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"This Summer, High-Concept Lameness Has a New Name"

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  • "This Summer, High-Concept Lameness Has a New Name"

    Okay, that's probably not the tagline the studio will actually use. I speak, of course, of The Transformers, the trailer for which played before the movie I saw last night. Let me just say, in all sincerity:

    Holy Freakin' Mother of God, what the hell were they thinking?

    Apparently, the same uber-geniuses who thought that loveable, bad-rubber-suited Godzilla would be much-improved if it more greatly resembled Jurrasic Park have decided that this innocuous bit of kiddie fluff would be much improved by resembling the recent War of the Worlds remake (unsurprisingly, Spielberg is exec producer on Transformers). The overall plan seems to be:

    1) Spend $150 million dollars making the big-screen version of a relatively short-lived cartoon;
    2) Potentially alienate your two biggest target audiences by making the movie (a) different enough from the original cartoon to stifle the nostalgia factor, and; (b) too scary for the young kids who would subsequently buy the toy tie-ins; and
    3) Just in case the project still has any credibility left, bring in cinematic anti-genius Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor, The Island) to direct.

    My daughter and I nearlly pissed ourselved laughing at the trailer (which you can see here), but that was the first I've heard of it. So I ask: is anybody actually looking forward to this thing?
    "I have as much authority as the pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." — George Carlin

  • #2


    ?
    12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
    Stadtluft Macht Frei
    Killing it is the new killing it
    Ultima Ratio Regum

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    • #3
      Well, I'll be...
      "I have as much authority as the pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." — George Carlin

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      • #4
        Well for Transformers it's either this or a crappy straight to DVD cartoon. So why not go for it?

        But yes, Michael Bay will kill it.
        meet the new boss, same as the old boss

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        • #5
          Michael Bay did an excellent job with The Island. It had Scarlett Johansson in it!
          Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
          "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Lorizael
            Michael Bay did an excellent job with The Island. It had Scarlett Johansson in it!
            The presence of Scarlett Johansson is not a positive reflection on Michael Bay. On God, yes, but not on Michael Bay.
            "I have as much authority as the pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." — George Carlin

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            • #7
              Uh, what's wrong with a Transformers movie? It looks better than what they did during the Armada stinker when they combined the concept with Pokemon. I'd have more faith in it if Simon Furman was one of the writers but it doesn't look immidiately off putting.
              I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
              For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

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