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Books which have never been written

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  • Books which have never been written

    ...or at least I have never heard of them:

    Historical fiction dealing with the international political maneuvering during the American Civil War. For years that war hung in the balance; England waivered on coming in on the side of the Confederacy; and a struggle rages between British industrialists who's factories were closed down because of lack of cotton and British moralists who didn't want Britain to fight for slavery.

    Historical fiction dealing with the Barbary Wars--what potential. Americans kidnapped off ships and sold into slavery. While the Brits, French and Papal states kowtow to the pirates, the plucky newborn republic of the U.S.A. sends its tiny fleet to do battle with them. Disaster strikes when the U.S.S. Philadephia -- the largest warship in the Mediterrean -- runs aground under the guns of the pirate's fortress, and its crew taking captive and tortured. Then the pirates set out to repair and refloat the Philadelphia.

    What books have you been looking for

  • #2
    Realistic Fiction dealing with nymphomaniatic mimes who train dogs to be policemen in Japan - what? it could happen, and the book would be a best seller I'm sure. Imagine, you're a mime, and you crave sex like nobodies buisness... and. you train dogs! A mime training dogs!!! It's feakin' genius!!
    Monkey!!!

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    • #3
      Dr. Strangelove: Or, How I Learned to Stop BSODing and Love the Mac, by Dave Milford, acclaimed author of "Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve: How Gay Marriage Threatens the Civilized World".

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      • #4
        Realistic Fiction dealing with nymphomaniatic mimes who train dogs to be policemen in Japan - what? it could happen, and the book would be a best seller I'm sure. Imagine, you're a mime, and you crave sex like nobodies buisness... and. you train dogs! A mime training dogs!!! It's feakin' genius!!


        Japanese dogs don't bark much either, which only adds to the genius of the idea.
        KH FOR OWNER!
        ASHER FOR CEO!!
        GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

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        • #5
          You seem to have a definition of the word "genius" of which I have heretofore been unaware.

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          • #6
            I Will , Speak of , India , No More , Forever : A Collection of , Threads and , Short ,, Stories That Have , Nothing , To Do With India Whatsoever , . by aneeshm , et al. , , , , , ,, , ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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            • #7
              The Definition of Genius by Japher - this would be a 400+ page book written in crayon, charcoal, and finger paints, in which I explain what is genius... It'll mostly be pictures, drawn by yours truly, of the stage sets for when the book about dog training horny mimes is turned into a dutch opera...
              Monkey!!!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Verto
                I Will , Speak of , India , No More , Forever : A Collection of , Threads and , Short ,, Stories That Have , Nothing , To Do With India Whatsoever , . by aneeshm , et al. , , , , , ,, , ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
                Or, even better...

                The Origins of Hindu Civilisation: Now You Mother****ers Will Have To Listen When I Bash Muslims by aneeshm the indian guy
                KH FOR OWNER!
                ASHER FOR CEO!!
                GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

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                • #9
                  This seemed like such a wonderful idea when I thought of it.

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                  • #10
                    The Future of Robotics by Cy Borg and Anne Droid.
                    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Zkribbler
                      This seemed like such a wonderful idea when I thought of it.
                      "Serious Discusion versus Verbal Flatus" by Zkribbler
                      An analysis of how serious discusions on the Apolyton Off-topic forum descend into childish bickering.

                      Oops, I credited the wrong author.
                      There's no game in The Sims. It's not a game. It's like watching a tank of goldfishes and feed them occasionally. - Urban Ranger

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                      • #12
                        No they don't! Sometimes we stay serious!
                        Monkey!!!

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                        • #13
                          Un unh. They never stay serious, you loser!

                          Books Which Have Never Been Written:

                          Mine, unfortunately.
                          Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                          "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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                          • #14
                            The dark irony of this situation is that I hang around Poly because of my conviction that the posters here are so intelligent.

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                            • #15
                              Ditto
                              "I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
                              "You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:

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