Little steps

[Pekka]

This thread is a bit gross and immature so be warned.

Anyway, I'm at work and was drinking my coffee. I usually don't drink coffee, but sometimes when I get to work, I'll get a cup just to keep me interested the first hour. Sometimes I get a cup if a friend wants to socialize.

So anyway, as I was drinking my coffee, and I'm not "used to coffee", my stomach got a bit upset. No biggie, it'll pass soon, just protesting about me poisoning my tummy.

So, I decided to go for a stroll in the building, since it still was my coffee break. I don't have settled breaks, I can have one when I want one as long and as many times as I please, however I tend to have official breaks when I drink coffee.

So, I was walking and thought let's take the elevator. Yees.. the elevator hmm nice plan. This will be interesting. The up and down machine. But oh well, there were some guys in there with tons of tools and material, I guess they were going somewhere to fix something. So I take the steps.

So as I walk down the steps, my tummy really starts to protest. I'm like damn tummy, shut up, stop twisting me. So I just take it easy and walk slower. It'll pass. Right? I hit the second floor and decided my stroll will take place in this floor. Right around getting from the stairs to the floor, it really hits me. *BOOOOM!* my tummy gets very tight and kind of bloated. Really fast, really hard. This would call for a loud passing of the gas, but I can't do it in here. There's people around. Uncontrollable series of loud farts is a bad idea, and I don't think they'll be smelling like roses either.

So there's a bathroom about 20 meters away. YES! I take the first fast step towards it. Damn it! I can't walk! But I can't stop either. What are you going to do, Pekka, what are you going to do? Screw this, let's take little steps but fast. I think it's quit obvious the way I walk what really is happening, but hey, it's life, everyone knows this because they've had it and they've done it.

Fast baby steps. One two one two one two, my mind sets itself on survival mode. I'm not sure if I'll make it, that's how bad it is. I'm just not sure. "You can do it!" my mind tells me, the sweet deception of the self. Always an optimist. The only thing that was missing was the slow motion of the fast baby steps, face in agony turning into foolish hope, while people cheer me on both sides, screaming "Yes Pekka YES!", "You'll make it!" while Chariots of Fire plays in the background. People clapping and jumping slow motion, everyone in complete extacy of this precious moment, history is being made, a new champion is born right before their eyes. An evil coffee mug, human size, is watching me in disbelief as my baby steps are taking me into the victory. It's thinking "My evil plans, foiled again!"...

Right in front of the bathroom I just give myself the odds of 50/50 that the bathroom is free. Yes! The door opens! Ha-haa! It is the handicap bathroom but hell, I'm handicapped right now. So I storm in and basically find out very soon, that my tummy was really upset. I'm glad I made it, even though just barely.

Well, that's my day so far. How about yours?

[Harovan]

Doing great. Had my first pot of tea, Assam with lime and candy. I could have free coffee here at work, but it tastes like crap.

Nice story btw, but I doubt you're telling us the full truth. Come on, admit it, you crapped in your pants, right?

[Pekka]

No I didn't crap my pants. It was close though. It's always close, but you somehow make it. I think the brains are short circuiting the relax command from the brain or something. It's true survival.

First POT of tea? You drink a lot of tea... what are you, British?

[Harovan]

It's a little teapot, short and stout... There's only about 700-800 ml in it. And I drink 2-3 of them daily. Tea is not the worst thing you can drink.

[Pekka]

Only 700-800ml... that's almost a liter... so you drink from 2 to 3 liters of tea a day?

Well of course it's not the worst of liquids to consume, but still... I can't imagine drinking so much tea. My tummy would prolly start to protest lot more often and I'd have to take fast baby steps every other day.

[Harovan]

You should drink about 2 liters daily before you become thirsty (that's already a warning sign). Your body thanks for it. Coffee doesn't count towards it. Neither does black tea like my Assam, but it's not the only tea sort I drink. I just like it in the morning.

[Pekka]

I think the rule goes you should drink _at least_ 2 liters a day. Water preferred. After that, go drink your poison tea. You say it is good for you, but it really isn't. You don't know where that tea has been. You don't know that, you just think you do. This is dangerous.

[Patroklos]

Anyway, I'm at work and was drinking my coffee. I usually don't drink coffee, but sometimes when I get to work, I'll get a cup just to keep me interested the first hour. Sometimes I get a cup if a friend wants to socialize.

I don't drink coffee either, but sometimes it is the only thing available on a long night watch when you need the caffine to stay awake.

But in my case coffee ALWAYS ****s with me the way you describe above. So usually the 5th hour of a 5 hour watch the JOOD has the bridge for ten minutes...

[Harovan]

Originally posted by Pekka
I think the rule goes you should drink _at least_ 2 liters a day. Water preferred. After that, go drink your poison tea. You say it is good for you, but it really isn't. You don't know where that tea has been. You don't know that, you just think you do. This is dangerous.

Fruit and herbal teas are just as good as water, only black or green tea is not.

At the moment I'm having dogrose tea btw.

[Pekka]

Patrokolos, good to know I'm not the only baby stepper

[KrazyHorse]

This thread has nothing on my "Cap'n Crunch turned my poo blue" thread...