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Published on Wednesday, August 30, 2006 by the Binghamton Press & Sun-Bulletin (New York)
Bush is in a Category by Himself
by David Rossie
News item: PRAGUE, Czech Republic -- "Pluto, beloved by some as a cosmic underdog but scorned by astronomers who considered it too dinky and distant, was unceremoniously stripped of its status as a planet Tuesday. The International Astronomical Union dramatically ... downgraded the third rock from the sun in new guidelines."
News item: San Francisco--George Bush, beloved by some as just plain folks, but scorned by elitists who consider him too shallow and unstatesmanlike, was unceremoniously reduced in rank Wednesday by the National Association of Presidential Scholars.
After years of debate concerning Bush's qualifications for the job, including some doubt about whether he was actually elected in 2000, the NAPS, in what many members hailed as "a triumph of realism over sentiment," voted to demote Bush from president to "dwarf president."
Wednesday's outcome completed a stunning five-year turnaround during which the 43rd president went from being hailed as the new Churchill, with a 90 percent approval rating, to the subject of debate among his own party members as to whether he is stupid or simply distracted. His approval ratings, meanwhile, have descended into the middle-30s and his dwindling support concentrated mainly among evangelicals who accept his contention that he is God's messenger boy.
Under new guidelines established by NAPS, a politician must meet three criteria in order to be classified as a full-blown president.
He or she must understand and observe the general premise set forth in the Constitution that the government of the United States is divided into three separate but equal branches: executive, legislative and judicial.
He or she must refrain from lying to the press and public at least 10 percent of the time he or she holds office. Lying to get into office will still be permitted.
He or she must be able to read a compound sentence without butchering it.
Although he managed to get re-elected in 2004, NAPS officials said it has been clear almost from the start that Bush stood apart from previous presidents. Not only is he less interested in the world around him than any of his predecessors, with the possible exception of Warren G. Harding, he cannot correctly identify 90 percent of those places, and he frequently disappears from view for days or weeks at a time, especially during the month of August.
Bush's downgrading to dwarf status was not greeted favorably in all quarters.
"This is so politically sloppy and internally inconsistent that it is embarrassing," Bush's mother, Barbara, wrote in an email to Dr. Arthur Cuttenrhun, president of NAPS.
Bush's father, the 41st president, declined comment.
The NAPS decision immediately touched off a lively debate among presidential scholars nationwide as to whether Bush's reclassification should simply lump him among the men regarded as the worst presidents in the nation's history -- James Polk, Andrew Johnson, James Buchanan -- or whether a new category will have to be created out of deference to those three and Harding.
Meanwhile, a parallel debate has arisen over what if any effect Bush's reclassification will have on Vice President Dick Cheney.
When the question was put to Dr. Cuttenrhun, he said the matter has yet to be taken up by the full NAPS body for deliberation.
"As of now," Dr. Cuttenrhun said, "Vice President Cheney will remain a black hole."
David Rossie is associate editor.
© 2006 Binghamton Press & Sun-Bulletin
Bush is in a Category by Himself
by David Rossie
News item: PRAGUE, Czech Republic -- "Pluto, beloved by some as a cosmic underdog but scorned by astronomers who considered it too dinky and distant, was unceremoniously stripped of its status as a planet Tuesday. The International Astronomical Union dramatically ... downgraded the third rock from the sun in new guidelines."
News item: San Francisco--George Bush, beloved by some as just plain folks, but scorned by elitists who consider him too shallow and unstatesmanlike, was unceremoniously reduced in rank Wednesday by the National Association of Presidential Scholars.
After years of debate concerning Bush's qualifications for the job, including some doubt about whether he was actually elected in 2000, the NAPS, in what many members hailed as "a triumph of realism over sentiment," voted to demote Bush from president to "dwarf president."
Wednesday's outcome completed a stunning five-year turnaround during which the 43rd president went from being hailed as the new Churchill, with a 90 percent approval rating, to the subject of debate among his own party members as to whether he is stupid or simply distracted. His approval ratings, meanwhile, have descended into the middle-30s and his dwindling support concentrated mainly among evangelicals who accept his contention that he is God's messenger boy.
Under new guidelines established by NAPS, a politician must meet three criteria in order to be classified as a full-blown president.
He or she must understand and observe the general premise set forth in the Constitution that the government of the United States is divided into three separate but equal branches: executive, legislative and judicial.
He or she must refrain from lying to the press and public at least 10 percent of the time he or she holds office. Lying to get into office will still be permitted.
He or she must be able to read a compound sentence without butchering it.
Although he managed to get re-elected in 2004, NAPS officials said it has been clear almost from the start that Bush stood apart from previous presidents. Not only is he less interested in the world around him than any of his predecessors, with the possible exception of Warren G. Harding, he cannot correctly identify 90 percent of those places, and he frequently disappears from view for days or weeks at a time, especially during the month of August.
Bush's downgrading to dwarf status was not greeted favorably in all quarters.
"This is so politically sloppy and internally inconsistent that it is embarrassing," Bush's mother, Barbara, wrote in an email to Dr. Arthur Cuttenrhun, president of NAPS.
Bush's father, the 41st president, declined comment.
The NAPS decision immediately touched off a lively debate among presidential scholars nationwide as to whether Bush's reclassification should simply lump him among the men regarded as the worst presidents in the nation's history -- James Polk, Andrew Johnson, James Buchanan -- or whether a new category will have to be created out of deference to those three and Harding.
Meanwhile, a parallel debate has arisen over what if any effect Bush's reclassification will have on Vice President Dick Cheney.
When the question was put to Dr. Cuttenrhun, he said the matter has yet to be taken up by the full NAPS body for deliberation.
"As of now," Dr. Cuttenrhun said, "Vice President Cheney will remain a black hole."
David Rossie is associate editor.
© 2006 Binghamton Press & Sun-Bulletin
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