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Why I want to some day murder a Windows security designer
1.) C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\My Documents\My Received Files\02 - Mindcircus.mp3
[i]"Windows has arbitrarily decided that this file could be harmful to your computer, so you're not allowed to open it. The past few mp3's that you've downloaded through this program, from the same user, and into the same directory have all been alright - but it's just a good thing that you have to deal with a randomized process of blocking access to recieved files. Regardless of whether or not you have a perfectly capable anti-virus program installed, we still think that it's best that you can't get into it. We're going to allow the link to still display in your MSN window, although if you click it, it will not respond - so a piece of expected respondant logic has also now been removed from your operation of the Windows program. It's an exception that we've decided is perfectly reasonable. Also, please don't bother looking for the file in the listed directory path. We've made its icon invisible. The file still exists, somewhere, yet you're not meant to even look at it - even if you now wish to delete it to stop your computer from accumulating useless sh*t in the background that can't even be opened. You have no control over this situation unless you've put extensive investment into understanding of the Windows environment - thereby knowing which training wheels to break off, where to find them, etc."
2.) http://www.r4wr.com/
"Internet explorer was perfectly happy with displaying this page 3 days ago, though not the 10 days preceding that, and not from this day forward. The referred page can be viewed by other people just fine, though there's a security issue hidden somewhere deep within your browser that decides from half-week to week whether or not you should be allowed to display this page. That the page itself does not change between these periods does not matter, no real concrete variable is used to decide whether or not you are allowed to view it. Consistency and logic are not cornerstones of keeping your computer safe. Rather are the sporatic inhibitions of access to material that is clearly defined by the human being who should have what he tells the program acted upon immediately and without f*cking hesitation. Oh well. Have you installed ActiveX yet???"
3.) Word Perfect likes to decide on strange commands and structure when you do something so simple as paste a half a sentence! Word Perfect is the ultimate expression of security, it adds whatever it so deems necessary to your documents - you are kept at arms length from true control of construction; and a logical AI code of perfection is assumed! Write what you like! Word Perfect will sort it out and make changes as you go along, to make sure everything comes out as Word Perfect feels it should!
[...]
DEAR WINDOWS SECURITY DESIGNERS,
I AM NOT AN AVID DECONSTRUCTOR OF WHAT SHOULD BE A RATHER F*CKING SIMPLE DESKTOP SYSTEM. I USE WINDOWS TO FACILITATE CREATIVE ENDEAVORS OTHER THAN COMING TO UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEXITIES OF WINDOWS ITSELF. I AM NOT A PROGRAMMER. I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO LEARN THE GALLANTRIES OF SORTING YOUR OS OUT SO IT RESPONDS AS IT IS TOLD ON THE MOST BASIC INTERFACE, EVERY TIME, ALL THE TIME. I AM NOT A ****ING INVALID WHO NEEDS EXCEPTIONARY TREATMENT ON CERTAIN COMMANDS. IF I COMMAND, AND IT IS ON THE MOST BASIC PREMISE, I EXPECT A WARNING PROMPT AT THE MOST, AND WITH THAT CLEARED - FOR THE OS TO REACT TO THE HUMAN LIKE A WINDOW PANE TO A HAMMER.
YOU HAVE CONSTRUCTED MY OS SECURITY BACKWARDS. I WANT EVERY AVAILABILITY, ALL THE TIME, FROM START TO FINISH. IF I WANT UN-ALTERING RESTRICTIONS, THAT IS WHEN I WILL LEARN HOW TO ATTENTIVELY CUSTOMIZE MY SYSTEM. IF I WANT AN ASSUMPTIVE CODE OF "BETTERING" ADDED TO MY COMMANDS, I WILL F*CKING SEEK & INSTALL THOSE OPTIONS MYSELF. I DO NOT HAVE THE INTEREST OR TIME TO HAVE TO REMOVE THEM FROM THE BEGINNING. AVAILABLE FIRST, INANE LOCK-DOWNS SECOND. HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED DOWN THE BARREL OF A LOADED GALILE 7.62? NEITHER HAVE I, BUT THE BUTT SURE FEELS NICE PROPPED AGAINST MY ENRAGED SHOULDER. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!
