A letter from your soon-to-be uncle-in-law...

[Perfection]

[females/homosexuals alter genders as needed, already married folks imagine this is when you married your spouse, please reply in letter format]

Hello, I'm your soon-to-be uncle-in-law! I'm a batcrap-insane multibillionaire who delights in making people do weird things. If you and and my niece who you love so much have a rediculously crazy wedding I'll give you a billion dollars. Now this must be something like really off-the-wall-nuts that would make newspapers and TV and stuff, and you can't cheap out and have some lame-ass regular ceremony later on or before. Please respond to my letter (and I'll throw in $50,000,000 if it's in rhymed couplets) answering these two questions:
1. Do you accept my generous offer?
2. What are your plans?

I will review your plans and contact you if they are insufficiently crazy.

I hope you enjoy the lutefisk I sent you,
Rich Unky Perfypants

PS, don't think you'll ever get another penny out of me if you don't go through with this, this is your one chance at my very large wallet.

[DRoseDARs]

Edit: Birds of a feather spam together...

[Perfection]

Dear, DRoseDARs

No money for you!

Love,
Rich Unky Perfypants

P.S. NEXT!

[Dauphin]

Thank you for your offer, however I already have power of attorney over your estate.

PS, remember to take your meds.

[Perfection]

Dear, Dauphin

No money for you!

Love,
Rich Unky Perfypants

P.S. NEXT!

[DaShi]

Dear Unky Pervypants,

I have photos of what you did to those young boys. Unless you want to "make newspapers and TV and stuff," you'll send me the money regardless of weddings and what not.

Love,

Mister X

[Zkribbler]

Honey? Do you have an uncle who is a batcrap-insane multibillionaire who delights in making people do weird things?? I have a letter from him that you might want to read...