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  • #1

    Abducted by aliens? Call now for compensation

    2 hours, 21 minutes ago

    BERLIN (Reuters) - A German lawyer hopes to drum up more business by pursuing state compensation claims for people who believe they were abducted by aliens.

    "There's quite obviously demand for legal advice here," Jens Lorek told Reuters by telephone on Thursday. "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court."

    Lorek, a lawyer based in the eastern city of Dresden who specializes in social and labor law, said he hoped to expand his client base by taking on the unusual work.

    He has yet to win any abduction claims, but says there are plenty of potential clients, noting that extra-terrestrial watchdogs report scores of alien assaults every year.

    "These people could appeal for therapies or cures," he said.

    Lorek, 41, is pinning his hopes for success on a German law which grants kidnap victims the right to state compensation.

    Asked if he was worried he might look ridiculous by seeking justice for clients haunted by aliens, Lorek was unfazed.

    "Nobody has laughed about it up until now."
    I will.




    A UFO convention attendee dressed as an alien waves at a Police Officer in Roswell.
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead
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  • #2
    I´ll keep this in mind if I get kidnapped by aliens.
    Ef þú getur lesið þetta þá kanntu kannski íslensku. Það getur verið að þú sért að vera sniðugur eins og viss herramaður sem ég nafngreini ekki. Eða að þú sért Færeyingur eða Nojari.

    Comment

    • #3
      "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court."

      Noooooooo
      Blah

      Comment

      • #4
        What do you mean? Nothing wrong with being abducted by aliens.
        Ef þú getur lesið þetta þá kanntu kannski íslensku. Það getur verið að þú sért að vera sniðugur eins og viss herramaður sem ég nafngreini ekki. Eða að þú sért Færeyingur eða Nojari.

        Comment

        • #5
          All these conspiracy theories give us aliens a bad name

          We don't abduct that many people, and only too a small degree we do strange sexual things with them. Most of the time we do just normal medical experiments, so I don't understand the hysteria

          Blah

          Comment

          • #6
            You are quite right, aliens are a nice bunch. I have never been abducted but I´m sure it is a lovely experience. People are just trying to get into the news when they make up those stories.

            Aliens
            Ef þú getur lesið þetta þá kanntu kannski íslensku. Það getur verið að þú sért að vera sniðugur eins og viss herramaður sem ég nafngreini ekki. Eða að þú sért Færeyingur eða Nojari.

            Comment

            • #7
              You don't believe what just happened!

              Aliens abducted me and gave me an anal probe.

              And it makes me fart fire...

              Wait...

              Comment

              • #8
                effing lawyers
                CSPA

                Comment

                • #9
                  What a good little capitalist! Man, if America was a baseball team, I'd say trade Ron Popeil for that guy
                  Lysistrata: It comes down to this: Only we women can save Greece.
                  Kalonike: Only we women? Poor Greece!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    What is it called if you go williingly?

                    JM
                    Jon Miller-
                    I AM.CANADIAN
                    GENERATION 35: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Jon Miller
                      What is it called if you go williingly?

                      JM

                      or you abduct the aliens ?

                      could the gov'ment be sued by the aliens ?
                      anti steam and proud of it

                      CDO ....its OCD in alpha order like it should be

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        How about suing those who show support for aliens by dressing like them and speaking up on their behalf.

                        (This would be like legal Darwinism: two groups of crazies feeding off of each other )
                        "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." -- JFK Inaugural, 1961
                        "Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice." -- Barry Goldwater, 1964 GOP Nomination acceptance speech (not George W. Bush 40 years later...)
                        2004 Presidential Candidate
                        2008 Presidential Candidate (for what its worth)

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                        • #13
                          Lorek... sounds Vulcan. Or maybe, actually, Romulan...
                          I've allways wanted to play "Russ Meyer's Civilization"

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            "These people could appeal for therapies or cures," he said.
                            Maybe I could apply because I have NOT been abducted. I feel so left out.

                            Comment

                            • #15


                              I was so afraid, when I saw your name as posting, that you'd joined the ranks of the looney.

                              Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                              "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                              He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

                              Comment

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