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Swallowing consonants, makes people less hungry, and therefore, thinner

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  • Swallowing consonants, makes people less hungry, and therefore, thinner

    FLINT, Mich.--The French ability to remain slimmer than Americans despite a diet higher in fats and overall calorie density has puzzled nutritionists for decades. But a new study suggests that scientists are looking in the wrong place for the secret of Gallic leanness, and that staying svelte may have nothing to do with food at all.

    "The answer is swallowed consonants," said Dr. Eric Gross, professor of biology at Lester College in Flint. "We're finding that the pronunciation of these sounds can induce a feeling of satiety in French speakers, and can lead, over the long-term, to lower body weight."

    In French phonology, nearly all terminal consonants tend to be 'swallowed'—silenced via a complex sequence of mouth and throat movements. Researchers still debate the mechanism by which these movements result in feelings of fullness. Nevertheless, most scientists have focused their investigations on the flow and vibration of air in speakers' nasal passages. The hypothalamus—which regulates hunger—sits directly above these passages, and may be affected by air movements beneath.

    Regardless of the cause, the salutary effects of French phonology remain certain. Dr. Gross' correlational study, soon to be published in the journal Nomos, reveals that university students enrolled in French language classes actually dropped four to six pounds during the course of a twelve-week semester.

    "Obviously, the degree of weight-loss increases in language-immersion programs, like the Lester College Junior Year Abroad in Aix-en-Provence," Dr. Gross said.

    Some scientists have rejected the new data, citing smaller portion size in French culture, or the effects of increased wine consumption, as the real determinants of Gallic thinness. But Dr. Gross predicts that these researchers will abandon their theories when faced with the flood of data from a global swallowed-consonant craze.

    "They'll be eating their words, like everyone else," Dr. Gross said.
    I need a foot massage

  • #2
    ok.....whatever

    I thought it would be the snails
    anti steam and proud of it

    CDO ....its OCD in alpha order like it should be

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    • #3
      This study is very serious.

      I mean, look at the international figures of obesity: international obesity is exploding with the increasing influence of the English language. Back when French was the international language, there was no obesity to speak of. Duh.

      Il est maintenant plus que temps de parler français! Allez hop, un effort!
      "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
      "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
      "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

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      • #4
        Je sens que je vais m'éclater dans ce thread
        "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
        "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
        "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

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        • #5
          "The answer is swallowed consonants," said Dr. Eric Gross, professor of biology at Lester College in Flint.
          Remind me to never ever let my kids go to Lester College.

          Was this the same Flint where Moore was from? he always says who poor that place is. Well, wonder no more.
          In da butt.
          "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
          THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
          "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

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          • #6
            Hoh, thought this was an Onion article...

            Shouldn't politician be anorecticlt thin? I mean, they swallow full words...
            I've allways wanted to play "Russ Meyer's Civilization"

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            • #7
              I've never met a fat mute.
              Monkey!!!

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              • #8
                Who is Consonants?
                Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Spiffor
                  Je sens que je vais m'éclater dans ce thread
                  You feel that you are going to blow yourself up in this thread?

                  Quick, guys, get outta here ... Spiff's wearing a rucksack!

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                  • #10


                    Y'all are a buncha morans!
                    Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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                    • #11
                      LOLZ and ROFLZ


                      I think it's the american craze with BIGGER = BETTER that does that.
                      Bigger portions, bigger meals, bigger food packages, bigger fridges, bigger breasts, bigger penises...

                      wait.

                      I got carried away.

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                      • #12
                        WEEKLY WORLD NEWS.

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                        • #13
                          the thread title was about swallowers so I had to click.

                          very interesting though. however I don't think having to talk like that constantly would be worth it.
                          Shop Amazon thru my Searchbox, thanks! Narz's Chess Page

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Spiffor
                            Je sens que je vais m'éclater dans ce thread
                            Et moi, je pense que je dois parler en francais. Ma mere est lectrice de francais et translateure, et moi, j'ai oublie le francais. J'ai besoin de bon livre en francais. Mais je n'ai pas de temps pour livre. Je dois apprendre. Main je n'ai pas d'envie pour (???) l'education. Je veux rester et dormir
                            Parle en francais avec moi!

                            I think I should've taken french studies instead of arabic ones. I'd have my mother's translation clients in a while, and she is besieged by them.
                            "I realise I hold the key to freedom,
                            I cannot let my life be ruled by threads" The Web Frogs
                            Middle East!

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                            • #15
                              Bonjour. Comment allez-vous aujourd'hui ? Ce fil ennuyeux.
                              Eventis is the only refuge of the spammer. Join us now.
                              Long live teh paranoia smiley!

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