Fantasy Hockey Draft Take 2

[mrboo123]

Giguere got a shutout last night (ok, vs St. Louis, but I'll take it). Kuntiz & Zherdev got 2 points each, 3 PPG total. Maybe I'll have a better year this time.

[Asher]

I had a rotten first week but things are looking up.

[Asher]

http://www.canada.com/calgaryherald/news/sports/story.html?id=27b235a5-1b63-44e7-9e99-79e52129373d

The Flames switch from hard hat to goofy tie to honour their player of the game. Belinda Stronach says she's not responsible for the breakup of boyfriend Tie Domi's marriage. Ron MacLean says he's going to "bury the hatchet" with the NHL over its new rules.

Invoking the Peggy Lee Principle, we ask: "Is that all there is" as the hockey season started last week? It's not the "new" NHL anymore, so what will the league do to stir up interest outside its dedicated demographic of Canadians and Zamboni fetishists? Here's how we'd like the NHL season to go:

October: Despite 18 goals in the month from Alexander Ovechkin, Capitals GM George McPhee is the first to officially announce his team is playing for next season. "We're looking at another top-five draft pick, then watch out," says McPhee . . . Todd Bertuzzi misses 10 days when he falls asleep on South Beach and gets a killer sunburn . . . Belinda Stronach dumps Tie Domi for Bob Probert . . . Isles owner Charles Wang inadvertently signs 49ers coach Mike Nolan to a 24-year contract. "Mike, Ted . . . he's a coach

isn't he?" asks Wang . . . with goalie Antero Niittymaki out after hip surgery, Flyers GM Bobby Clarke trades for Evgeni Nabokov from San Jose. Asked if it's a panic move, Clarke says, "Hey, I didn't give Antero hip surgery."

November: Last-place Boston tries to boost sagging fan interest by having Zdeno Chara also play power forward for the Boston Celtics. "We thought, 'Hey, he's a tall guy,' " says Bruins owner Jeremy Jacobs. "Besides, the Celtics are now picking up half that stupid contract I gave him this summer." . . . Colorado owner Stan Kroenke says: "Is it just me or do we have a lot of French guys around here?". . . Belinda Stronach dumps Bob Probert for Derek Boogard . . . Much of America suddenly realizes the NHL has been playing hockey for two months. "Did we miss anything?" asks Bud Furillo of Tulsa, Okla. . . . With goalie Evgeni Nabokov on the injured list with shingles, Flyers GM Bobby Clarke trades for Pekka Rinne from Nashville. Asked if it's a panic move, Clarke says: "Hey, I didn't give Evgeni shingles."

December: In an effort to stimulate interest in St. Louis, the slumping Blues give president John Davidson TV analyst duties, as well. "If I've got to watch these lousy games, I might as well get paid for it," says Davidson . . .Despite 17 goals this month from Alex Ovechkin for first-place Washington, Caps GM George McPhee says the team is staying the course for a top-five draft pick . . . Belinda Stronach dumps Derek Boogard for Krzyzstof Oliwa

. . . Isles GM Garth Snow is signed to 75-year contract by owner Charles Wang. "I believe in tying up talent," says Wang, who also inks stick boy Lou Dooley to a no-trade,

$5-million-a-year pact . . . To get under the salary cap, Vancouver sends rookie defenceman Luc Bourdon to the minors in between periods of games . . . Frustrated by a new wide-open offensive style in the NHL, Wild coach Jacques Lemaire quits the team to become a defence consultant to the Pentagon . . . The longest shootout in NHL history ends when Flames equipment manager Gus Thorson scores on exhausted Cam Ward of Carolina with the 73rd shot for Calgary . . . With goalie Pekka Rinne sidelined by chronic athlete's foot, Flyers GM Bobby Clarke trades for another Finn, Jussi Markkanen from Edmonton. Asked if it's a panic move, Clarke says: "Hey, I didn't give Pekka athlete's foot."

