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...for awhile. Also, I won't threadjack to talk about my own insecurities and secrets. Also, I won't post at all. Yep, that's right - leaving forever... for the time being.
My life's a mess. I'm thoroughly unhappy. I need to focus on the important stuff. You know how it goes. There are reasons for this, of course. And because I'm bored, I present you with...
Lori's Life Story (Abridged)*
Eight years ago (end of middle school) I was lonely and alone. I fell for this girl. I developed an unhealthy attraction for her - an obsession. There are those that might call my activities about her somewhat reminiscent of stalking. Anyways, it was bad. I became depressed and couldn't find much of a reason to live.
After a couple years of this she disappeared for reasons that were unknown to me at the time. And my obsession found a new girl, and my depression worsened. Some stupid **** happened and my best friend at the time fell for the same girl. We argued. He got tired of me being depressed and jealous. The friendship died.
Then this random girl happened to find me incredibly interesting and decided she would try to figure out what made me tick. She became my first girlfriend. Less than a year into that things got bad between us because of a lot of issues and my thoughts started to wander. My obsession found a new girl in the form of The Bestfriend from that faithfulness thread a little while back.
I hid the fact that I was slowly falling in love with my best friend from my girlfriend for a long time. I was getting more and more depressed all the time. Life sucked pretty bad.
I graduated from high school (passing four classes my final semester) and wandered into the local community college. Then, for matters too lengthy to go into here, I dropped away from the world for five weeks. I needed to find myself or something like that.
I came out with a whole new world philosophy to fill the giant void in my life that my depression had created. And this philosophy didn't leave room for my girlfriend. Also, I was in love with my best friend. The point is, I left my girlfriend then. You can decide why.
Then came a pretty happy time. I started meditating. I was bettering myself. I somehow managed to squash my arachnophobia. I was single for a year. It was the best year of my friendship with my best friend. Eventually I decided that I needed to expand my horizons and bring new people into my life. This brought me my second girlfriend.
But for some reason the meditation, the exercise, and all the new good habits of mine didn't stick, and I sunk back into depression. Nevertheless I enjoyed two years with my girlfriend, which I'll not go into as that did get explained in good detail in that last thread I stole.
Now I'm single again. And I'm probably on the verge of losing my job because I'm too unmotivated to put in a full eight hours of work. And I'm doing terribly in school because I simply no longer have the habits required to study and do homework and write papers. And despite having a grand vision for the world and for my place in it, I have no will to bring any of that about.
So, I'm leaving. I'm going to class tonight and then I'm going to go on a very long walk. I've always enjoyed walks. They do wonders for my mental state. And then I won't post on Apolyton anymore, because I probably should be working at work rather than posting here. And I'm going to try to get back to that point right after my first period of isolation, when everything had seemed so clear and what I was doing seemed to make some bit of sense.
Monkeys. Bye.
* Using Lori here only for the assonance
My life's a mess. I'm thoroughly unhappy. I need to focus on the important stuff. You know how it goes. There are reasons for this, of course. And because I'm bored, I present you with...
Lori's Life Story (Abridged)*
Eight years ago (end of middle school) I was lonely and alone. I fell for this girl. I developed an unhealthy attraction for her - an obsession. There are those that might call my activities about her somewhat reminiscent of stalking. Anyways, it was bad. I became depressed and couldn't find much of a reason to live.
After a couple years of this she disappeared for reasons that were unknown to me at the time. And my obsession found a new girl, and my depression worsened. Some stupid **** happened and my best friend at the time fell for the same girl. We argued. He got tired of me being depressed and jealous. The friendship died.
Then this random girl happened to find me incredibly interesting and decided she would try to figure out what made me tick. She became my first girlfriend. Less than a year into that things got bad between us because of a lot of issues and my thoughts started to wander. My obsession found a new girl in the form of The Bestfriend from that faithfulness thread a little while back.
I hid the fact that I was slowly falling in love with my best friend from my girlfriend for a long time. I was getting more and more depressed all the time. Life sucked pretty bad.
I graduated from high school (passing four classes my final semester) and wandered into the local community college. Then, for matters too lengthy to go into here, I dropped away from the world for five weeks. I needed to find myself or something like that.
I came out with a whole new world philosophy to fill the giant void in my life that my depression had created. And this philosophy didn't leave room for my girlfriend. Also, I was in love with my best friend. The point is, I left my girlfriend then. You can decide why.
Then came a pretty happy time. I started meditating. I was bettering myself. I somehow managed to squash my arachnophobia. I was single for a year. It was the best year of my friendship with my best friend. Eventually I decided that I needed to expand my horizons and bring new people into my life. This brought me my second girlfriend.
But for some reason the meditation, the exercise, and all the new good habits of mine didn't stick, and I sunk back into depression. Nevertheless I enjoyed two years with my girlfriend, which I'll not go into as that did get explained in good detail in that last thread I stole.
Now I'm single again. And I'm probably on the verge of losing my job because I'm too unmotivated to put in a full eight hours of work. And I'm doing terribly in school because I simply no longer have the habits required to study and do homework and write papers. And despite having a grand vision for the world and for my place in it, I have no will to bring any of that about.
So, I'm leaving. I'm going to class tonight and then I'm going to go on a very long walk. I've always enjoyed walks. They do wonders for my mental state. And then I won't post on Apolyton anymore, because I probably should be working at work rather than posting here. And I'm going to try to get back to that point right after my first period of isolation, when everything had seemed so clear and what I was doing seemed to make some bit of sense.
Monkeys. Bye.
* Using Lori here only for the assonance
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