Time to rant

[Pekka]

Well, maybe just time to wonder. I don't know.. I haven't had loooong monologues in a long time, and I feel like giving one right now. I got lots of stuff in my head I need to figure out. They are not connected to each other, so that's why I can't make a thread and ask about, "hey, why does all the submarine movies go to the same single scenario, where the submarine goes too deep, and everyone is quiet, and the pressure starts to abuse the vessel, and they're kind of like afraid and stuff". I have thought about that more than once. Why is it? When you've seen one submarine movie, you've seen them all, and if you need to see one, let's go with Das Boot, OK? It's a good ****ing movie.

So there's that, and it's not connected at all to other things I want to talk about. Hence, "Time to rant". Time to do a monologue. I really, really, really would love to do a monologue somewhere public, where I'm not supposed to speak. Just winging it. Think about the first subject, so I won't go cold, and after that just give Field Castro-like 8 hour barnburner. And people would go kill 2000 people, or have a huge orgy, depending how I finish it. That's my dream.

SO what do you I want to talk about? Well, let's see. Ok, do you ever just bump into the first porn scene you ever saw? It's kind of crappy, prolly german, really awful, but it manages to turn you on like never before? So, then you go about downloading it, and it says ETA about 19 days? But you still want it. You keep your computer on for 19 days, then of course during the course of your quest for the holy grail you find out it takes double that time, but you still do it? Then you hope it's not like one of them movies you loved as a kid, but really hate now? You don't want to be disappointed, you want to get it going on. The chick is UGLY, the dude is UGLY, the scene is UGLY, they all speak German.... but you feel like home. You feel good. Yeah, this stuff is awesome. It's like your first pornstar, you just love them even though they are prolly 60 years old now, and weren't really that good back in the days either. But you gotta have it. Yeah. If you had a chance to have sex with that pornstar, you'd do it in a heartbeat. I'll bag the old lady, I don't give a damn. I'll do it.

That's porn for you. You know what's a real shocker? A real shocker is when you realize how cold you are. Like perhaps when you see someone dead in the streets, and you're like 'hmm.. I don't feel anything. That's kind of weird. I thought this would shock me. Nope. OK let's go eat something.'........... well, I was next to a room where this woman gave birth to a child today. I thought it was special for a while. Then I thought, hey, there's nothing special about this. Even turds come out while people scream, if it's really burning and big. But then I realized something else too. They sounded like they sound when they have really really good sex. So, I heard their sex making noise. I own that noise now. It is burnt in my head. It has been given to me. I steal those noises. I'm a noise thief. Part of their soul. I own part of their soul.

Do you think that's cool? I think so. Of course the same set of logic was to be had with the old cannibal tribes, where they thought that by eating their enemy, they'd gain their power as well. Now, that's pretty stupid. That's just cannibalism. Nothing special about that.

I wonder if you eat human flesh, would you feel, "Ok, stepped across the line, there's no returning back now".. and do you really feel it? What about the dude who says, "Hmm weird. I don't feel anything. OK, let's eat some more".. because that guy is ****ed up in the head.

But what I really should talk about is nuns. I mean, do you think it's OK, that nuns are 'brides of Jesus'? I mean, how arrogant is that? 'Yeah I'm going to do this worship thing now, and I'm the bride of Jesus'. No you are not. You are just a person worshipping Jesus. Why don't we ask Jesus if he likes you. That's just arrogant. And do you think Jesus approves few thousand brides? It's not like he is Gandhi.

And another thing about these nuns, it's nothing but getting deep deep sexual satisfaction. We know that when you say no to sex, what you really say is YES to sex, but in a different way. We know, that celibacy is often very arousing, extremely exciting. So I really have to question nuns, I think they are sex crazy women, who want to marry one man, who they assume is into polygamy.

What about monks? Are they husbands of Jesus? I wonder if I could ever have a following. I don't need that big of a following, but say few hundred people after I die. It would be cool. Do you want a following? Not that I'd deserve one, but it would be cool. I often think I should go and get a HUGE fan following in Japan. Just be a star, for no apparent reason at all. It's like my other dreams, making a million dollars.. ooops! Million euros (a lot more!), but not only that.. I must make it the easiest way ever, excluding inheriting it or winning it in a lottery etc. So, I don't even want to lift a finger to make that money. Just because that would be much greater than making it by working hard. Many people can make, and have made, a million credits by working hard. THat's nothing special. I want to make a million euros by not doing anything, just being a star, for no apparent reason at all. That's my dream.

