the parent who won't let his kid near water until the parent has bought his kid the proper swimming attire, learned CPR, paid for 15 lessons and has thoroughly discussed every possible safety issue.

[Kidlicious]

I would use good judgement. Are there potential bad people in your neighborhood? There are in mine. A lot of kids are outside playing without what I call proper supervision in my neighborhood. My son can't do that even though he's older than a lot of them. I don't call CPS because I would be doing that constantly with all the bad parenting going on in my neighborhood. But if a kid were in immediate danger I sure would.