Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Best army memories

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    I remember a similar exhausted field training excercise. Our platoon was to make a night assault on an enemy position. We were seperated into squads and then the squad leaders told us to sit tight while they got their orders from the platoon leader. My squad waited quietly, all of us trying to stay awake but enjoying the rest and quiet.

    Our squad leader was gone for a long time, and we could hear some of the other squads moving out toward their objective. Still no sign of our squad leader. I considered taking the initiative and trying to find our dear leader, but I was really tired and it was only an FTX. Let that idiot find us himself! No one else seemed to be willing to get up from our comfy spot either. No one spoke.

    Then suddenly all hell breaks loose from over the ridge. The assault is under way! Still no sign of our dear leader. A lot of time goes by. I slide in and out of consciousness as the firing dies down and the rest of the platoon starts to get organized and starts back toward us. I get the squad on their feet as the rest of the platoon approaches and we agree to pretend like we made the assault and just melt in with the rest. As we are doing so our squad leader shows up looking scared. I give him a one eye-brow salute and he knows to keep quiet.

    No one besides the members of the squad ever find out that we didn't participate in the assault. Later on I talked to our squad leader. He had turned the wrong way on way back from talking to the platoon leader, and had only got reoriented when the firing broke out, at which point he ran his ass off cross country to get back. He was very relieved to find us first, before anyone else noticed that he wasn't with his squad.
    He's got the Midas touch.
    But he touched it too much!
    Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

    Comment


    • #17
      ari-rahikkala, good guess, but not quite Nothing wrong with that though, kelaperseet liikkuu aina juosten, I heard often someone shouting..


      Sikander, ... well at least you made some 'moves'. Pretty nice save there.. it's difficult though, all these exercises with lots of other people you don't know and never will even see, lots of cooperation and stuff, it gets quite complicated at some point, impressively complicated since it's a simple thing you'd think... so yeah... you saved your ass and you saved your leaders ass. double ..

      You know he was feeling stupid for sure We had this one jerk who couldn't navigate well (it became obvious after that), and he took his privates for appx 8 km trip, only doing a big circle. YES, a BIG CIRCLE. They actually came where they started from, and this is a true story, oh man did we think this dude is a f'ing idiot.. and he was one of those idiots that even look idiots, you know, their gear is just always somehow .. not quite finished, something is always hanging and stuff and it looks uncomfortable, the weapon is hanging weirdly, helmet is just not quite right in the head etc.. usually these people develop snot first too and they are just miserable people when it comes to these things

      Everyone makes mistakes for sure and navigating especially in dark is not that easy in big area with stuff happening, it's definitely something you need to pay attention into and you still can make mistakes.. but this dude was an idiot. Pure and simple, classic comedy idiot. You know how his privates felt when they saw us again? They felt like '****.. is this dude our leader?'.. you know, lost ALL respect and trust that very day and never gained it back for a very good reason. Would you trust and follow that man when you need to trust someone and are afraid of dying? HELL NO!!
      In da butt.
      "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
      THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
      "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by Pekka
        ari-rahikkala, good guess, but not quite Nothing wrong with that though, kelaperseet liikkuu aina juosten, I heard often someone shouting..
        Well, you were laying cable, so you were in a troop that handles communications. You also got leader training and got to handle the morttis on their first day in the army, so you were in AUK. If you weren't in Viesti-AUK, that means you weren't in a signal battalion, but... some other branch that handles communications, and AFAICT, that means artillery.

        I was, incidentally, in the artillery's communications. And I took AUK, too. However, instead of a Great Military Leader, I became a Toimisto-AU instead . That was a terrible six months, incredibly boring and frustrating.. at least basic training and AUK itself were sometimes somewhat entertaining.

        Not to say nothing interesting happened during my term in teh office. For instance, once there were three people - I, a CE driver who was a farmer from Kälviä, and a C driver who was some sort of a student of law (we think) from Oulu, emptying out the leftovers from those big cylindric metal containers (lämpöastiat) that you use to carry food around in the forest. Now the smell at the mill at the Muonituskeskus where you empty them in is... well, somewhat stale, and definitely unpleasant, but I've smelled many worse things in my life. The farmer and I handled it just fine... Mr. Porn Star, aka the lawstudent, threw up. We couldn't believe it. If you can't deal with the *smell* *of* *food* how are you supposed to handle the battlefield?
        This is Shireroth, and Giant Squid will brutally murder me if I ever remove this link from my signature | In the end it won't be love that saves us, it will be mathematics | So many people have this concept of God the Avenger. I see God as the ultimate sense of humor -- SlowwHand

        Comment


        • #19
          Yes, Viet Nam. Most of the stories are not funny, not particularly unique, and get told by those who heard about them, not those who participated. I was medevaced out shortly into my tour. Injuries rather minor considering the circumstances (jeep hit a mine). Still in the tension in the "forest" (looked like jungle to me, but not to the locals), we all had to laugh at two guys more scared of bugs than real live bullets.
          No matter where you go, there you are. - Buckaroo Banzai
          "I played it [Civilization] for three months and then realised I hadn't done any work. In the end, I had to delete all the saved files and smash the CD." Iain Banks, author

          Comment


          • #20
            Joy!

