Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

[Fake Boris]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/09/15/serbian_witchdoctor/

A Serbian man who went to a witchdoctor in search of a cure for premature ejaculation rather foolishly took the shaman's advice, viz: have sex with a hedgehog.

You know the rest: Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, ended up in the hospital with severe lacerations to his wedding tackle, according to Ananova. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis."

We contacted a member of the International Association of Witchdoctors this morning for a comment. He told us: "This demonstrates the dangers in consulting unlicenced witchdoctors. We advise anyone with ejaculatory disfunction to consult our list of approved practitioners."

On the matter of premature ejaculation, he added: "Mix one teaspoon of powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon. Drink one hour before attempting penetration while sitting in a pentacle formed by toad skulls. Then, when you're on the job, think about the mother-in-law and filling in tax returns." ®

Serb

[VetLegion]

I thought of posting that yesterday but was too lazy to translate

[Kuciwalker]

Serb

[Spiffor]

Serb

[pchang]

How do hedgehogs have sex?






















Very carefully

[Elok]

Unlicensed witchdoctors? How scary!

And I don't know about hedgehogs, but porcupine mating practices are actually pretty hysterical. Maybe I'll be able to find the link again, maybe not, but the process involves copious watersports for some reason.

EDIT: http://paulding.net/porcupine.html

A true classic. I've posted it here before. The scary thing is, porcupines are only the second most sexually dysfunctional mammal I've heard of (third, if you include humans). Rhino females have to actually be beaten into submission...

[SlowwHand]

I imagine then that the hedgehog had like some kind of tags showing vaccinations and all of that?

What about Serb?

[Heresson]

My handle means Hedgehog. Suddenly I fear to visit Belgrad... or Omsk.

[:) Smiley]

i wonder who had it worse... Serb or the hedgehog?

[Vesayen]

Originally posted by Elok
Unlicensed witchdoctors? How scary!

And I don't know about hedgehogs, but porcupine mating practices are actually pretty hysterical. Maybe I'll be able to find the link again, maybe not, but the process involves copious watersports for some reason.

EDIT: http://paulding.net/porcupine.html

A true classic. I've posted it here before. The scary thing is, porcupines are only the second most sexually dysfunctional mammal I've heard of (third, if you include humans). Rhino females have to actually be beaten into submission...

[Vesayen]

Originally posted by Elok
Unlicensed witchdoctors? How scary!

And I don't know about hedgehogs, but porcupine mating practices are actually pretty hysterical. Maybe I'll be able to find the link again, maybe not, but the process involves copious watersports for some reason.

EDIT: http://paulding.net/porcupine.html

A true classic. I've posted it here before. The scary thing is, porcupines are only the second most sexually dysfunctional mammal I've heard of (third, if you include humans). Rhino females have to actually be beaten into submission...

[Vesayen]

Originally posted by Elok
Unlicensed witchdoctors? How scary!

And I don't know about hedgehogs, but porcupine mating practices are actually pretty hysterical. Maybe I'll be able to find the link again, maybe not, but the process involves copious watersports for some reason.

EDIT: http://paulding.net/porcupine.html

A true classic. I've posted it here before. The scary thing is, porcupines are only the second most sexually dysfunctional mammal I've heard of (third, if you include humans). Rhino females have to actually be beaten into submission...

[Vesayen]

Originally posted by Elok
Unlicensed witchdoctors? How scary!

And I don't know about hedgehogs, but porcupine mating practices are actually pretty hysterical. Maybe I'll be able to find the link again, maybe not, but the process involves copious watersports for some reason.

EDIT: http://paulding.net/porcupine.html

A true classic. I've posted it here before. The scary thing is, porcupines are only the second most sexually dysfunctional mammal I've heard of (third, if you include humans). Rhino females have to actually be beaten into submission...

[Vesayen]

Originally posted by Elok
Unlicensed witchdoctors? How scary!

And I don't know about hedgehogs, but porcupine mating practices are actually pretty hysterical. Maybe I'll be able to find the link again, maybe not, but the process involves copious watersports for some reason.

EDIT: http://paulding.net/porcupine.html

A true classic. I've posted it here before. The scary thing is, porcupines are only the second most sexually dysfunctional mammal I've heard of (third, if you include humans). Rhino females have to actually be beaten into submission...

[Vesayen]

Originally posted by Elok
Unlicensed witchdoctors? How scary!

And I don't know about hedgehogs, but porcupine mating practices are actually pretty hysterical. Maybe I'll be able to find the link again, maybe not, but the process involves copious watersports for some reason.

EDIT: http://paulding.net/porcupine.html

A true classic. I've posted it here before. The scary thing is, porcupines are only the second most sexually dysfunctional mammal I've heard of (third, if you include humans). Rhino females have to actually be beaten into submission...

"Conclusions

Young children should be banned from the university library basements. Sometimes the most improbable science is also the truest. Never stand close to cage which contains courting porcupines."






Edit: Oh damnit multi-post... er... mod, clean up please?