[Provost Harrison]

What makes this time any different to any other then?

And finally, WTF Pekka?

[Asher]

To be well possibly surprised fair time. I do not know. I did not have loooong Monologe in a long time, and I feel to be given as at the moment. I received lots material in my head, which I must represent out. It not with one another, so that, why I cannot to form and approximately ask a thread, "he, why everything does, the underwater films go to the same individual film script attached, where the submarine goes too deeply, and everyone is calm, and the pressure begins to abuse the container and they are kind of as fearful and material". I thought of more than once. Why is it? When did you see an underwater film, you them all did see and if you go to see to have, to us with loading, o.k. left? It is a good **** ing film. Thus there is not that and it to all over other things is on attached, which I would like to speak. Therefore "time too rant". Time to do a mono log. I would really really really love to do a public of the Monologs somewhere in which I was not to speak. Winging it straight. Do not think of the first topic, thus me come up cold weather, and afterwards catching that fair giving Castro like 8 hour more barnburner. And people would go people of the toetung 2000 or a very large Orgie would have and would depend, as I terminate them. That is my dream. SO about which you would like to speak I? You let us good see. O.k., you push you at all fairly to the first porn scene at all saw? It is kind of crappy, prolly the German, really terriblly, but it handhas to put on you like never before? So then you over the Downloading it go, and it says approximately 19 days to ETA? But you wish it still. They regard your computer on as 19 days, then naturally during your search for the holy Gral, which you find it, take out to double one this times, but you do it still? Then you hope that it is not like one of them films, which loved you as kids but really hate now? They would not like to be disappointed, you would like it received large. The Kueken is UGLY, the Geck is UGLY, the scene is UGLY, it, which speaks all German.... however you feeling such as house. They feel good. Yeah is ehrfuerchtig this material. It is like your first pornstar, loves you fairly it, although they are old prolly 60 years now, and was not really good back on the days the any. But you received to have it. Yeah. If you had a probability to have sex with pornstar you would do it in a heart impact. I sag the old lady, I enter not a curse. I do it. That is porn for you. They know, what a material is more shocker? A material is more shocker, if you determine, how cold weather you are. Like possibly, if you see someone dead ones in the roads and you are not as ' hmm.. I believe nothing. Those is kind of strange. I thought that this would frighten me. Nope. O.k. left us goes eating somewhat.'........... I was good near an area, in which this woman gave birth to a child today. I thought that she was special for one while. Then did not think I, he, there am anything, which is special over this. Even turds come out, while people cry, if them are really burning and large. But then I carried out still somewhat also. They sounded, how they sound, if they have really really good sex. Thus I heard its sex to form noises. I these noises now possess. It is burned in my head. It was given to me. I steal those noises. I am a noise thief. Part their soul. I part of their soul possess. Do you, which is cool, think? I think in such a way. Of course the same sentence should be had by logic with the old Kannibalestaemmen, in which they thought that, by eating their enemy they would win their energy in addition. Now that is quite stupid. That is fair cannibalism. Nothing particularly over that. I surprise, me if you human meat eat, you to feel, "okay, stepped over the line, there now am no decreasing/going back back".. and do you really believe her? Which over the Gecken, which says, "Hmm strangely. I do not believe nothing. O.k., let more eat us ".. because this chap is **** OD above in the head. But which over I should really speak, are nuns. I, mean you think him are OKAY that nuns are ' brides of Jesus '? I mean, are how arrogant that? to ' I will now do this Anbetungsache Yeah, and I am the bride of Jesus '. Are not you not. They are fair a person, who anbetet Jesus. Why we do not ask Jesus whether he likes you. That is arrogant straight. And do you think Jesus approve to few thousand brides? It is, not like it Gandhi is. And another thing over these nuns, is not it however, deeply deep sexual satisfaction received to anything. We know that, if you do not say to the sex, what you really say are to the sex, but in another way. We know, this Ehelosigkeit are frequently much wake and extremely excite. Thus I must really ask nuns, I think that they are crazy women of the sex, who would like to marry a man, who is them in polygamie assumes. What over monks? Are they married men of Jesus? I am surprised, if I could have a following at all. I do not need that, which is large from a following, but legend of little hundred people, after I die. It would be cool. Do you wish a following? That I would not earn, but it, was cool you. I think frequently that I should go, a VERY MUCH LARGE fan too received, which follows in Japan. You are simple a star, for no obvious reason at all. It is like my other dreams and forms million dollar ooops! Million euro (much more!), but not only that. I must form it the simplest way, excluding taking over her or winning her in a lotterie etc. at all. So I would like to raise not even a finger, in order to make this money. Straight because that would be much larger than, forming it, by working strongly. Many people can form and have, million credit notes in an educated manner, by working strongly. That is not special anything. I would like to form million euro, by doing not everything and a straight star, for no obvious reason at all being. That is my dream.

