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How to turn your tourist class seat into a 1st class ditto at BA

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  • How to turn your tourist class seat into a 1st class ditto at BA

    Well, the method can only be used once

    British Airways has apologised to its most lucrative customers after twice using first class cabins in aircraft as temporary morgues in the last six months.


    BA apologises for using first class seats to store corpses


    Martin Wainwright
    Monday March 19, 2007
    The Guardian

    British Airways has apologised to its most lucrative customers after twice using first class cabins in aircraft as temporary morgues in the last six months.

    The bodies of elderly passengers who died in cheaper and fully occupied sections of planes during the flights were transferred to empty seats in first class because of a lack of space to store them.

    Natural sympathy among other passengers was tempered by concerns about health in cramped conditions on long flights and the presence of relatives of the victims who were overcome with distress. Such incidents are very rare on commercial flights but many airlines, including BA, appear to have only makeshift strategies for dealing with them.


    BA apologises for using first class seats to store corpses


    Martin Wainwright
    Monday March 19, 2007
    The Guardian

    British Airways has apologised to its most lucrative customers after twice using first class cabins in aircraft as temporary morgues in the last six months.

    The bodies of elderly passengers who died in cheaper and fully occupied sections of planes during the flights were transferred to empty seats in first class because of a lack of space to store them.

    Natural sympathy among other passengers was tempered by concerns about health in cramped conditions on long flights and the presence of relatives of the victims who were overcome with distress. Such incidents are very rare on commercial flights but many airlines, including BA, appear to have only makeshift strategies for dealing with them.

    Article continues
    Travellers on a nine-hour overnight flight to Heathrow from Delhi last week were given an apology by the airline for any distress suffered after an elderly woman died in the economy section some three hours into the flight. Her body was moved as discreetly as practicable from the full cabin, a procedure followed in November when a retired American traveller died halfway through a six-hour flight from London to Boston. His body was covered with a blanket in a reclining seat in first class, which was 20% empty.

    The latest incident saw the woman's body propped with pillows and strapped in with a seatbelt, while her daughter sat beside her, grieving and in tears for much of the remainder of the flight. Other first class passengers in the Boeing 747 jumbo said that there appeared to be no other system to deal with the tragedy, which happens an average of 10 times a year on BA flights.

    The passenger nearest to the seat chosen as the temporary morgue, a BA gold card businessman who logs some 200,000 flying miles a year, said that it had not been made clear what was going on. He initially thought that the woman had been taken ill and was shocked when he had to ask for information and was told of the death.

    The woman's daughter had been wailing in distress, leaving the £3,000-plus passengers in the cabin anxious and helpless, he said. On arrival at Heathrow, everyone in first class was also kept on board for an hour and some interviewed by police, until a coroner gave the all clear for them to disembark. He complained but was told that there would be no compensation, he said.

    The trans-Atlantic incident prompted stiff upper lips from most passengers in the Boeing 777's 14-seat first class cabin, where the dead man's wife was given a "buddy seat" to accompany the body for the rest of the flight. One of them, also American, said that she had tried to concentrate on Mission Impossible III, the inflight film, while others "were very British about it, simply not acknowledging that there was anything wrong."

    British Airways said that there had been no room to rest the passenger's body on the Delhi flight, because all seats were taken.

    A spokesman said that there were almost inevitably problems with such a rare event among 36 million passengers carried by the airline every year.

    "When a customer passes away on board it is always difficult and we apologise for any distress caused," he said. Most other airlines also use seats after a death, or occasionally lockers altered into temporary cupboards.
    With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

    Steven Weinberg

  • #2
    Well.....

    You can always try to fake being dead
    “It is no use trying to 'see through' first principles. If you see through everything, then everything is transparent. But a wholly transparent world is an invisible world. To 'see through' all things is the same as not to see.”

    ― C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

    Comment


    • #3
      Does anyone else here have visions of John Cleese arguing with the flight attendant over whether the person sitting next to him is dead or not?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Zkribbler
        Does anyone else here have visions of John Cleese arguing with the flight attendant over whether the person sitting next to him is dead or not?
        Why did you have to say that ? Now I can't get such a scene out of my head.
        With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

        Steven Weinberg

        Comment


        • #5
          Posting due to mention of John Cleese...
          Monkey!!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Zkribbler
            Does anyone else here have visions of John Cleese arguing with the flight attendant over whether the person sitting next to him is dead or not?

            Comment


            • #7
              anyone have a clip of this scene? What movie was it from?

              Comment


              • #8
                Holy Grail
                Monkey!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  don't remember that. It's been too long since I seen that. time to "acquire" it somewhere.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Zkribbler
                    Does anyone else here have visions of John Cleese arguing with the flight attendant over whether the person sitting next to him is dead or not?
                    A customer enters a pet shop.

                    Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

                    (The owner does not respond.)

                    Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

                    Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

                    Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

                    Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

                    Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

                    Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

                    Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

                    Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

                    Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

                    Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

                    Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

                    Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

                    Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
                    show...

                    (owner hits the cage)

                    Owner: There, he moved!

                    Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

                    Owner: I never!!

                    Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

                    Owner: I never, never did anything...

                    Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

                    (Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

                    Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

                    Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

                    Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

                    Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

                    Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
                    ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

                    Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

                    Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

                    Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

                    Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
                    first place was that it had been NAILED there.

                    (pause)

                    Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
                    VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

                    Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

                    Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

                    Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
                    rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
                    bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

                    (pause)

                    Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
                    we're right out of parrots.

                    Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

                    Owner: I got a slug.

                    (pause)

                    Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

                    Owner: Nnnnot really.

                    Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

                    Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

                    Mr. Praline: Well.

                    (pause)

                    Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

                    Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
                    “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                    - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Do people normally die on BA flights?
                      “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                      "Capitalism ho!"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DaShi
                        Do people normally die on BA flights?
                        Most people has the decency not to, but there are always troublemakers that insist to do it during the flight
                        With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

                        Steven Weinberg

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          This is why you need to screen people. Finger prints are not enough. Blood work is a step forward.
                          “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                          "Capitalism ho!"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            ...and remember to chew the peanuts before swallowing them.

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