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Note To Criminals — Don't Call Tech Support

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  • Note To Criminals — Don't Call Tech Support

    Idiot!!

    Would-be identity thief finds himself stumped without printer drivers

    By Jacqui Cheng | Published: October 23, 2007 - 11:35AM CT

    There are a few things in this world that thieves need to keep in mind in order to run a successful criminal operation. For example, don't take the cash you just stole from one bank to another bank down the street to have it deposited into your account. Don't steal someone's MacBook and take it to the Apple Store Genius Bar the next day to get help with OS X. And finally, don't steal a drivers' license printer from the DMV, only to call up the manufacturer the next day looking for drivers. That's one tip that 33-year-old Missouri resident Timothy Scott Short apparently wasn't aware of when he stole some equipment from the Missouri Department of Revenue earlier this month, only to find himself facing jail time after outing himself to tech support.

    Short stole the Digimarc printer, along with a PC containing names and birthdates, from the Department of Revenue's contract office in St. Charles. Unfortunately for Short, the PC was locked, and he was unable to access anything on it, department director Trish Vincent told IDG. But without the software installed on the PC, the printer was essentially useless. Think of the millions of fake IDs that could be created on that thing!

    Short apparently couldn't stop thinking about it, as he broke down and called Digimarc for support—twice—a couple of days later asking whether he would be able to obtain printer drivers. Secret Service Special Agent John Bush told IDG that he recognized Short's voice on the recording from another, unrelated investigation and that the phone number that Short had provided matched up to another identity theft case. Here's another tip for thieves: don't use your regular phone number for all of your crimes. Get a business line or something.

    Short was then tracked down a few days later and charged with possession of document-making implements with the intent to use them for fraud. He now faces a $250,000 fine and up to 10 years in prison.
    I love being beaten by women - Lorizael

  • #2


    The moron.
    I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life - anybody's life, my life. All he'd wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? All I could do was sit there and watch him die.

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    • #3

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      • #4
        Sounds just as stupid as this guy:

        1990 Darwin Award: Wrong Time, Wrong Place: A man tried to commit a robbery in Renton, WA. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices as listed below: 1. The target was H&J Leather


        The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree appeared to be the robber's first, due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

        1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms. A gun shop.

        2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.

        3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.

        4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.

        Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup, and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, covered by several customers who also drew their guns, thereby removing the confused criminal from the gene pool.

        No one else was hurt.


        This space is empty... or is it?

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        • #5
          Many good ones can be found at:


          one of my favorites
          Price of Stolen Copper Leads To ...
          Courtesy of Reuters

          BERLIN - A thief in Germany was charred beyond recognition by a 10,000 volt electric shock when he tried to steal a live copper cable, authorities said Monday.

          Police in the western city of Duisburg found the 32-year-old man's blackened remains by a set of cable cutters and pile of non-live cables he had already stolen.

          Only because one of his hands survived incineration were officers able to identify the man as German of Kazakh origin.

          "His fingerprints were already logged on police files," a local police spokesman said. "The force of the shock was so great that the hand was severed from his body."
          Keep on Civin'
          RIP rah, Tony Bogey & Baron O

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