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The rules are: Unarmed combat only, no weapons, no help, no outside interference. Both contestants are assumed to be in their prime of life for the sake of the match. All styles of combat are permitted. Battles can be to the death, to KO, or until one or the other forfeits.
First Match: Thomas Aquinas vs. Thomas Paine. I'm going to call this one a dead heat. On the one hand, Aquinas was hardly the violent type, but he was by all accounts good at processing a lot of information at once, which could come in handy in a brawl assuming it applies to sensory information as well as abstract contemplation. Plus, if Paine looked anything like his picture in Colonization, he must have been just about the world's worst fighter.
Second: Darwin vs. Darby. I'm leaning towards Darby. Darwin is quite familiar with the concept of survival of the fittest, and he spent a lot of time out of doors. But Darby's the guy who invented the Rapture. He's CRAZY. We all know about the strength and courage of madmen, don't we?
Third: Bertrand Russell vs. Charles Taze Russell. I say Bertrand. Pastor Russell would no doubt have been quite skilled at fighting dirty, but like all con men he must have been a coward at heart. He'd cry uncle the moment the match went against him. And I'm pretty sure Bertrand's got roughly twice his intelligence.
Other suggestions are welcome. Matches will be made based on the congruency of names for humorous or dramatic effect, as in the examples above. Agnostics and Deists can be classified as Atheists for the purposes of this thread, since they're generally on the atheist side in arguments and I'm too lazy to look up the religious beliefs of all these people. Not for a joke thread...and I hope nobody was suggesting a SERIOUS thread.
First Match: Thomas Aquinas vs. Thomas Paine. I'm going to call this one a dead heat. On the one hand, Aquinas was hardly the violent type, but he was by all accounts good at processing a lot of information at once, which could come in handy in a brawl assuming it applies to sensory information as well as abstract contemplation. Plus, if Paine looked anything like his picture in Colonization, he must have been just about the world's worst fighter.
Second: Darwin vs. Darby. I'm leaning towards Darby. Darwin is quite familiar with the concept of survival of the fittest, and he spent a lot of time out of doors. But Darby's the guy who invented the Rapture. He's CRAZY. We all know about the strength and courage of madmen, don't we?
Third: Bertrand Russell vs. Charles Taze Russell. I say Bertrand. Pastor Russell would no doubt have been quite skilled at fighting dirty, but like all con men he must have been a coward at heart. He'd cry uncle the moment the match went against him. And I'm pretty sure Bertrand's got roughly twice his intelligence.
Other suggestions are welcome. Matches will be made based on the congruency of names for humorous or dramatic effect, as in the examples above. Agnostics and Deists can be classified as Atheists for the purposes of this thread, since they're generally on the atheist side in arguments and I'm too lazy to look up the religious beliefs of all these people. Not for a joke thread...and I hope nobody was suggesting a SERIOUS thread.
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