            I'll be performing some good old occupation by the beginning of september!

            1 hill, 1 shortened M-16 assault rifle, 1 bulletproof vest, 1 helmet, 1 ammunition and supply vest, 6 clips, 1 bag of clothes, 1 flashlight, 2 water flasks. 10 packs of cigarettes, 20 books.

            Good times
            urgh.NSFW

            Comment


            • #21
              Az, doing his duty for God and country! Take care out there.
              No matter where you go, there you are. - Buckaroo Banzai
              "I played it [Civilization] for three months and then realised I hadn't done any work. In the end, I had to delete all the saved files and smash the CD." Iain Banks, author

              Comment


              • #22
                Blaupanzer, yeah well, figures most of them are not stories to be shared or fun. However, for sharing.

                Az, stay safe!!! You know you can call back up and suzie q's will be right down there to do some collateral damage!

                Ari Rahikkala, well, at least where I was, everybody learned to lay down cable. It was one of them basic things to know how to do .... and no, I wasn't in the artillery either . Don't let the cable fool you. For example, it's not something I'd do most likely. Then agian most likely if kaka hit the fan, I might have to do at some point when stuff just stops working.
                In da butt.
                "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
                THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
                "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Well, this one time in My Lai......
                  The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
                    Well, this one time in My Lai......
                    ...this is no sh!t...
                    He's got the Midas touch.
                    But he touched it too much!
                    Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Basic Training probably has the most memories for me. It was the single most hilarious part of my life. There was this guy from New Mexico by the name of Gomez who had a really high nasal voice not unlike Peter Lorie. Some of the guys called him "the desert lizard". He was a nice kid, but not the brightest guy.

                      One day at our morning formation....

                      Drill Sgt: The following personnel are assigned to KP today. Sound off when I call your names...Franklin!

                      Franklin: Here Sgt!

                      Drill Sgt: Gomez!

                      Gomez:Heeere Sargeeeant!

                      (a few giggles from the troops break out)

                      Drill Sgt: Lauder!

                      Before Lauder can answer...

                      Gomez: Heeere Sargeeeant!

                      The whole company loses it, including every drill sgt. for about a minute.
                      He's got the Midas touch.
                      But he touched it too much!
                      Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Sikander, I can visualize that situation perfectly.. I see this Gomez guy having the voice of the Doofos in Scary Movie ..... hahahahaha..

                        I used to be the jerk who borderline talked very loud and clear to everyone in formation about stuff that didn't matter. The point was to make it a bit funny, but remain absolute stone face. Military humor. Not everyone likes it but most thinks it's great when you're in there. I mean, making everyone having a stroke for trying to hold laughing was easy.

                        Rule #1, never laugh yourself. Rule #2, take the smallest thing you can find and complain about it. Make it the most important thing in the world, army style. Rule #3, keep them guessing if you are serious or not. Sadistic, yes, but makes the actual humor even better, if you have gained some authority first.

                        I used to complain about sperm in the showers, even though there weren't any, but I took that one up pretty often. THe point was the shower rooms needs to be clean and if you masturbate, you better clean it up or we all get some kind of infections. Of course I didn't use the word sperm but I indicated I meant sperm.

                        It got to a point where many thought there was a dirty meat beater who leaves the evidence there.. but there never was, I just made it up and gave them **** for it anyways .

                        So I usually started 'So I was inspecting the shower rooms...' and there always was few giggles already. Of course this was always during the night roll call, everyone wearing their army pajamas and slippers. Sexy stuff.

                        I threatened to shoot the sperm man in the head if he ever gets caught.

                        oh well, just came to my mind.
                        In da butt.
                        "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
                        THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
                        "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          I enjoyed the Disco Era while stationed in Crailsheim West germany mid-late 1970's


                          Food was excellent (Greek and Deutche alike) and back then I tried to drink Ouzo dry, love the tast of Black Licorice.

                          That was until I found out one of those 100 papers you sign when you get to USAREUR was one with OFFLIMITS on it, Ouzo because it had an Opium Base to it.

                          Yup, 40 hours of CDAAC and a promise to never get wasted again

                          Of course the Dunkel Beir was awesome

                          Hi, I'm RAH and I'm a Benaholic.-rah

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            @ The Grunebrau Crailsheim West Germany (me in middle) Christmas 1978
                            Attached Files
                            Hi, I'm RAH and I'm a Benaholic.-rah

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Army Troll circa 1977 Fort McLellan Alabama
                              Attached Files
                              Hi, I'm RAH and I'm a Benaholic.-rah

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Grandpa, in that first pic, you have that jeffrey dahmer look... scary!
                                In da butt.
                                "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
                                THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
                                "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X