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So, what do we write on this guy's tombstone?

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  • So, what do we write on this guy's tombstone?

    Woman Finds Boyfriend Dead In Cat Door
    32-Year-Old Stuck In Cat Door Dies


    ST. JOHNS COUNTY, Fla. -- Authorities in Florida launched an investigation into what they called one of the strangest accidents they've ever seen.

    Investigators said 32-year-old Charles Tucker Jr. was using the cat door early Saturday morning as a way to get back into his girlfriend's St. Augustine home after she kicked him out.

    Deputies said several hours after Tucker's girlfriend told him to leave she found him stuck in the cat door.

    "Maybe at 3 a.m., my older brother called me and told me -- he was crying -- that she had called him and she found him dead in the door," said Tucker's friend, Will Elliot.

    Elliot lives down the street from the home where Tucker was found dead.

    "He's a big guy. I don't even know how he could fit through there," Elliot said. "Probably to get in and unlock the door. They said he had one arm through there and his head was caught in there like he was to reach up and unlock the door because there's no way he could fit through there."

    Tucker's girlfriend called 911 when she found the 32-year-old stuck, but when officers showed up four minutes later -- he was already dead.

    Officers said it was not the first encounter they had with Tucker that weekend. They said on Friday they found him slumped over the wheel of his car; He was taken to Flagler Hospital, and later released.

    The cause of Tucker's death has not been released. Officers were awaiting autopsy results before releasing that information.

    The door in which Tucker got stuck had been removed and put out with the trash Monday.

    "Maybe he just passed out because there was no sign of struggle or anything. She would have heard him. She was in the house," Elliot said.

  • #2
    Charlie Tucker thought he was cat
    but that Stupid F*cker was too damn fat
    Monkey!!!

    Comment


    • #3


      dammit you beat me to it.
      The Wizard of AAHZ

      Comment


      • #4
        Man dies chasing p***y.

        (Oops, that's a headline.)
        Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. - Ben Franklin
        Iain Banks missed deadline due to Civ | The eyes are the groin of the head. - Dwight Schrute.
        One more turn .... One more turn .... | WWTSD

        Comment


        • #5
          Man Dies after Entering Small Cathouse Opening
          I'm consitently stupid- Japher
          I think that opinion in the United States is decidedly different from the rest of the world because we have a free press -- by free, I mean a virgorously presented right wing point of view on the air and available to all.- Ned

          Comment


          • #6
            I think Japher's got it.

            The door in which Tucker got stuck had been removed and put out with the trash Monday.


            Great! Now what is the cat supposed to do?
            "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
            "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

            Comment


            • #7
              Here lies Charlie Tucker
              A really fatass sucker
              His girlfriend kicked him out
              Entering the cat door he was too stout
              What a stupid motherf***er
              Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. - Ben Franklin
              Iain Banks missed deadline due to Civ | The eyes are the groin of the head. - Dwight Schrute.
              One more turn .... One more turn .... | WWTSD

              Comment


              • #8
                Charles Tucker Jr.

                1975 - 2007

                He tried and tried but ultimately lost his desperate struggle with.. that thing which has now been placed in the trash.

                He will remain stuck forever in all our hearts

                Comment


                • #9
                  "Going through a cat door this cat died"

                  or

                  "Going through a cat door was this cat's undoing"
                  Long time member @ Apolyton
                  Civilization player since the dawn of time

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Japher
                    Charlie Tucker thought he was cat
                    but that Stupid F*cker was too damn fat

                    Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      "Curiosity killed the cat"

                      "This cat used up his ninth life"

                      "[insert feline cliche here]"
                      Unbelievable!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        In a cat's door Tucker found a cattastrophe.
                        Long time member @ Apolyton
                        Civilization player since the dawn of time

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I think they might cremate him to save space.
                          You just wasted six ... no, seven ... seconds of your life reading this sentence.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Japher
                            Charlie Tucker thought he was cat
                            but that Stupid F*cker was too damn fat
                            This thread should have ended here.

                            Excellent.
                            "I am sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and you disagree with this administration somehow you're not patriotic. We should stand up and say we are Americans and we have a right to debate and disagree with any administration." - Hillary Clinton, 2003

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                            • #15
                              It is easier for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven
                              Than for a fat man to pass through a cat flap.

                              Comment

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