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Boy! It's been one heck of a primary run this year for the Apolyton Evil Capitalist Conservative Party. As you know, last Presidential election ended in disaster when General Zod and Dr. Doom were unable to work out who should be President and Vice President, with the end result of most of Eastern Europe being rendered uninhabitable for the next 10,000 years.
But what a 4 years it has been since then. Anthony Stark seemed a shoo-in for the nomination, but Robot Nixon did surprisingly well on his platform of "**** the poor". With a dead heat in number of delegates, we now turn to each to make their platform to the public.
Anthony Stark
Robot Nixon
Poignant. And now, Delegates at the 2008 AECCP National Convention...cast your votes!
But what a 4 years it has been since then. Anthony Stark seemed a shoo-in for the nomination, but Robot Nixon did surprisingly well on his platform of "**** the poor". With a dead heat in number of delegates, we now turn to each to make their platform to the public.
Anthony Stark
My Fellow Americans, this has been a grim few years. What with the Stamford Disaster, Captain America being assassinated, Alien Invasion led by the Hulk, Ultron taking control of weather satellites that I may or may not have secretly built, and the alien "Venom" symbiotes that recently took over the island of Manhattan.
Some of you may question whether or not the SHRA, the Space-Gitmo I built, and the subsequent conflict has, indeed, made us safer. I assure you it has. Bank robberies by boomerang-wielding lunatics is at it's lowest level since 1989. My initiative to place a superhero team has paid off, with South Dakota getting exactly as much attention as New York City. Super Villein Crime is now nearly non-existent in the Midwest and Great Plains!
If elected President(and I will, what with Stark Industries getting the contract for voting machines in most states) I promise to battle the latest threat: Alien shape-shifters that are impossible to find. Your neighbor could be one.
Thank you and Gawd Bless.
Some of you may question whether or not the SHRA, the Space-Gitmo I built, and the subsequent conflict has, indeed, made us safer. I assure you it has. Bank robberies by boomerang-wielding lunatics is at it's lowest level since 1989. My initiative to place a superhero team has paid off, with South Dakota getting exactly as much attention as New York City. Super Villein Crime is now nearly non-existent in the Midwest and Great Plains!
If elected President(and I will, what with Stark Industries getting the contract for voting machines in most states) I promise to battle the latest threat: Alien shape-shifters that are impossible to find. Your neighbor could be one.
Thank you and Gawd Bless.
Robot Nixon
Well listen here, computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973, but your average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever. The only one who's changed is me! I've become bitter—and let's face it—crazy over the years! And after I'm swept into office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat, and I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place!
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