[Provost Harrison]

I don't believe I actually read that...I have nothing I can possibly say.

[Zoid]

You really should do a spoken word show or something. You got tons of material

[Pekka]

Zoid, dude, I don't do that. I'm not a show man. I'm flow with the go, and that's why I need a real situation, not fake situation. I dont' want anyone to know it was a joke, except me and maybe someone else.

If you go and speak your mind, you're nothing but an idiot with weird thoughts. But if you do it seriously, you're a hero, a champion, and the king of awesomeness. Also, I don't usually joke around. I don't 'have material'. I just talk my mind. I channel my inner beast.

[Pekka]

Asher, that's a cool generator, URL please?

That actually brings me to more interesting questions.. I mean, structural versus utter insanity.

My mindset is kind of split between the two. Though I do have a very structural thinking ability, at times I choose, that is I choose, to ignore it. Just go wild. Just turn off the filters that separates your thoughts from you and what is in you. Other people need hypnosis, drugs, what ever to silence the filter and listen to your inner beast. **** it, I don't need one. I'm connected. I know my thoughts, for example when that baby was born, I thought the baby was cute, cuddly, and will grow up to be a great person. Or not. Maybe a hooker, a dealer, professional wrestler who beats his wife. Or the, "what is the most outraging thing I could possibly do now". THat's a fun game, we all play it. Some of us choose to admit it, some of us deny it.

The most outraging thing I could come up with would have been to go in, take the baby and smash it. Smash it like a toy. Outrageous. We know this game. It's like you don't want to laugh when you're attending a funeral. But when you start to really think about it, you're not sure if you burst into laughter, you are just not 100% if you can control yourself. Of course I'm not saying I wasn't 100% sure I wouldn't burst into the room and smash the baby. Of course I would never do that. That's horrible.

But yes, you often think about.. if you have gone insane. You know? And if you would go insane, would you know it? Would you know that damn, I am insane, truly medically insane. Then you try to figure out the 50/50 rule, which is "if you are not sure, it's X"... so if I'm not really sure, am I insane? Or if I'm nto really sure, then it's nothing. This question in itself is "well, if I'm not sure, then it is". So you go into a loop. A loop you can never break, you are repeating the same pattern forever, until you die, or your brain reboots, in which case you most likely die.

I mean, do we really fantasize about these things when we are awake or asleep? I remember last night I had a crazy dream, where I was enjoying the company of Jenna Jameson. Her new man is Tito Ortiz, a professional fighter. So, I was kind of like damn, should I or should I not? Tito will kill me, it'll hurt too. What if I plead insanity? Well, it turns out I did the worst, flirted with Jameson and got beat up by Ortiz. Well, I got beat up so I might as well had done some sexy things. But when I'm awake, I think different things, such as what if I was in their house, and they'd ask me to join their private intimate moments. Woudl I do it? I don't know. I just don't know. I'll let my dreams sort that one out, we'll see what happens.

[Zoid]

Originally posted by Pekka
Zoid, dude, I don't do that. I'm not a show man. I'm flow with the go, and that's why I need a real situation, not fake situation. I dont' want anyone to know it was a joke, except me and maybe someone else.

If you go and speak your mind, you're nothing but an idiot with weird thoughts. But if you do it seriously, you're a hero, a champion, and the king of awesomeness. Also, I don't usually joke around. I don't 'have material'. I just talk my mind. I channel my inner beast.

