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The wonder of Craigslist

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  • #1

    The wonder of Craigslist

    I'm only now coming to realize the sheer beauty of this site for comic relief. It's like the OT sprouted a tumor or something, all the insanity and stupidity found on the internet rolled into one humongous ball without any meaningful moderation to weed out the scum. And due to the extremely high traffic, there's always a new nut or doofus blathering about something. Hit refresh or switch to another sublisting for a moment and you'll find a whole new set. Just check out this beaut, for example:

    craigslist | Page Not Found
    http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/rnr/615019877.html


    I would never post there, of course (it'd be like spitting in the ocean), but it's a joy to watch. I believe I could get addicted to Craigslist.

    EDIT: And this 'un...

    craigslist | Page Not Found
    http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/615022361.html
    Last edited by Elok; March 22, 2008, 16:34.
    1011 1100
    Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Those are some good'uns.

    If you want to lose all faith in humanity go to AOL.com and read the comments on their news articles. Any article will do, the responses are all the same, word for word.
    “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
    "Capitalism ho!"

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    • #3


      (cts)
      THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
      AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
      AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
      DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

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      • #4
        Threads not on the first page no longer exist.
        “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
        "Capitalism ho!"

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        • #5
          You know, there might be more, um, productive uses for Craigslist.
          Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
          "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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          • #6
            Originally posted by DaShi
            Those are some good'uns.

            If you want to lose all faith in humanity go to AOL.com and read the comments on their news articles. Any article will do, the responses are all the same, word for word.
            I am automatically redirected to the UK version of the AOL portal, which is very curious since it doesn't seem to cater to the Belgian/continental European audience any more than the US version presumably would. (the news stories are centered on the UK)
            DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

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            • #7
              Chocolate only goes so far.
              Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
              "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
              He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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              • #8
                Re: The wonder of Craigslist

                Originally posted by Elok
                EDIT: And this 'un...

                http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/615022361.html
                "This posting has been flagged for removal
                (The title on the listings page will be removed in just a few minutes.)"

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Re: The wonder of Craigslist

                  Originally posted by b etor


                  "This posting has been flagged for removal
                  (The title on the listings page will be removed in just a few minutes.)"
                  Huh, it still shows up for me. Maybe Firefox cached it. Here it is:

                  Originally posted by some rube on Craigslist
                  It's me! Every girl ever.

                  Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.

                  Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

                  You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that's thing's all about, but I bought it.

                  Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I ****ing love candles!

                  Come on into the living room.

                  Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.

                  Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.

                  And check it out, we're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That's to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all *****es.

                  Let's go back into the hallway!

                  Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don't you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It's like you're sitting in a hug! Be right back...

                  Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go!

                  Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe.

                  Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.

                  Now let's talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!

                  Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.

                  Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder and we'll have to stand up. Come on!

                  See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!

                  Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

                  I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.

                  Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!
                  1011 1100
                  Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                  • #10
                    That was actually funny.

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                    • #11
                      I loved it

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                      • #12
                        It was all funny except the papizan chair remark... that was just uncalled for. Papasan chairs are the best chairs in all existence.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Ecthy
                          That was actually funny.
                          What, you didn't think the New Black Panthers were funny? I thought they were hysterical, though in a different way. I think it's funny when irrelevant factions of society believe the world revolves around them. Kind of like reading about Lilliput in Gulliver's Travels.
                          1011 1100
                          Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                          • #14
                            Didn't read the panthers, never realized they were a parody too. Well, maybe real satire at work there.

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                            • #15
                              Huh, I knew that girl.
                              Long time member @ Apolyton
                              Civilization player since the dawn of time

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