Disciplined...one of your qualities?

[Spec]

I have the strong beleif that if you have no discipline in life, you cant go forward. Can you agree with that?

Meaning, you do what has to be done when supposed to be done, pay bills on time, respect others in need and your partner, strong work ethic, putting money aside for darker days/retirement/life goals and such, never procrastinate. Do you have those qualities?

I think I do. But at different percentages...Example, as if it were an exam:

Respect others in need and your partner: 80%
Strong work ethic: 95%
Putting money aside for darker days/retirement/life goals and such: 75%
Never procrastinate: 95%
Pay bills on time: 100% (I'd rather not eat and pay my bills)
Keep a clean evironment/house: 85%

I'm sure I'm forgetting important ones too, and you guys will be there to bring them up for us.

Anyhow, I was wondering how you guys see life. Do you take control and go forward, or you just sail the wave of life and go with the current?

Either way, would you discribe yourself as disciplined? I am asking because I am wondering if I'm too stiff with a friend of mine.

Here's the situation. He's now 29 years old, has had a regular job as a waiter for the last 3 years or so. But, he never cleans, never puts money aside, doesn't have a car (and he works 20 miles away and takes a cab every day or leaches for a ride ), always drunk or stone, only plays video games or go out in clubs, not able to get a date and so on...No discipline whatsoever. He has problem taking care of a toad he bought...Imagine that, all he has to do is give it to crickets every 2 days and he has problems doing that...and he wants to buy a dog. And all that comes to my mind is "Please dont, poor dog". He's 30 freaking years old! Wake the **** up...

Is it normal that I am frustrated just thinking about this? Am I too stiff? I feel like punching him around. The conversations I have with him is on how much he was ****ed up last night or how just to crazy he is off doing all that shlt...First off, in my head I'm saying to my self: " You aint seen nothing man '' and "Man, drop it already, you're 30 years old! Dont you want a house someday instead of a freaking debt collector knocking on your door?" His credit ois so bad, he cant even get a 500$ visa...Wtf! And in his mind, being cool is still how ****ed up you can get....just like when I was 20 years old or so...

Is it normal to be frustrated or should I just let it be?

Spec.

[Lorizael]

I post on Apolyton all day at work instead of doing my job. What do you think?

Also, your friend is definitely more undisciplined than my 30 year old (temporarily) unemployed brother.

[Spec]

So I'm th exeption and I should let it be?

And I thought you were here to change the world or something....you ain't gonna do that by posting on Poly all day long, no? Dont you think discipline would help you get to your goals?

Only asking.

Spec.

[Lorizael]

Heh. The problem with having discipline is, it takes discipline to get it.

No. You're not an exception. Get bigger sample sizes.

[Spec]

Between all my good friends, male and female, I'd say he's the least responsible, and I feel the urge to tell him.

Should I?

I am 100% positive that at 50 years old, he will still have nothing to show for. And on top of that, why do I even care?

You see, one of my friends just bought a house, a nice beautiful house, and I am really happy for him, just thinking about it get me happy inside...but when I think about the other GUY and how he is waisting his life, I start boiling inside.

I feel that if I tell him off, I would feel better, but at the same time, I'm sure he knows all this and it wont change a thing.

Spec.

[LordShiva]

Tell him to stop being such a loser.

[Lorizael]

Is your friend happy?

[LordShiva]

Which one?

[Spec]

Originally posted by Lorizael
Is your friend happy?

I doubt it. Seriously, in his place, I wouldn't be.

Maybe he is though, but I doubt it. Maybe thats why hes always stone, thats all he has to look forward to....He has no goals, no gf, a computer and a room. Thats all...

He even neglects his family for crying out loud...

It took him 2 years or so I think just to go see his "new born" nefew....what disrespect towards his aunt and uncle imo. He sees his parent twice a year only and he lives 25 minutes away...

I feel like telling him off...for his own good, and mine....as weird as that may sound....

Spec.

[Garth Vader]

He probably knows, my philosophy is to not tell people things like that unless they ask for advice or if it's really affecting you in some way.

[-Jrabbit]

I'd be curious to know if this guy considers himself happy.

If he's a friend, it shouldn't have to be "telling him off" but rather just a conversation about how some of his problems would go away if he did some simple, concrete things. Most behavior of this type is habitual, and usually can't be changed -- certainly not all at once. Find a good, manageable example and get him to agree on trying it.

Don't get involved in his family issues.

If you value this friendship, don't go all parental on him. Normally, it's the GF's job to change men for the better. You may not want to be in that position.

[Spec]

Thats sound advice Jrabbit.

Spec.

[Lorizael]

Originally posted by Spec
I doubt it. Seriously, in his place, I wouldn't be.

Maybe he is though, but I doubt it. Maybe thats why hes always stone, thats all he has to look forward to....He has no goals, no gf, a computer and a room. Thats all...

He even neglects his family for crying out loud...

It took him 2 years or so I think just to go see his "new born" nefew....what disrespect towards his aunt and uncle imo. He sees his parent twice a year only and he lives 25 minutes away...

I feel like telling him off...for his own good, and mine....as weird as that may sound....

Spec.

Do you think he's a bad person?

[Spec]

Nope.

Absolutly not.

He's just a "I dont give a shlt about anything" type of guy. And that ticks me off. Up to a point that I can see our friendship coming to an end in the near future just because as time goes on, we have less and less in common. All he can talk about is how he was so waisted the other night....Its getting tiresome. All that comes to my mind when he talks about stuff like that is " Woohoo....bravo...." and " Stop freaking waisting your life..."

Also, as soon as I talk about whats new with me, he changes the subject....Which tells me hes either probably jealous that my life is evolving and not his....But I may just be wrong on this though.

Spec.

[Lorizael]

Originally posted by Spec
Also, as soon as I talk about whats new with me, he changes the subject....Which tells me hes either probably jealous that my life is evolving and not his....But I may just be wrong on this though.

It's also possible that he just doesn't care about you. Anyways, let's get back to the fact that I'm also an unmotivated loser.