Most funny men are really troubled souls, or annoying weirdos when you meet them in private. But they channel their inner beast onto the stage. But you have Poly, that's cool

[Asher]

Originally posted by Pekka
Asher, that's a cool generator, URL please?

http://babelfish.altavista.com

English -> German
German -> English

[Kuciwalker]

:b;

[Pekka]

Zoid, I don't know, that's a 50/50 for me. That is, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I'd rather stimulate people and their thoughts. I'd rather have them think about my thoughts, and kind of connect to that. You know? If they laugh, it might feel negative, as in why are you laughing? Is this **** funny to you?

Not in mafia guy type of way, where they get insulted, because som eone takes them for a clown. Not in that macho BS way. More like.. hmm.. you thought it was a joke? It wasn't a joke. It was a thought. But then again, if someone finds it funny, nothing wrong in that, and it's always better than having a result where people kill themselves after they read what you just wrote.

But then again, that would be a great power to have as well. My first command would be, All *******s, kill yourselves now. Do it. I do not care. No one cares. Kill yourself, kill yourself right now. I might regret it later on though.. so maybe that's not a great power to be had. I guess the folks who have that power are rock artists or whatever. Losers kill themselves after they hear their favourite singer go on about, "kill yoursef... do it.. I do not care...".

I mean it's like.. you know the movies. Always, .. I mean of course you know the movies, if you don't know the movies, you shouldn't be able to read or write. But anyway, always in the movies, the situation is desperate, and the hero pulls it off. Everyone rescued.

Am I the only one who thinks 'No, die you ****er, dieeee! Please dieeee, just die for me, just once, let's have a movie where the hero actually dies. Let's have the hero dying, and falling on a baby, and that baby dies too.'. I know I'm not the only one hoping for that to happen. And then it's like if that would happen, the movie sucks. Why would it suck? Because we were taken by surprise? Why do you pay to see a movie, to see the same stuff you've already seen? That makes no sense, but the positive news is, you are easily entertained. I require more. I need something outrageous. It doesn't have to be graphic. In fact it's better if it is only suggesting, like the Silence of the Lambs? EXCELLENT movie. Just scary.. and you don't see violence or nothing. It is suggestive. Works better that way.

So suggestion of the outrageous is way more fun. We need movies like that.

[Provost Harrison]

[Pekka]

You see what you're doing there PH? What you're doing is that you're signalling approval of confusion. OK? That's ok, nothing wrong in that, but I don't think what I have stated in this thread is confusing. In fact, I think it's a like a diamond, sharp and solid, like a bullet.

You know what I'm talking about. About smashing babies. You know it because you have at least once thought about it too. Like little kids break bottles, throwing bottles to the walls or the streets or something, you are thinking about doing the same, except with babies. Well, it's not insane to think about it, it's insane to do it. Thoughts are interesting, acts can be horrible. Who hasn't thought about conquering the world? But Hitler tried to do it, there's a difference right there. He was insane. We are not.

We have all thought about the rules of the border at least once. That is, if you are, for example standing on the border of Canada and the US, RIGHT on the border, are you in no man's land? What if you stand right on it, waving your penis to border officials, and the fact can be seen that you have not crossed the border, and say the rules would state that the officials do not have jurisdiction otuside their lands. Assume they would also follow that rule.

So you'd be there, standing on the border, with your penis in your hand, waving it like a champion. But now comes trouble. The Canadian border officials calls for help. Their US counterparts come to the other side. Now you have your penis in your hand, and you can't escape. It's not like you can step back to the US side, because they'll beat you up right then.

The only thing you can do is hope for media to arrive, or the other option is to run right on the border line and hopefully lose the tail. So I guess the only real option is to hope for media to show up. Breaking news, stalemate of the century. Man waving his penis on the border, exactly. Then few hours pass.. you're strating to get cold and kind of desperate, thinking this wasn't such a good idea.

So you shout to the Canadian side, "Hey troopers! I reckon if the US side gets me, I'll go to prison for a looong time. Can I apply for an asylum?". Then you turn around, and ask the same from the US troops, if your application is denied, "considering the circumstances of your application and the situation around it". We can't have the penis man here. If we did that, we'd have the borders smashed, penis people pouring in from all over the world.

That's the border rules. Something to be still figured out, the endless scenarios are fascinating. I mean, OK, give me a lecture about the Queen III of what ever. It's nto nearly as interesting OR as important as the BORDER RULES.

[Provost Harrison]

I have honestly, never, ever thought of smashing babies...

[Pekka]

OK, so what about the border rules I just explained? I know you have thought about that.