Engrish native speakers: Please help me understand

[LordShiva]

So I saw this sign about a thousand times, but today I finally got myself to read it.

But: I cannot understand it. I mean I can read the text and I know the meaning of each individual word, but the meaning of the sentence absolutely escapes my grasp. Could you ever-knowing, always-friendly, loving-to-help native speakers please rephrase it?

[Asher]

Do you speak with an accent?

[LordShiva]

No. But everyone else does.

[Kidlicious]

It doesn't mean anything. It's noise.

[LordShiva]

Originally posted by Kidicious
It doesn't mean anything. It's noise.

Alright, then, what about this one:

[Barnabas]

There are 5 good reasons for drinking sake :


For Reasons!! Thats self explanatory

You can put nectar in it! yummy!

If you are in a dry place, you can pour sake all over it, and the place gets wet!

To celebrate the national holiday!! USA USA USA!!

And if you are drunk, you dont think of the future!!

[ZEE]

once again you continue to amaze me...

[b etor]

yay for silly translations

[Cort Haus]

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is Surprise. Fear and Suprise! Two weapons. Fear, Surprise, and Ruthless Efficiency. Three weapons. Fear, Surprise, Ruthless Efficiency, and a Fanatical Devotion to the Pope! Amongst our weaponary are such diverse elements as ... "

[LordShiva]

[ZEE]

im ****ing speechless...
that was classic. nuff said.

[Cort Haus]

Definitely in the top 5 Python sketches.

[Wraith]

--"But: I cannot understand it."

Not a native engrish speaker, but that one's mostly clear.

People drink for five reasons.
For holidays.
It tastes good.
(this is the vague one) Just because.
Because they're thirsty.
They want to get unconscious.

Why something like this is hanging in public is another question, mind you.

--"Alright, then, what about this one:"

Okay, that one's out there. I suspect I'd have to actually translate the Japanese portion to make real sense of it. It kind of seems like it's asking you to call for the attendant when they're not at the cash register because they might be in the restroom.

Wraith
"I only mind the voices in my head when they don't speak English."
-- Ajax ("Duckman")

[Drake Tungsten]

Originally posted by LordShiva
Alright, then, what about this one:

The Japanese says (roughly)...

"If you need to use the restroom after you pay your bill, please let someone at the register know when you return (to leave)."

I might be missing something, though. I'm not exactly sure what なく in the second line is there for...

[LordShiva]