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In some circles, Nyaung-u Sawrahan is almost venerated. He is frequently held up as an example of how even one of particularly humble origins can attain greatness, providing a worthy object lesson to the grovelling proles. Buddhists are particularly keen on him, citing him as a noted patron of the arts and a noted scholar in music and astronomy despite the fact that he was born a commoner. All very worthy and inspiring, I'm sure you'll agree. Doubtless you're now asking yourself "Good gracious! Has Laz mellowed with his advancing years? Is he telling a simple and heart-warming tale worthy of any production by those nice Disney people?"
No chance. Here's what really happened.
It was Burma in the 10th century. King Theinkho was out and about with his retinue, conducting a tour of the local area to bless the loyal oiks with his anointed presence- think of it as the ancient precursor of showing up at some godawful school for infant crack-heads, or something. It was a long hot day, and as the procession passed a local farm, the king noticed the bumper crop of large and succulent cucumbers growing. This stirred the king's appetites, and he decided that what he really needed right then was to munch on a cool, juicy cucumber or two. So the king regally strolled into the fields, plucked a prize cucumber and happily chowed down on it.
This is where Nyaung-u Sawrahan enters the story. He was the farmer who owned the field, you see. It's always important to make a dramatic entrance in a historic tale, and his entrance really does take some beating. Screaming like a banshee, he came hurtling out of his hut and (ditching the usual formalities associated with greeting royalty) promptly battered King Theinkho to death with a spade.
There was a stunned silence. However it's at this point that things take a turn for the seriously weird. Rather than take the traditional course of having Nyaung hacked into twitching little lumps of goo, the Queen started panicking about whether the king's brutal slaying would spark public disorder. So she had Nyaung overpowered, tied up, and sneaked into the Palace. Then she had him crowned as the new king.
As measures to preserve public order go, it proved quite successful. The public seemed to take to their new king, and a time of relative peace prevailed. The new king Nyaung had his old fields turned into a royal garden of noted beauty, and spent the rest of his life dedicating himself to noble pursuits.
Wasn't that nice? I can't see Disney filming it, however....
No chance. Here's what really happened.
It was Burma in the 10th century. King Theinkho was out and about with his retinue, conducting a tour of the local area to bless the loyal oiks with his anointed presence- think of it as the ancient precursor of showing up at some godawful school for infant crack-heads, or something. It was a long hot day, and as the procession passed a local farm, the king noticed the bumper crop of large and succulent cucumbers growing. This stirred the king's appetites, and he decided that what he really needed right then was to munch on a cool, juicy cucumber or two. So the king regally strolled into the fields, plucked a prize cucumber and happily chowed down on it.
This is where Nyaung-u Sawrahan enters the story. He was the farmer who owned the field, you see. It's always important to make a dramatic entrance in a historic tale, and his entrance really does take some beating. Screaming like a banshee, he came hurtling out of his hut and (ditching the usual formalities associated with greeting royalty) promptly battered King Theinkho to death with a spade.
There was a stunned silence. However it's at this point that things take a turn for the seriously weird. Rather than take the traditional course of having Nyaung hacked into twitching little lumps of goo, the Queen started panicking about whether the king's brutal slaying would spark public disorder. So she had Nyaung overpowered, tied up, and sneaked into the Palace. Then she had him crowned as the new king.
As measures to preserve public order go, it proved quite successful. The public seemed to take to their new king, and a time of relative peace prevailed. The new king Nyaung had his old fields turned into a royal garden of noted beauty, and spent the rest of his life dedicating himself to noble pursuits.
Wasn't that nice? I can't see Disney filming it, however....
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