OK, America, I'm back...and I've got questions

[DanS]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly
8) You know what else I'm seeing everywhere? Ads touting the super-duper fuel efficiency of cars that get highway mileage in the low 30s. You know, I've driven a car that got highway mileage in the low 30s. You know what it was? My fricking 1985 Buick -- that's right, BUICK -- Skyhawk! So are Americans now amazed and excited that new cars are finally available that get the same mileage as crappy ones did 20 years ago? What, was the country dropped on its collective head while I was gone?

To be fair, it was worse when you left.

[Solomwi]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly


Too late! I came back just in time for my 7-year-old niece's Hannah Montana themed birthday party.

Perhaps, but have you been exposed to the phenomenon enough to realize that the little hellspawn sprang from the loins of Billy Ray Cyrus? That added a heaping (though quite unneeded) dollop of loathability when I found out.

[-Jrabbit]

This is an excellent thread!

Welcome back, Rufus.

[Lancer]

The US car companies are bragging on lousy gas mileage because they think they can convince us stupid suckers that its good gas mileage. They think this because the moronic electric car killing management in Detroit likely convinced themselves of it in a back slapping session.

Comps got cheap though Rufus, gotta look at the upside.

[Jon Miller]

You became an old man?

What next, you are going to start watching Andy Rooney?

JM

[Zkribbler]

Re: OK, America, I'm back...and I've got questions

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly
1) Which came first, obscenely large Americans or the obscenely large portions they're served in restaurants nationwide?

Supersized Americans. Thanx to McDonalds & its ilk.

2) And why are there now fat punks? I was at a punk show (and, yes, I'm a balding, overweight, middle-aged man, but it's not like I was pretending to be otherwise) and was surrounded by porked-out punks. Kids, I lived through the origins of punk: whatever else punks are, they're supposed to be emaciated nihilists who mock "fat hippies." Fat punks? WTF?

See answer to No. 1.

3) The US loses money on every nickle it mints. So why on earth did we spend money redesigning the thing 3 times in 3 years? Were we trying to drive up the demand for nickles or something?

To increase the number of nickels hoarded by collectors. It's stupid I know, but it what more can you expect from the Bush Administration.

4) When I left, my favorite cable channel was Bravo, which was devoted to top-notch cultural programming. Upon my return, I've sought out Bravo again, only to be confronted with endless fashion-themed reality programming and some hideously self-absorbed harpy named Kathy Griffin. There's really an audience for this? Really?

I'm ashamed to admit I'm a fan of Kathy Griffin. No doubt, she's perfected ego-centrism, but she doesn't try to gloss anything over. She's aired shows where her husband left her and when her father died. She did a great show from a women's prison, including her chatting with a woman on Death Row. She won an Emmy you know. Ask her about her acceptance speech.

5) Which of these two books I saw at Borders last week has the more appropriate title: The Complete Idiot's Guide to The Last Days or The Complete Idiot's Guide to Elves and Fairies?

There's a Complete Idiot's book for EVERYTHING nowadays.

6) So I'm in the grocery store cereal aisle, reuniting at long last with my beloved Grape Nuts, when I see a cereal box claiming that it "Increases your child's attention and energy by 20%!" The cereal? Brown Sugar and Maple Syrup Frosted Mini Wheats. That's right: we seem to be touting the health and behavioral benefits of what comedy duo Proctor and Bergman would have called "sugar-coated, sugar-encrusted, sugar-fortified little bits of sugar." How many people will burn in hell for that bit of marketing genius?

Not enuf. When need more of these @holes to burn

7) Why do so few people know how much Rhode Island rocks as a vacation destination?

er...Because it's Rhode Island? If you sneeze, you open your eyes to find yourself in a different state.
[/QUOTE]


Welcome back, Rufus!!

[snoopy369]

ZK, you're old enough to know that 1. is absolutely not the case that you put forth. (As a serious answer) Large portions are almost certainly a result of our farming/industrial heritage, which required large amounts of food to adequately sustain us. While Europeans prided themselves in not working (the upper crust, anyhow), we were eating and working up a storm ... and this has translated into still large portions, but no longer a need for them.

