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This is a spinoff from the thread about the British PM giving up his war powers. Well, let's look at the contenders. I've never been to any of them, but then again I doubt the average Brit who judges the U.S. has been to it for more than two days, average. So I'll be basing my judgment on stereotypes and what I read in books, saw in movies, etc. The rest of you are free to work from facts or firsthand impresions. As I see it:
ENGLAND is pretty so-so. On the one hand, they're polite and have an interesting sense of humor. On the other, their idea of food leaves something to be desired; I understand they eat plainly disgusting animal parts like kidneys (mmm, urine factories), and they overcook them to boot. They get some bonus points for roast beef and yorkshire pudding, and for spawning some awesome bands back in the day. Points are deducted for bad teeth, ludicrous anachronistic traditions and a love of stupid-sounding words like "picadilly" and "crumpet." Accent-wise, they come out neutral, since for every elegant, refined voice they have two squawking cockney types, and those are usually the ones on the BBC.
WALES has excessive mountains and consonants. However, they have a cool dragon on their flag, they invented the longbow, and the few Welsh foods I've heard of--rarebit and those pancakes with currants in them--sound edible. I rank it a little above England, but not much.
SCOTLAND is the clear winner IMO. They have Sean Connery's Aurthentic Scortish Akshent, for one thing. Also they invented claymores (the two-handed swords, not the mines), plaid, and Barr's Irn-Bru, which I've tasted--it's awesome. Musically, Scotland has the bagpipes, which sound like 500lb. mosquitos but are still pretty cool. Haggis is not a strong point, but they make a yummy lamb-and-barley stew. Plus they throw tree-trunks for fun. Kilts may seem girly, but I'd rather have a kilt than be one of those "chav" vermin England has. Oh, and they have Scotch. Scotch is terrific too.
NORTHERN IRELAND is the worst of the four, since almost everything it does some other country does better. The Arabic world is well ahead of them in car bombs and woman-beating ATM, and Ireland itself is more authentically Irish since it's not occupied by foreigners. I concede that they're probably the best drunkards (along with Ireland proper), though the Finns may beg to differ. Brogue sounds like a sissy version of the Scottish burr, and reminds me of Lucky the leprechaun every time I hear it.
ENGLAND is pretty so-so. On the one hand, they're polite and have an interesting sense of humor. On the other, their idea of food leaves something to be desired; I understand they eat plainly disgusting animal parts like kidneys (mmm, urine factories), and they overcook them to boot. They get some bonus points for roast beef and yorkshire pudding, and for spawning some awesome bands back in the day. Points are deducted for bad teeth, ludicrous anachronistic traditions and a love of stupid-sounding words like "picadilly" and "crumpet." Accent-wise, they come out neutral, since for every elegant, refined voice they have two squawking cockney types, and those are usually the ones on the BBC.
WALES has excessive mountains and consonants. However, they have a cool dragon on their flag, they invented the longbow, and the few Welsh foods I've heard of--rarebit and those pancakes with currants in them--sound edible. I rank it a little above England, but not much.
SCOTLAND is the clear winner IMO. They have Sean Connery's Aurthentic Scortish Akshent, for one thing. Also they invented claymores (the two-handed swords, not the mines), plaid, and Barr's Irn-Bru, which I've tasted--it's awesome. Musically, Scotland has the bagpipes, which sound like 500lb. mosquitos but are still pretty cool. Haggis is not a strong point, but they make a yummy lamb-and-barley stew. Plus they throw tree-trunks for fun. Kilts may seem girly, but I'd rather have a kilt than be one of those "chav" vermin England has. Oh, and they have Scotch. Scotch is terrific too.
NORTHERN IRELAND is the worst of the four, since almost everything it does some other country does better. The Arabic world is well ahead of them in car bombs and woman-beating ATM, and Ireland itself is more authentically Irish since it's not occupied by foreigners. I concede that they're probably the best drunkards (along with Ireland proper), though the Finns may beg to differ. Brogue sounds like a sissy version of the Scottish burr, and reminds me of Lucky the leprechaun every time I hear it.
:homer:
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