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  • Who Would You Sue?

    Get NBA news, scores, stats, standings & more for your favorite teams and players! All on FoxSports.com.


    A Portland, Ore. man has filed a lawsuit for $832 million, saying he is tired of being mistaken for Michael Jordan, according to KGW-TV.

    The television station's Web site says Allen Heckard filed the suit against His Airness and Nike founder Phil Knight on June 29 in county court, claiming to have been mistaken for the basketball legend nearly every day for the past 15 years.

    And he's tired of it.

    "I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael and it makes it very uncomfortable for me," Heckard reportedly said.

    Heckard apparently is suing Jordan for defamation and permanent injury, emotional pain and suffering. He is suing Knight for defamation and permanent injury for promoting Jordan and making him one of the world's most famous athletes.

    Heckard, who stands slightly taller than 6 feet, says many people miss the fact that he is roughly six inches shorter than Jordan.

    But Heckard bears a physical resemblance to Jordan because he has a shaved head, an earring in his left ear, and is in good physical shape — from playing basketball.

    "Even when I go to the gym I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan)," Heckard said.

    Wouldn't most people consider that a compliment?

    "Yes, don't get me wrong it's definitely a positive thing, because Michael, like I say is one of the best ball players that I've known to play the game. But then again, that's Michael and I'm me. So I want to be recognized as me just like Michael's being recognized as Michael."

    The television station apparently caught Heckard wearing blue Air Jordan tennis shoes.

    Is Heckard trying to look like Jordan?

    No.

    "They're very comfortable shoes to play ball in," said Heckard. "I play a lot of basketball and any other shoes I try to play in tend to hurt the bottom of my feet."

    What made Heckard decide to file suit against Jordan and Knight for $416 million each?

    "Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and then I turn around and I figure that's what it all boils down to."
    I'd sue Robin Williams. I look like him, and people are always asking me where Mindy is.

    It's real annoying.
    Monkey!!!

  • #2
    I'd sue God
    Learn to overcome the crass demands of flesh and bone, for they warp the matrix through which we perceive the world. Extend your awareness outward, beyond the self of body, to embrace the self of group and the self of humanity. The goals of the group and the greater race are transcendant, and to embrace them is to acheive enlightenment.

    Comment


    • #3
      yeah, seeing as he has no attornies you'd probably win
      Monkey!!!

      Comment


      • #4
        I would pretend I was Loinburger and sue the wrong person.

        It appears old Fisty McFecal's fistcuffs of doom were brought down on the wrong target.
        Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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        • #5
          I'd sue Ben Franklin. All the bullies in elementary school used to call me that because my first name is Ben. I'd also sue Human Calculator, whoever he is.
          Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
          "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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          • #6
            I'd sue Ming. I don't know what for, but something.
            Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
            "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
            He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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            • #7
              I would sue Allen Heckard for greed, and if he actually wins the claim, even if it was a symbolic dollar, I would sue the american justice system for severe moronity.
              With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

              Steven Weinberg

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              • #8
                I'd sue SlowwHand for harassing Ming.
                No matter where you go, there you are. - Buckaroo Banzai
                "I played it [Civilization] for three months and then realised I hadn't done any work. In the end, I had to delete all the saved files and smash the CD." Iain Banks, author

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Blaupanzer
                  I'd sue SlowwHand for harassing Ming.
                  You forgot the apple, or was it send by PM ?
                  With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

                  Steven Weinberg

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                  • #10
                    HEY!
                    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      This guy is an idiot.

                      This suit is going nowhere, and he'll end up owing money.

                      He should (1) move to some big city where Michaal Jordan is known to hang out but who isn't there currently; (2) dress up in expensive clothing; check into a fine hotel under the name Michael Jordan; (3) sign a lucative endorsement deal using the name Michael Jordan, $ up front; (4) take the money and flee the country.

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                      • #12
                        I should sue too. I'm always mistaken for a porn star.
                        "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." -- JFK Inaugural, 1961
                        "Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice." -- Barry Goldwater, 1964 GOP Nomination acceptance speech (not George W. Bush 40 years later...)
                        2004 Presidential Candidate
                        2008 Presidential Candidate (for what its worth)

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Japher
                          yeah, seeing as he has no attornies you'd probably win
                          Nah more the fact if everything happens because of Gods "mysterious ways" then how can he possibly deny being an accomplice to physically and emotionally hurting me without refuting his claim to omnipotence
                          Learn to overcome the crass demands of flesh and bone, for they warp the matrix through which we perceive the world. Extend your awareness outward, beyond the self of body, to embrace the self of group and the self of humanity. The goals of the group and the greater race are transcendant, and to embrace them is to acheive enlightenment.

                          Comment

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