Learn English at...Apolyton

[Winston]

Sorry, you need to keep at least somewhat track of what happened more than six months ago, if you want to appear at least a halfway cultivated person.

Even in this era. Even when you're Asher.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Winston
Sorry, you need to keep at least somewhat track of what happened more than six months ago, if you want to appear at least a halfway cultivated person.

"Six months ago" --> many decades ago?

I don't care about low-rate, low-budget, unfunny humour from shows decades before I was born -- sorry, it's just not interesting nor relevant.

Maybe if you had any concept of cultural relevance you'd recognize that not everyone is into the same shows, especially when they predate one's birth by decades. That is common sense to most people, but not to Danes.

Edit: Also note the irony that Winston knows nothing about current culture since he proudly proclaims he doesn't own or watch TV, yet he gets on my case for not knowing the details about a Danish comedian from the 1950s.

[Asher]

I'm looking at the guy's most famous quotes -- is this guy supposed to be what passes for as a comedian? Maybe the comedy doesn't translate well to anyone with a clue:

* (Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
* I love this piano... I get about 4 sonatas to a gallon of red wine on it...
* ... Very expensive these pianos... It's not mine! But they come in a six pack!
* I have been looking forward to this evening's performance ever since... 7:30... two weeks ago.
* I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.
* I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
* I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
* Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
* Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
* I only know two pieces, one is 'Clair de Lune', the other one isn't.
* The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
* When you go home, please drive home extremely carefully. Extremely carefully. Because I walk in my sleep!
* It's your language, I'm just trying to use it...
* Giuseppe Verdi. Joe Green to you.
* I'm going to play it with both hands so it will end faster.
* I'm Lou Borg.
* You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
* There will be no dancing during this number... unless you absolutely have to!
* I'm going to play a piece...by a Danish composer. Umm... Mozart. Hans Christian Mozart!
* (Holding someone's red tie) Oh, I thought you were bleeding.
* We have a neighbour, well who doesn't...but he's our next window neighbour, because he does not have a door at that end of the house!
* My grandfather gave me this watch...a few minutes before he died...for 20 bucks...plus tax!
* The soprano... is about four and a half feet tall... Lying down.
* And now, Brahms! Joey Brahms! ...Brahms spelled backwards: "Smharb."
* One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
* Before we start, the Baldwin Piano Company has asked me to say that this is a Steinway Piano [or vice versa].
* (Inspecting the piano) Hmmm… Steinway & Sons. Didn't even know he was married.
* Ignaz Friedman's dead now—I sincerely hope, because they buried him about 28 years ago.
* There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
* It's Fliszt, not F. Liszt. Do you say M. Ozart?
* It is important to always, always fasten your seat belt wherever you play.
* Excuse me Ma'am, are you laying eggs? (Spoken in "Page-Turner")

[Winston]

Whatever the Hell this is you have going on, I'm not going to pursue it any further. Just like I wouldn't try to get a baby to appreciate the joy of a good crossword puzzle and a cup of steaming hot coffee.

Go see the new Batman movie, Asher. Again.

But don't dwell on it too much. It might divert your attention from last season's hockey standings, which would be a terrible thing to befall an altogether splendid guy like yourself.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Winston
Whatever the Hell this is you have going on, I'm not going to pursue it any further. Just like I wouldn't try to get a baby to appreciate the joy of a good crossword puzzle and a cup of steaming hot coffee.

WTF?

I am both kickass at crossword puzzles (online! the internet. it's new, try it.) and I love hot coffee.

Go see the new Batman movie, Asher. Again.

I hate comic books and all comic book derived movies. The only reason I'll see the new Batman movie (when it's on DVD) is to see Heath Ledger's final performance.

Do you even know who Heath Ledger is?

But don't dwell on it too much. It might divert your attention from last season's hockey standings, which would be a terrible thing to befall an altogether splendid guy like yourself.

You're pretty crap at both the debating thing (which you've abandoned here) as well as the insulting/character assassination thing (which you are now trying).

Let's face facts -- you're someone who is completely and utterly and PROUDLY ignorant about current cultural phenomena but you're giving me **** for not knowing the details of a Danish comedian born in 1909. You're ****ing delusional and thick, and your attempted troll involved BATMAN (what the ****) and a dig about hockey standings (like following sports is beneath a cultured person, yet someone who listens to a long-dead comedian talk about fat women making curves in a piano is a cultural savant) is just bizarre.

I am Gordon Ramsay to your Paula Deen. Look at that, more cultural references you're oblivious to.

[Ecthy]

Funny how he thinks it's you who should retire... from an overall entertainment point of view, or any point of view for that matter, it's Winston who should retire.

[Jon Miller]

It is a lot funnier to watch then to read Asher.

JM

[Asher]

Originally posted by Jon Miller
It is a lot funnier to watch then to read Asher.

JM

I will concede that when you watch a Dane talk, it is instantly amusing.

[Zkribbler]

Victor Borge link

[rah]

VB was one of the most well known entertainers of my parents generation. Most of my generation will remember him also due to the likes of K-Tel records that have immortalized him for $9.99

While I don't expect the next generation to know anything about him, I'd like to point out that he was not just a comedian. He had talent. (piano playing) and was able to be funny without being vulgar. But most importantly he was seen to have class about him but never had a problem laughing at himself. A lot of his jokes were based on English word use since the parents of a lot of his audiences were imigrants if they themselves weren't. So I expect that you wouldn't find a lot of his stuff quite as funny. I think some of it was very good and other stuff, I don't have the background to appreciate.

I'm not going to look down at people that don't know him, but just want to mention that he was considered a great showman by a large portion of the population in his time.

[Grandpa Troll]

@ rah...K-Tel records, many,many, memories

Mom and Dad had a lot of those records!

[Grandpa Troll]

I really enjoyed this thread, it reminded me some years back, Asher whom I honestly enjoy reading his posts, while sometimes I think he is serious, most times feel he is just simply entertaining as he snipes away and engages targets cleverly


One thread Asher was in which was very entertaining was about, of all things, Canada and I cant remember who he was engaging, but was funnier than $h!t, maybe Kidicious but maybe was Winston, heck, I wished I could remember, extremely entertaining!!


While some posters come and go, Asher remains a cornerstone, or maybe a corner thorn, of all that makes up Poly

Thanks for the entertainment value Asher, your one of the best!!


I know why I remember the thread, after reading,participating in the Seawolf Fiasco thread that kinda dies toward last week, was what I needed, many lauighs

Gramps

[Zkribbler]

Borge sits down at the piano. He thinks for a moment, twists around and says to the right side of the audience: "Pardon my back."

He turns back to the piano, thinks another moment and then says to the left side of the audience; "Pardon my front."

[BlackCat]

But then again, Asher have probably never heard about Dean Martin either

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Originally posted by Winston
Victor Borge learned the language by going to American movie theaters during WWII. He didn't know a word of English when he arrived in 1940. 15 years later he was the highest paid TV performer in the world.

Big deal. The second highest paid was Lassie.