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Part 2: What do gays PRIMARILY look for in their partners?

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  • #61
    Originally posted by AAHZ
    its as simple as a top-bottom relationship.

    you could have 5 gay people in a room, but if they are all bottoms nothing will happen except drama. aggressive tops and submissive bottoms is the key component of any gay relationship.

    Bears Club is a little different, but as i have personally known some bears, one will take on the dom one will be the sub. they are an example of a versitile gay relationship. and even though i think they are as ugly as sin, they are the epitomy of what gay relationships SHOULD be.

    but its usually just bottom-top type thing that does not last over 6 months and is filled with drama and bull****.


    Wow AAHZ, I am amazed. Thank you for an honest answer.

    So, just to be sure I understand this, self-confidence is what would decide it? A confident gay person will look for less-confident someone to take care of ( in a sense) and vice versa?

    Spec.
    -Never argue with an idiot; He will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

    Comment

    • #62
      Asher,

      the point is there will ALWAYS be a top type figure in ANY relationship. I challenge you to give me an example of a versatile gay relationship outside the Bears Club that has lasted over 1 year.
      Order of the Fly
      Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

      Comment

      • #63
        Originally posted by Spec
        Drop your word play plaese.

        You see Lori, this thread I made in a completly serious manner. Its a discussion I had with friends staturday night and we were all wondering...even my lesbian friend was wondering....and I figured I would ask here to see you guys opinions and all I get are stupid smart ass answers....and the most stupid answers come from the people that could help me best understand this...Well **** me for asking...

        I even mentionned it 5 or 6 times : I am totally serious

        But still....I get stupid answers....This is disapointing.

        Spec.
        Spec, you're getting serious answers from us. We're of the opinion that you can't make useful generalizations about this sort of thing.
        Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
        "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

        Comment

        • #64
          Spec,

          not always. there are some "powerbottoms" that pride themselves in being as feminine as possible and tops that act as straight as anybody else but love the "bottom" twinks. Self confidence might be a part of it, but this is the bottom line.

          this is the way it works.
          Order of the Fly
          Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

          Comment

          • #65
            Originally posted by Lorizael


            Spec, you're getting serious answers from us. We're of the opinion that you can't make useful generalizations about this sort of thing.
            I can, and I will. You always can. There is always a general case, wether you like it or not.

            In general, men like tools. FACT
            In general women dont care for tools FACT.

            And so on....

            Spec.
            -Never argue with an idiot; He will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

            Comment

            • #66
              Originally posted by AAHZ
              Spec,

              not always. there are some "powerbottoms" that pride themselves in being as feminine as possible and tops that act as straight as anybody else but love the "bottom" twinks. Self confidence might be a part of it, but this is the bottom line.

              this is the way it works.
              Interesting. Anybody wanna give out another point of view.

              Why does AAHZ understand my question?

              Spec.
              -Never argue with an idiot; He will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

              Comment

              • #67
                There's a difference between a useful generalization and a stereotypical perception reinforced by society.

                I think society reinforces the perception that men like tools, but I wouldn't actually make such a generalization.
                Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

                Comment

                • #68
                  Originally posted by Spec
                  Why does AAHZ understand my question?

                  Spec.
                  because AAHZ was in a steady gay relationship over 3 years. i was the top. i know the community, i know the way they think, and i know that the answer i gave is the way it works.
                  Order of the Fly
                  Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

                  Comment

                  • #69
                    Originally posted by AAHZ
                    Asher,

                    the point is there will ALWAYS be a top type figure in ANY relationship. I challenge you to give me an example of a versatile gay relationship outside the Bears Club that has lasted over 1 year.
                    Me, 4.5 years.

                    Done.
                    "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                    Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                    Comment

                    • #70
                      Originally posted by AAHZ


                      because AAHZ was in a steady gay relationship over 3 years. i was the top. i know the community, i know the way they think, and i know that the answer i gave is the way it works.
                      I'm older than you and I'm in a steady gay relationship for over 4.5 years. And it's still going strong.

                      And I'm telling you you're completely wrong.

                      If you're referring to the slut/clubbing community, you may be right, but eventually they grow up.
                      "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                      Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                      Comment

                      • #71
                        Originally posted by Asher
                        Me, 4.5 years.

                        Done.
                        You are not a relationship, Asher.
                        Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                        "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

                        Comment

                        • #72
                          you are a bottom, Asher, and your partner is probably the top. There might be switching of styles in the bedroom but as a general behavior in conversation i can bet i am right
                          Order of the Fly
                          Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

                          Comment

                          • #73
                            Let's see, the one person in the thread playing along with Spec is AAHZ.

                            But the rest of us are the ones who are wrong. CLEARLY.



                            -Arrian
                            grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!

                            The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.

                            Comment

                            • #74
                              Originally posted by AAHZ
                              you are a bottom, Asher, and your partner is probably the top. There might be switching of styles in the bedroom but as a general behavior in conversation i can bet i am right


                              If anything, one could take from my attitude on Apolyton that I'm anything but submissive.

                              But what you don't know is the SO and I both are rather dominant personalities. The thing is we're both smart enough to not let that get in the way of things.
                              "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                              Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                              Comment

                              • #75
                                By the way, Spec, I think this "most people agreed with me in the other thread" thing is a case of you seeing what you wanted to see.

                                -Arrian
                                grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!

                                The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.

                                Comment

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