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by snoopy369
ZK, you're old enough to know that 1. is absolutely not the case that you put forth. (As a serious answer) Large portions are almost certainly a result of our farming/industrial heritage, which required large amounts of food to adequately sustain us. While Europeans prided themselves in not working (the upper crust, anyhow), we were eating and working up a storm ... and this has translated into still large portions, but no longer a need for them.

Take a look at a crowd scene of any movie from the 40's, 50's or 60's. They'll be a few fat people, but most a skinny. Take a look around. Almost everyone today is fat.

I was watching Maltese Falcon last weekend. Sidney Greenstreet was repeatedly referred to in the movie a very fat. Today, he'd be about normal.

We've turned into a nation of blubber-bellied pigs.

[Elok]

Isn't Bravo owned by the Pink Mafia?

EDIT: In response to number five, it says right in the Bible that "[we] know neither the day nor the hour," making the Last Days guide pretty much invalidated by its own source. So I'd say that one.

[-Jrabbit]

(As a serious answer) Large portions are almost certainly a result of our farming/industrial heritage, which required large amounts of food to adequately sustain us.

"Our farming/industrial heritage"???? Surely you're not serious, snoop. If so, your ivy-walled UofC background is showing.

Routinely large restaurant portions are a relatively recent phenomenon, and they are pure business school in nature.

People will gladly pay for huge portions -- either overeating or taking some home for a 2nd meal (lunch tomorrow, sort of thing). The customer perception is that they got a good deal, which promotes loyalty and repeat business. Meanwhile, the restaurant gets more (and profitable) income, and servers get increased tips due to the higher check amount. The only downside is, no one has room for dessert anymore.

But hey, no problem -- The restaurants make up for that with their liquid offerings. Whether soft drinks or alcohol, they are generally the most profitable menu items of all.

There was a time when appetizers were small, intended to whet the appetite only while awaiting the main course. Today's "appetizer" portions are big enough to be a decent meal, and priced accordingly (often just a dollar or two less than the main course). Main courses are huge, and filled out with side dishes to a size far in excess of what one eats at home for a "normal" meal.

There is only one reasonable explanation for this change, and it is not "heritage." This is a business model, one that has created vast seas of mediocre but nominally successful chains (Applebees, TGIFridays, Ruby Tuesdays, Cracker Barrel, even the late-but-not-lamented Bennigans, etc) where formerly there were none.

I don't know if this approach started with the "super size it" add-on popularized by the fast food giants, or vice versa. But it matters not. The point is that restaurants figured out that people would gladly pay a premium for huge portions and have cashed in accordingly. It's really just that simple.

[Elok]

I think Chinese restaurants hit on that "business model" ages ago. Why were the others so slow catching up?

[Nugog]

Originally posted by snoopy369


Oh, I get plenty of that at home from the GF (who likes a subset of 'real' punk)...

Well depending on what that subset is - I may agree with her.

Now is your customs procedure still insisting on collecting innocent peoples fingerprints?

[-Jrabbit]

Originally posted by Elok
I think Chinese restaurants hit on that "business model" ages ago. Why were the others so slow catching up?

Good point, Elok. I guess it just took awhile for some MBA to formalize it.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Almost forgot:

9) Why is it that I can buy a prepaid cell phone -- which is basically just a sim card surrounded by $1.29 worth of plastic "technology" -- but I can't simply buy a prepaid sim card and stick it in my own phone (something I could do in the Philippines, a country otherwise so f*cked up that replacing everyone in the government with cats would actually improve the place)? Forget my convenience; from a sheer running-dog capitalist point of view, wouldn't it be better to sell people $10 sim cards and $200 unlocked phones than just $10 phones? Does this policy make ANY sense to ANYONE?

[Colonâ„¢]

Not at all. I've been using pre-paid cards-only for ages.