January: To force political support for a new arena, the Pittsburgh Penguins announce they'll play a home games in other sites. "But only ones that start with P," says new owner Jim Balsillie. Potential cities include Portland, Poughkeepsie, Prince Albert and Pwinnipeg . . . After blasting NHL Zamboni drivers, Ron MacLean floods the ice between periods of a Leafs game at Air Canada Centre for a Hockey Night in Canada feature. "I have a new respect for them," says MacLean after pimping his ride through the boards and into Union Station . . . Belinda Stronach dumps Krzyzstof Oliwa for Stu Grimson . . . Ducks cite unusual clause in Scott Niedermayer's contract that brother Rob receive half of everything his older brother gets. Rob subsequently goes on DL with a semi-concussion . . . With goalie Jussi Markkanen out with a bad case of Epstein-Barr syndrome, the Flyers GM trades for Ed Belfour from Florida. Asked if it's a panic move, Clarke says: "Hey, I didn't give Jussi whatever that syndrome is called."

February: Phoenix continues as surprise team in the West, leading the conference by eight points after Oleg Saprykin erupts to score 63 goals so far. Observers say Saprykin looks eerily like Wayne Gretzky. Then find out it IS Wayne Gretzky wearing Oleg's jersey . . . Chris Pronger of Anaheim is forced to deny rumours he's fathered child with Katie Couric of CBS Evening News . . . Fights have virtually disappeared from new NHL, so Atlanta Thrashers stage "old-time" brawls in between periods to attract crowds. Promotion cancelled when Eddie Shack's gammy back flairs up . . . Belinda Stronach leaves Stu Grimson for all three Hanson Brothers

. . . league to institute Brian Burke Award for best head of hair in the NHL, sponsored by Rogaine . . . In move to shake up Canucks lineup, Alain Vigneault announces the Sedin twins will now play as a defence pairing. Goalie Roberto Luongo immediately annonces he'll waive his no-trade clause . . . With goalie Ed Belfour under house arrest for unpaid parking fines, Flyers GM trades for Dominik Hasek from Detroit. Asked if it's a panic move, Clarke says, "Hey, I didn't tell Ed to park in those handicap spots at Independence Hall."

March: Rangers GM Glen Sather trades all non-Czech players at trade deadline to "increase Jaromir Jagr's comfort level." To celebrate, Marek Malik heads in a shootout goal against startled New Jersey goalie Martin Brodeur . . . Despite Alex Ovechkin's 75 goals so far and leading the Eastern Conference by 11 points, Caps GM George McPhee says the club won't deviate from its blueprint. "Top five draft choice, put it on the board," says McPhee . . . Heartbroken Tie Domi comes out of retirement to help struggling Toronto. "It's either that or watch Belinda date guys I used to fight in the NHL." . . . Dallas Stars in turmoil after Eric Lindros says he won't play again till GM Doug Armstrong is replaced by Eric's mother Bonnie . . . With Dominik Hasek out "a couple of days" with a groin strain, Flyers GM signs free agent Fred Brathwaite. Asked if it's a panic move, Clarke says, "Hey, I didn't pull Dom's groin. Er, maybe I should rephrase that . . ."

April: Toronto will not win the Stanley Cup for the 40th straight year when they miss the playoffs by 24 points. On the positive side, Tie Domi scores three goals in his comeback to win the team's MVP . . . Belinda Stronach dumps Hanson Brothers for the remaining members of the 1974 Flyers . . . After missing playoffs, Isles owner Charles Wang signs entire farm system to 1,000-year contracts. "We must protect our future," says Wang . . . Edmonton swept in first round by Nashville despite Kevin Lowe's appeal that "four is the new three." . . . Montreal captain Saku Koivu's great comeback from eye woes puts Habs into second round of playoffs. Montreal papers complain Koivu still doesn't speak French . . . Kerry Fraser forced to miss rest of playoffs because "one teeny, tiny hair" is out of place . . . With Fred Brathwaite backstopping the Flyers to four consecutive playoff shutouts over the Rangers, Flyers GM declares his goaltending woes "over." Next day, Brathwaite is injured in a nasty shower incident. Flyers are then swept in four by Washington.

