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Ted Haggard Cured Of Icky Ghey

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  • Ted Haggard Cured Of Icky Ghey

    They had to pray hard and Put On Their Spiritual Armor, but these four ministers of God finally managed to wrestle that monster back into the closet:



    Haggard Pronounced ‘Completely Heterosexual’
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    By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
    Published: February 6, 2007
    Filed at 9:59 a.m. ET

    DENVER (AP) -- One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is ''completely heterosexual.''

    Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

    ''He is completely heterosexual,'' Ralph said. ''That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.''

    Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

    ''If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly,'' he said. ''We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened.''

    Haggard resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals last year after allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced. He was also forced out from the 14,000 New Life Church that he founded years ago in his basement after Jones alleged Haggard paid him for sex and sometimes used methamphetamine when they were together. Haggard, who is married, has publicly admitted to ''sexual immorality.''

    Haggard said in an e-mail Sunday, his first communication in three months to church members, that he and his wife, Gayle, plan to pursue master's degrees in psychology. The e-mail said the family hasn't decided where to move but that they were considering Missouri and Iowa.

    Another oversight board member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town and the Haggards agreed.

    ''This is a good place for Ted,'' Ware said. ''It's hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now. It's like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed.''

    It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work.
    We report, you decide.
    84
    Still gay
    27.38%
    23
    Still gay
    28.57%
    24
    Still gay
    29.76%
    25
    Gay but only with bananas
    14.29%
    12
    Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

  • #2
    I'll take a guess.... Still gay?
    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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    • #3
      Now he's f**king men in a completely heterosexual manner...
      Speaking of Erith:

      "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

      Comment


      • #4
        The coin comes up ... still gay. In a totally gay way.
        Why can't you be a non-conformist just like everybody else?

        It's no good (from an evolutionary point of view) to have the physique of Tarzan if you have the sex drive of a philosopher. -- Michael Ruse
        The Nedaverse I can accept, but not the Berzaverse. There can only be so many alternate realities. -- Elok

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        • #5
          Did anyone see what the Daily Show said about the cure? So if a dad caught his kid smoking and forced him to smoke a whole carton....
          Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. - Ben Franklin
          Iain Banks missed deadline due to Civ | The eyes are the groin of the head. - Dwight Schrute.
          One more turn .... One more turn .... | WWTSD

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          • #6
            Another oversight board member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town and the Haggards agreed.

            ...

            It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work.
            "The purpose of studying economics is not to acquire a set of ready-made answers to economic questions, but to learn how to avoid being deceived by economists."
            -Joan Robinson

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            • #7
              This is the best Oerdin thread in a while.
              12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
              Stadtluft Macht Frei
              Killing it is the new killing it
              Ultima Ratio Regum

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              • #8
                Meanwhile, the gay-friendly mayor of San Francisco has adopted the Mel Gibson defense for his recently-exposed adultery by checking into rehab for alcohol abuse. Truly a banner day for the hetero lobby.
                KH FOR OWNER!
                ASHER FOR CEO!!
                GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

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                • #9
                  Well it was her affair as Newsom was divorced already by that time, so that makes it totally awesome .
                  “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                  - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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                  • #10
                    The affair happened during Newsom's divorce. Not that it matters. Sleeping with a long-time friend and advisor's wife is totally not cool...
                    KH FOR OWNER!
                    ASHER FOR CEO!!
                    GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Wow, a party-time mayor. San Fran is really laid back. But is he actually a bad mayor, though?
                      "mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
                      Drake Tungsten
                      "get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
                      Albert Speer

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                      • #12
                        It's not like people in Cisco are going to get uptight about their mayor's sex life.
                        Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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                        • #13
                          To quote from another board....

                          An easy mistake to make. He simply tripped and at such an angle that his penis, which was sadly erect at the time through divine will, penetrated the accuser who, for some unknown reason, was nearby and totally naked. And bending over.
                          Today, you are the waves of the Pacific, pushing ever eastward. You are the sequoias rising from the Sierra Nevada, defiant and enduring.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
                            Well it was her affair as Newsom was divorced already by that time, so that makes it totally awesome .
                            The entertainment value alone if the husband (an employee of his) kicks his ass would be awesome as well.
                            I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
                            For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

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                            • #15
                              I am happy for reverend
                              May he be blessed with the heterosexualest of heterosexualities.
                              "I realise I hold the key to freedom,
                              I cannot let my life be ruled by threads" The Web Frogs
                              Middle East!

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