Marriage, is it worth it?

[Flip McWho]

Aye, I don't have blind faith in the media.

Though apparently (according to this: http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3759796a11,00.html) NZer's are returning to traditional values and becoming more conservative cause gays and hookers are destroying our moral fabric.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Now tuber did ask to be married four years ago and i have been acting as such for 5 years now with no paper. i dont think a piece of paper will make much difference for us since we havent had it before. Its jsut a feeling you get that u can say hey im gonna keep this person for the rest of my life. I personnaly do not need a piece of paper to tell me i love him and want to stay with him. But if that is what makes him happy i would be more then wiling to do it. I guess for this woman(me) it isnt that necesary.

[CerberusIV]

After 16 years it's a little late for us to bother getting married.

Interestingly the Irish government is looking likely to introduce a civil union arrangement within a couple of years. To avoid any gay marriage controversy (this is, at least in theory, a catholic country) they will probably make it available to heterosexual couples as well as gays. If they do we will sign up - mainly for the property and inheritance rights.

[Provost Harrison]

Originally posted by Flip McWho
Aye, I don't have blind faith in the media.

Though apparently (according to this: http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3759796a11,00.html) NZer's are returning to traditional values and becoming more conservative cause gays and hookers are destroying our moral fabric.

Well you want to get some wipe-clean moral fabric rather than stuff that stains

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

It's my 10th wedding anniversary today.

It works for me, and I couldn't really give a rat's arse about anyone else.

[Ecthy]

Laz, I think the question is, do you feel your relationship would be the same without society's / the state's approval?

[Arrian]

I got married last September. Nothing has really changed. My wife and I were already essentially married, having been together for years, living together, etc.

We got married, ultimately, for two basic reasons:

1) Legal recognition of what was already true.
2) Family. Families like weddings. Ours was very simple (we wrote the service ourselves, had a JP perform it, and it took roughly 7 minutes, and there was no silly God stuff ).

It was painless. Actually, I rather enjoyed it. Our families loved it, and our friends had a great time.

But there is no real change in our relationship (the most tangible thing being that I had to plan something for our 1st anniversary ).

-Arrian

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Originally posted by Ecthy
Laz, I think the question is, do you feel your relationship would be the same without society's / the state's approval?

If the state (or society) has ever approved of me I'm seriously going to have to re-think my lifestyle.

[Aabraxan]

I had my 11th wedding anniversary in June. I've heard before that a piece of paper won't make one person love another any more, or won't make a person any more committed to the relationship than they would otherwise be.

I'd say those are partly true. True, getting married (or entering a civil union, as the case may be) won't make one person love the other any more than they otherwise would. As far as commitment, well, legally, you are more committed after marriage. That piece of paper will not, however, make anyone want to stay in the relationship. In other words, you may not be more dedicated to the relationship, but you are more committed. (As the old joke goes, if you want to know the difference between dedication and commitment, look at a ham and egg breakfast. The chicken is dedicated; the pig is committed.)

I think that marriage is fundamentally different from other types of relationships, such as dating or living together. I think that many people who are dating or living together still have it in the back of their minds that, if push comes to shove, they can still be packed and gone by Monday. Once you say the "I dos," getting out of the relationship becomes a lot more complicated, involves a lot more people, a lot more expense and requires a court order.

For some people, getting married really doesn't make any difference in their lives. For me, it was a good thing, and I'd do it again in a minute. So to answer the question in the thread title, yes, it was worth it for me.

Mr. & Mrs. Tuberski, I don't want to meddle here, but I assume you've heard the phrase "common law marriage?" You two might be closer being married than you think.

[Ecthy]

Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
If the state (or society) has ever approved of me I'm seriously going to have to re-think my lifestyle.

Then why being married at all? How big are the tax and legal benefits?

[Kontiki]

Originally posted by Arrian
I got married last September. Nothing has really changed. My wife and I were already essentially married, having been together for years, living together, etc.

We got married, ultimately, for two basic reasons:

1) Legal recognition of what was already true.
2) Family. Families like weddings. Ours was very simple (we wrote the service ourselves, had a JP perform it, and it took roughly 7 minutes, and there was no silly God stuff ).

It was painless. Actually, I rather enjoyed it. Our families loved it, and our friends had a great time.

But there is no real change in our relationship (the most tangible thing being that I had to plan something for our 1st anniversary ).

-Arrian

This pretty much covers it for me as well, although I'd add a third reason, which is pretty much what che said: despite not being religious at all, it still means something to us due to the socialization factor. I'd also echo alot of what Aabraxan said.

[Zkribbler]

It was painless. Actually, I rather enjoyed it. Our families loved it, and our friends had a great time.

But there is no real change in our relationship (the most tangible thing being that I had to plan something for our 1st anniversary ).

Kontiki has hit on one of the BIG reasons for getting married: Presents!!

[Kuciwalker]

Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
If the state (or society) has ever approved of me I'm seriously going to have to re-think my lifestyle.

"I wouldn't want to join any club that would accept me as a member."

[Arrian]

You mean (for the most part) a bunch of **** I didn't need? Meh.

Well, the honeymoon (paid for by my parents, bless 'em) wasn't necessary, but it sure was fun! New Zealand for three weeks... mmm...

-Arrian

[RedFred]

Reasons I am getting married on Saturday:
1) Societial pressures or otherwise, we both feel that this will help show our love and commitment for each other.
2) Weddings are one of the few times in your life that all the people that matter to you assemble at one place.
3) Various legal and financial and 'group benefits' benefits.
4) Expectations from relatives.

I'd tell you more but I have to get some stuff ready for today's Mehendi ceremony.

Was Flip's statistic that married people live longer? Maybe the truth is it just seems like they live longer.