May: Mayor Dave Bronconnier rejects demand from tetchy Calgary city council to have Red Mile changed to Red Kilometre. Mayor also says flaming C complies with city's anti-smoking ban . . . Flames lose to Phoenix in third round of playoffs as Rick Tocchet Night in Game 6 spurs the Coyotes. "Hey, at least we went further than Edmonton," says captain Jarome Iginla . . . The NHL announces it's awarding an expansion franchise to Chicago. "What do you mean there's already a team there?" says startled commissioner Gary Bettman

. . . Belinda Stronach leaves 1974 Flyers for entire ECHL playing roster . . . NBC ratings are up over previous year. For arena football. "Hockey still sucks," says NBC's Dick Ebersol . . . Flyers GM Bobby Clarke announces next season he will play goal for Philadelphia.

June: Paced by Alex Ovechkin's 10 goals in the final, Washington wins the Stanley Cup in six games over Phoenix. Caps GM George McPhee immediately begins trade talks to acquire a top-five draft pick, but is fired by owner Ted Leonsis. "I told him, 'Not this year', but would he listen?" said an irate Leonsis . . . Edmonton Oilers fire Craig MacTavish, replace him with Danny Maciocia . . . Last-place Islanders shock hockey by drafting Reggie Bush first overall. "It was either him or Mario Williams," says Charles Wang, who then signed himself to coach the team next year . . . Buffalo Sabres announce they'll change uniforms again next fall, going with new colours: BuffaloChicken red and Love Canal green . . . Belinda Stronach leaves entire ECHL playing roster for Don Cherry.

[Guynemer]

Wings 9, Coyotes 2?

On the Wings side, I get 3A, +3, and 2 PPA from Lidstrom, and 2G and +1 from Samuelsson. And from the Coyotes, I managed to get 1G from Comrie, who somehow managed to break even in +/-.

[notyoueither]

I'm getting stomped.

[mrboo123]

Originally posted by notyoueither
I'm getting stomped.

And I'm stomping Georgia Giants 8-0

(who are they? There not very active...)

[notyoueither]

That's Imran. He comes and goes.

[Sparrowhawk]

I see the Joncha has picked up San Jose's back up goalie (Nabakov).


Okay, as I have Toskala perhaps it is wishful thinking on my part that Nabakov will be the back up, early indications seem to be that they will split the duties but I am hopeful that Toskala will take over #1

/me

[Asher]

There is no backup in SJ -- they're rotating goalies. They're both sub-par picks for a fantasy team because they hog a whole position without playing the regular amount of games.

[joncha]

I gave up waiting on Ottawa's backup.

[Asher]

He dropped Emery right before Calgary played against him.

Despite being a homer and all, that seems pretty frickin dumb to me considering Calgary's offense right now...

[joncha]

I doubt very much that Emery will get the start.

[Asher]

Originally posted by joncha
I doubt very much that Emery will get the start.

Considering that Murray just today said Emery will get the start, I think he will.

While its not a goalie controversy yet, Ray Emery will make his first start of the season on Thursday against Calgary. Murray said Emery simply needs to play. "Martin (Gerber) has been fine," he told reporters. "He hasn't be a star...not that we expected him to be one. We now realize we can't win games the way we used to, we don't have the same kind of lineup. We have to win games, those two-goal and one-goal games."

But don't worry, you picked up Nabokov who may or may not play against the Offensively impotent Oilers.

[joncha]

Oops.

[Asher]

Darcy Tucker on Bush:

Amber: You've said that if you could meet one person, it would be President Bush. Why him?

Tucker: I would like to pick his brain. I think his political views are on the same line as my own

Gonna drop him, Tingkai?