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Yet your own kids don't? I know the answer, but I find it always true.
Anyway, I have a dilemma (longer than I usually write, sorry);
Josie turns 3 on the 21st. She is just over 3 feet tall, speaks like a 6 year old, and is very friendly (hardly ever has a problem with other kids). She went through a biting phase; she generally would play with older kids and if the rough housing got to rough she'd bite. We got her through it, and she has learned to voice when she is angry rather than lash out. Except for Tammy.
Tammy is her age, but not as "advance" as Josie, no one can really understand what Tammy is saying 'cept for her parents and brother who is 7. Josie seems to bite her still and we didn't know why. Since being off work I have been able to witness their interactions, and here is what I have found:
Josie only bites Tammy when she is frustrated, as with the other kids.
Josie gets frustrated because she can't understand Tammy.
Tammy does not share and will take things from Josie, and this frustrates Josie.
Tammy is good at knowing who is watching her. When her mom isn't looking Tammy will hit or kick if she is mad.
Josie is still learning to share, and will take stuff from Tammy, this makes Tammy mad.
So, when Tammy isn't being monitored by her mom she'll kick or hit Josie.
So, Josie will bite her back.
Tammy's mom is overly concerned about appearance and see's the biting as a direct assault at her and responds accordingly.
I have seen Tammy's mom, on multiple occasion, push Josie down, shove Josie into a wall hitting her head, and grab my daughter's arm in what I deem an overly aggressive manner. Additionally, Tammy's mom tells her if Josie bites than Tammy should fight back. Great advice to a kid getting bullied, but not great advice to a 3 year old.
This, I could deal with. However, it gets worse when you add in the brother Randy.
Randy also has the advice to fight back and to protect his sister.
Last week while the kids were playing they began to rough house, I told them to stop and they agreed and went about other things. A few minutes later I see take a toy from Tammy, Tammy hits Josie, so Josie bites Tammy. Before I can get to Josie to reprimand her (and I will spank on rare occasions, so I'm not soft) Randy pushes Josie to the ground and throws her in a full-nelson. This gets my blood boiling.
Randy is allowed to watch R rated movies (he's 7). He enjoys Predator and Rambo the most.
All, and yes ALL, his toys are weapons or made to be with a person who would use a weapon.
He has called Josie a "Dirty Bastard" and he always makes aggressive moves towards her including; stabbing her, slitting her throat, uppercuts, and suplexes.
I have never seen the kid play with other kids, even those his own age, without him getting angry.
Tammy and Randy's parents NEVER reprimand or punish their children, they are merely threatened.
I can't stop Josie from biting if the response she gets for biting is violence by other kids. Parents should not give their kids the right and ability to punish my kid(s). Other parents should not use force on my child if they will not use it on theirs. I will not allow Josie to hang out with these kids anymore, because of this there has been a rift in the friendship between my wife and their mom.
Is their anyway to make this right? Did I do the right thing?
Anyway, I have a dilemma (longer than I usually write, sorry);
Josie turns 3 on the 21st. She is just over 3 feet tall, speaks like a 6 year old, and is very friendly (hardly ever has a problem with other kids). She went through a biting phase; she generally would play with older kids and if the rough housing got to rough she'd bite. We got her through it, and she has learned to voice when she is angry rather than lash out. Except for Tammy.
Tammy is her age, but not as "advance" as Josie, no one can really understand what Tammy is saying 'cept for her parents and brother who is 7. Josie seems to bite her still and we didn't know why. Since being off work I have been able to witness their interactions, and here is what I have found:
Josie only bites Tammy when she is frustrated, as with the other kids.
Josie gets frustrated because she can't understand Tammy.
Tammy does not share and will take things from Josie, and this frustrates Josie.
Tammy is good at knowing who is watching her. When her mom isn't looking Tammy will hit or kick if she is mad.
Josie is still learning to share, and will take stuff from Tammy, this makes Tammy mad.
So, when Tammy isn't being monitored by her mom she'll kick or hit Josie.
So, Josie will bite her back.
Tammy's mom is overly concerned about appearance and see's the biting as a direct assault at her and responds accordingly.
I have seen Tammy's mom, on multiple occasion, push Josie down, shove Josie into a wall hitting her head, and grab my daughter's arm in what I deem an overly aggressive manner. Additionally, Tammy's mom tells her if Josie bites than Tammy should fight back. Great advice to a kid getting bullied, but not great advice to a 3 year old.
This, I could deal with. However, it gets worse when you add in the brother Randy.
Randy also has the advice to fight back and to protect his sister.
Last week while the kids were playing they began to rough house, I told them to stop and they agreed and went about other things. A few minutes later I see take a toy from Tammy, Tammy hits Josie, so Josie bites Tammy. Before I can get to Josie to reprimand her (and I will spank on rare occasions, so I'm not soft) Randy pushes Josie to the ground and throws her in a full-nelson. This gets my blood boiling.
Randy is allowed to watch R rated movies (he's 7). He enjoys Predator and Rambo the most.
All, and yes ALL, his toys are weapons or made to be with a person who would use a weapon.
He has called Josie a "Dirty Bastard" and he always makes aggressive moves towards her including; stabbing her, slitting her throat, uppercuts, and suplexes.
I have never seen the kid play with other kids, even those his own age, without him getting angry.
Tammy and Randy's parents NEVER reprimand or punish their children, they are merely threatened.
I can't stop Josie from biting if the response she gets for biting is violence by other kids. Parents should not give their kids the right and ability to punish my kid(s). Other parents should not use force on my child if they will not use it on theirs. I will not allow Josie to hang out with these kids anymore, because of this there has been a rift in the friendship between my wife and their mom.
Is their anyway to make this right? Did I do the right thing?
Should that be an improvement ?
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