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Headlines From The Year: 2029

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  • Headlines From The Year: 2029

    Yes, it was emailed. Get over it.





    HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
    largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as
    California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized
    as Mexifornia's third language.

    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of
    the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and
    Lebanon).

    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
    years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

    Castro finally dies at age 112 ; Cuban cigars can now be imported
    legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
    mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

    85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight
    loss.

    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
    speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

    Massachusetts executes its last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil
    rights.

    Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
    swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
    contributions to campaign accounts.

    Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

  • #2
    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
    speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

    QFT

    Comment


    • #3
      The US gained the Middle East, but lost Califoria? The world isn't was it once was!
      Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
      I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
      Also active on WePlayCiv.

      Comment


      • #4
        Yeah. Getting a still photo of a hummingbird's wings gave them great hope. Still took some years, but SUCCESS!
        Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
        "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
        He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

        Comment


        • #5
          Siro: OT, but I tried to paste the thing in your sig both in IE7 and FF, and got only an error in IE and a no search result in FF?
          Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
          I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
          Also active on WePlayCiv.

          Comment


          • #6
            Error message with Opera.
            Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
            "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
            He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Nikolai
              Siro: OT, but I tried to paste the thing in your sig both in IE7 and FF, and got only an error in IE and a no search result in FF?
              Go to the top of the page, and then paste it.
              remove the whitepace between "java" and "Script".
              oh and make sure to watch the top of the page

              Comment


              • #8
                Coooooooool
                Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
                I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
                Also active on WePlayCiv.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Don't worry Sloww, one day you might post something funny
                  Speaking of Erith:

                  "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hello there! I see you are discussing Human-Animal Hybrids. Perhaps I can be of assistance.

                    This board appears obsessed with the midterm elections. Imran, Ozzy, packed a hot lunch. You guys should check out stubhub.com, there is no way Guiliani can convert. Its about liquidity. Anything in the original advancement of Pelosi and gerrymandering, that attention was right next to me. 9-11 changed everything. Surplus of cowbell - I hate Daschle when he's been drinking.
                    RoboCon v2.1.1

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      If this is an example of "conservative" humor, I weep for Fox's Daily Show counterpart. Especially because someone seems to have dropped the torch so wonderfully passed to them by PJ O'Rourke.
                      B♭3

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
                        I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
                        Also active on WePlayCiv.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          It's Alive

                          With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

                          Steven Weinberg

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Old.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              So is your breath.
                              Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                              "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                              He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

                              Comment

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