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If these battles were movies people would try to get their money back

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  • #1

    If these battles were movies people would try to get their money back

    You know, there are these kinds of battles, campaigns and wars that were rather disappointing. As movies they simply wouldn't be worth the money.

    Just take the case of the Spanish Armada attacking England in 1588. Before everyone in Spain was like "Hey, we're the catholic continental superpower, we'll just wipe the floor with you heretic scum, and your queen will burn for supporting piracy all over teh seven seas and killing sexy catholic beast Maria Stuart, yeah!". So the Spaniards set sail towards England with the - supposedly - ohsogreat Armada. On paper it sounded all well, ca. 130 ship full of nice cannons and neat soldiers, most of them armed. This was of course after they had missed that the war was already on when the English attacked Cádiz and destroyed ca. 30 vessels there.

    But the Spaniards didn't really learn from that wake-up call. However, there were some nice battles later with real action, so it could have been an overall good show if it wasn't for that completely messed up final round. Instead of fighting it out like real men, both were scared away by bad weather and blamed storms and whatnot for their own bad performance
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  • #2
    I'm glad teh Gladiator battle was a movie
    THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
    AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
    AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
    DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

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    • #3
      Originally posted by LordShiva
      I'm glad teh Gladiator battle was a movie
      "The risk to the cavalry ........
      "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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      • #4
        is acceptable, agreed?
        THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
        AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
        AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
        DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

        Comment

        • #5
          Originally posted by LordShiva
          is acceptable, agreed?


          One of the best lines in or around a movie battle scene, ever.
          "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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          • #6
            The 2nd Mexican-Amercian war. Whole divisions of US troops, with some tanks no less, chasing a gand of banditos around the desert for a year and not catching them.
            "The DPRK is still in a state of war with the U.S. It's called a black out." - Che explaining why orbital nightime pictures of NK show few lights. Seriously.

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            • #7
              This one would have flopped in a big way -

              The Hunt for Osama Bin Ladin

              The whole issue was clouded by wackos claiming he didn't actually exist and the constant inane dialog does nothing to advance the plot. By the end of the movie, nothing had actually happened.
              There's no game in The Sims. It's not a game. It's like watching a tank of goldfishes and feed them occasionally. - Urban Ranger

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Patroklos
                The 2nd Mexican-Amercian war. Whole divisions of US troops, with some tanks no less, chasing a gand of banditos around the desert for a year and not catching them.
                The SECOND War? What are you, a visitor from the future here to tell us of a future conflict between the US and Mexico??!?

                If so, can you tell me who's going to win the Super Bowl??!?

                (If you're referring to the Pancho Villa expedition in 1916-17, that hardly qualified as a war, and I think the U.S. force topped out at 10,000 troops, if that....more like a single division....)
                "The nation that controls magnesium controls the universe."

                -Matt Groenig

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                • #9
                  Just take the case of the Spanish Armada
                  You're forgetting about the attack by fireships. That would be a cool scene. And also the Spanish ships sinking near Ireland, with half-drowned sailors staggering ashore to be greeted by very willing Irish lasses.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Zkribbler


                    You're forgetting about the attack by fireships. That would be a cool scene. And also the Spanish ships sinking near Ireland, with half-drowned sailors staggering ashore to be greeted by very willing Irish lasses.
                    It's too bad they didn't do something cool like this in that "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" movie.
                    "The nation that controls magnesium controls the universe."

                    -Matt Groenig

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                    • #11
                      (If you're referring to the Pancho Villa expedition in 1916-17, that hardly qualified as a war, and I think the U.S. force topped out at 10,000 troops, if that....more like a single division....)
                      That would be the one, and the fact that was called a war and was, well, not one, would be the point of this thread
                      "The DPRK is still in a state of war with the U.S. It's called a black out." - Che explaining why orbital nightime pictures of NK show few lights. Seriously.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Patroklos


                        That would be the one, and the fact that was called a war and was, well, not one, would be the point of this thread
                        Okay, but I'm not going to give you a refund for my earlier post.
                        "The nation that controls magnesium controls the universe."

                        -Matt Groenig

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                        • #13
                          I recall a story of a Hungarian King who led his troops out in to battle, ran away, promptly fell off his horse and then drowned in the mud because his battle armour was too heavy for him to move in.
                          One day Canada will rule the world, and then we'll all be sorry.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Patroklos
                            The 2nd Mexican-Amercian war. Whole divisions of US troops, with some tanks no less, chasing a gand of banditos around the desert for a year and not catching them.
                            That story would be good, but only if told from the Pancho Villa point of view.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Patroklos
                              That would be the one, and the fact that was called a war and was, well, not one, would be the point of this thread
                              Who called it a war?

                              Pancho Villa Expedition - Wikipedia
                              http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pancho_Villa_Expedition


                              The United States Army Center of Military History officially refers to the campaign as the Mexican Expedition.
                              “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                              - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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