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These are all real situations I have found myself in (as well as amusing anecdotes) the Question is, what would you do?
1) It's Christmas dinner. The clan is in council, with our aged matriarch holding court. My grandmother is a respected 'grand old lady' type. She goes upstairs, the Fam continues its feast. She comes down--deathly silence. There is toilet paper coming out of the back of her dress and a roll is bounding down the stairs behind her. She is blissfully unaware. There are young kids present who are about to start laughing at any moment.
Whatchu gonna do?
2) The large extended family is at the beach, picnicking. It's a fine sunny day at the lake in summer. The youngest of your aunties has a 'naturalistic' approach to kids, and hers are quite young in the 3-5 age group, and shes letting them run around naked. It's all good, whatever. Everyone comes up to the table and is eating hotdogs and cucumbers. Little ___ however, has discovered the 'joys of the flesh' at the worst possible time. He has a t-shirt and nothing else, sitting in a lawn chair, and is furiously wanking a most impressive erection for a child of his age. His mother is either unaware or being selectively aware. Dad is far away on the beach.
There are little girls there, about 8-9, one of whom is beet red, obviously having seen the offending activity. A deathly silence has just fallen, and needs explaining.
What happens next?
3) You and your three best friends play strategy games every Sunday, whether board or PC. You are about 12-14 years old. One of you notes that in multiplayer games that the winners always line up in the same order, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc, no matter what type of game it is, as long as it involves strategy, planning, and/or tactics. It's nearly invariable. This is the same in our school grades. So being all keenly competitive and naively faithful in crappy online tests, we do a 'serious' IQ test and we all try our best. One of your friends scores high above the rest. The 4th friend scores drastically lower. You are looking at the final score screen. Friend number four is known to be an Emotionally Sensitive Type boy. In the bizarre minds of our age group this test has taken on an apocalyptic significance.
What U do?
Last one;
4) It is high school. A friend you have always respected for his keen mind and quick wit has finally 'achieved the dream' and Got Some, or at least says so. Because you mildly disbelieve him, you and the gang press him for sticky details. As the story comes out, it convinces you that it is true due to the players involved but presents a new problem. This girl, whom your naive friend describes as 'hot', 'sexy', his 'new girlfriend' etc., is famed throughout the more worldly sections of the school as a drugged out skanky slut who looks like a heroine addict crossed with a weird goth-cheerleader thing. Other friends in this group are plainly embarrassed by how innocently proud your naive friend is. It's so bad that, given her famed rumours of venereal disease and abortion, this is one of those few cases that that preservation of virginity may have been better.
How do you prevent your comrade in arms from making an ass of himself in front of Da Boyz, whilst keeping in mind his delicate self-esteem?
1) It's Christmas dinner. The clan is in council, with our aged matriarch holding court. My grandmother is a respected 'grand old lady' type. She goes upstairs, the Fam continues its feast. She comes down--deathly silence. There is toilet paper coming out of the back of her dress and a roll is bounding down the stairs behind her. She is blissfully unaware. There are young kids present who are about to start laughing at any moment.
Whatchu gonna do?
2) The large extended family is at the beach, picnicking. It's a fine sunny day at the lake in summer. The youngest of your aunties has a 'naturalistic' approach to kids, and hers are quite young in the 3-5 age group, and shes letting them run around naked. It's all good, whatever. Everyone comes up to the table and is eating hotdogs and cucumbers. Little ___ however, has discovered the 'joys of the flesh' at the worst possible time. He has a t-shirt and nothing else, sitting in a lawn chair, and is furiously wanking a most impressive erection for a child of his age. His mother is either unaware or being selectively aware. Dad is far away on the beach.
There are little girls there, about 8-9, one of whom is beet red, obviously having seen the offending activity. A deathly silence has just fallen, and needs explaining.
What happens next?
3) You and your three best friends play strategy games every Sunday, whether board or PC. You are about 12-14 years old. One of you notes that in multiplayer games that the winners always line up in the same order, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc, no matter what type of game it is, as long as it involves strategy, planning, and/or tactics. It's nearly invariable. This is the same in our school grades. So being all keenly competitive and naively faithful in crappy online tests, we do a 'serious' IQ test and we all try our best. One of your friends scores high above the rest. The 4th friend scores drastically lower. You are looking at the final score screen. Friend number four is known to be an Emotionally Sensitive Type boy. In the bizarre minds of our age group this test has taken on an apocalyptic significance.
What U do?
Last one;
4) It is high school. A friend you have always respected for his keen mind and quick wit has finally 'achieved the dream' and Got Some, or at least says so. Because you mildly disbelieve him, you and the gang press him for sticky details. As the story comes out, it convinces you that it is true due to the players involved but presents a new problem. This girl, whom your naive friend describes as 'hot', 'sexy', his 'new girlfriend' etc., is famed throughout the more worldly sections of the school as a drugged out skanky slut who looks like a heroine addict crossed with a weird goth-cheerleader thing. Other friends in this group are plainly embarrassed by how innocently proud your naive friend is. It's so bad that, given her famed rumours of venereal disease and abortion, this is one of those few cases that that preservation of virginity may have been better.
How do you prevent your comrade in arms from making an ass of himself in front of Da Boyz, whilst keeping in mind his delicate self-esteem?
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