[i]"Windows has arbitrarily decided that this file could be harmful to your computer, so you're not allowed to open it. The past few mp3's that you've downloaded through this program, from the same user, and into the same directory have all been alright - but it's just a good thing that you have to deal with a randomized process of blocking access to recieved files. Regardless of whether or not you have a perfectly capable anti-virus program installed, we still think that it's best that you can't get into it. We're going to allow the link to still display in your MSN window, although if you click it, it will not respond - so a piece of expected respondant logic has also now been removed from your operation of the Windows program. It's an exception that we've decided is perfectly reasonable. Also, please don't bother looking for the file in the listed directory path. We've made its icon invisible. The file still exists, somewhere, yet you're not meant to even look at it - even if you now wish to delete it to stop your computer from accumulating useless sh*t in the background that can't even be opened. You have no control over this situation unless you've put extensive investment into understanding of the Windows environment - thereby knowing which training wheels to break off, where to find them, etc."
2.) http://www.r4wr.com/
"Internet explorer was perfectly happy with displaying this page 3 days ago, though not the 10 days preceding that, and not from this day forward. The referred page can be viewed by other people just fine, though there's a security issue hidden somewhere deep within your browser that decides from half-week to week whether or not you should be allowed to display this page. That the page itself does not change between these periods does not matter, no real concrete variable is used to decide whether or not you are allowed to view it. Consistency and logic are not cornerstones of keeping your computer safe. Rather are the sporatic inhibitions of access to material that is clearly defined by the human being who should have what he tells the program acted upon immediately and without f*cking hesitation. Oh well. Have you installed ActiveX yet???"
3.) Word Perfect likes to decide on strange commands and structure when you do something so simple as paste a half a sentence! Word Perfect is the ultimate expression of security, it adds whatever it so deems necessary to your documents - you are kept at arms length from true control of construction; and a logical AI code of perfection is assumed! Write what you like! Word Perfect will sort it out and make changes as you go along, to make sure everything comes out as Word Perfect feels it should!
[...]
DEAR WINDOWS SECURITY DESIGNERS,
I AM NOT AN AVID DECONSTRUCTOR OF WHAT SHOULD BE A RATHER F*CKING SIMPLE DESKTOP SYSTEM. I USE WINDOWS TO FACILITATE CREATIVE ENDEAVORS OTHER THAN COMING TO UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEXITIES OF WINDOWS ITSELF. I AM NOT A PROGRAMMER. I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO LEARN THE GALLANTRIES OF SORTING YOUR OS OUT SO IT RESPONDS AS IT IS TOLD ON THE MOST BASIC INTERFACE, EVERY TIME, ALL THE TIME. I AM NOT A ****ING INVALID WHO NEEDS EXCEPTIONARY TREATMENT ON CERTAIN COMMANDS. IF I COMMAND, AND IT IS ON THE MOST BASIC PREMISE, I EXPECT A WARNING PROMPT AT THE MOST, AND WITH THAT CLEARED - FOR THE OS TO REACT TO THE HUMAN LIKE A WINDOW PANE TO A HAMMER.
YOU HAVE CONSTRUCTED MY OS SECURITY BACKWARDS. I WANT EVERY AVAILABILITY, ALL THE TIME, FROM START TO FINISH. IF I WANT UN-ALTERING RESTRICTIONS, THAT IS WHEN I WILL LEARN HOW TO ATTENTIVELY CUSTOMIZE MY SYSTEM. IF I WANT AN ASSUMPTIVE CODE OF "BETTERING" ADDED TO MY COMMANDS, I WILL F*CKING SEEK & INSTALL THOSE OPTIONS MYSELF. I DO NOT HAVE THE INTEREST OR TIME TO HAVE TO REMOVE THEM FROM THE BEGINNING. AVAILABLE FIRST, INANE LOCK-DOWNS SECOND. HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED DOWN THE BARREL OF A LOADED GALILE 7.62? NEITHER HAVE I, BUT THE BUTT SURE FEELS NICE PROPPED AGAINST MY ENRAGED SHOULDER. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!
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