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Ah yes. The life in big corporation. Life is great. Few things I've noticed.
First of all, you don't know everyone, so everyone won't know you. But there's a lot of people so you'll be passing hundreds of people every day. You say 'Hi' to people you know, 'Mhmmh' people who you think you know, nod the people who seems to know you and then there is the uncomfortable few people who you don't know, but who just happens to pass you many times a day. You don't know what they do and they don't know you. But you seem to be passing them few times a day somewhere. What you do is you try to avoid the uncomfortable situation by looking somewhere else as long as possible, but avoid being a dick and at the last second look at the person and mumble something. They feel the same way about you. The negative side is, you just can't avoid them. They have the same route as you do.
Then there are the people who do you think are important, and you say hi to them because you don't want to .. not say. Then it turns out they are lower than carbage but they also think you're some high up so .. the let down is mutual. You've been wasting your Hi's to some jerks.
Then there are the people who you've avoided, and then it turns out they are important. ANd now you are properly introduced. You are supposed to say Hi like it's your first time you've met. But you both know you ****ed up. Unless you take charge now by bonding with sports or something else, you will think the other one 'is an *******' for the rest of your careers.
But there are far worse things than the greeting principles. The unwritten rules of other things, such as farting. If you're walking, chances are there are few people behind you. If you fart now, they can totally smell it. Not only do you have to not fart, you also have to keep walking, big corporation style (fast). There comes a point when even you're not sure of yourself - can you hold or not? You squeeze your cheeks together as if your life depended on it, and try to look as normal as possible. You're an idiot.
But the true challenge comes if you're a smoker. THe smoking place rules are unwritten also, but gets all tangled up and difficult if you all have positions. If you have someone higher than you there, you think you need to say something. But not engage in a chat. Just to acknowledge the presence.
If someone lower in ranks than you, you can ignore them. But if it's your own employee, it gets tough. You're suppose to let the employee chat you up, but not make it too personal or long. There are others watching. You can't face any accusations of favouring someone. But it's OK, because the one smoking with you is the psycho. You know, the guy who seems a bit disturbed. It's OK, he always feels uncomfortable so this is not out of the norm for him.
But then comes the 'social slut', who is just too happy and wants to tell all about what happened yesterday. You want to look like you're semi-interested. Meaning you can't blow them away, but you can't be like 'ohh that's interesting, I want to know more', because they might ask you out, or think they can do that every time you see them.
Then there are the guards. The losers, who can't wait to bust you for something you didn't do. You say Hi to them once, and they look you as if you were guilty of something. These losers can't be dealt with. If they take the job too seriously, just ignore them. Make them feel low like they prolly are in their lives. Make sure they realize you make at least triple salary and you've just started. Don't make their lives difficult there, but just don't help them either. Make sure they feel outsiders. They deserve it. Except the old guy. He's great and you engage into long conversations and he tells you funny stories what happened 10 years ago with some perverts in the company. And what the boss did when he was younger. This guy is valuable. NOw you can do what you want with the punk guards, and he'll always take your side or at least tries to please you by putting thme in order, hopefully it was your fault.
Eating rules are also very strict. If you are properly introduced to someone in your organization and you're walking with your tray, and he/she sits alone as well.. you can either try to see if you can sit with them or go to the exact opposite corner. There are no betweens. If you sit with them, you better have some great stories or you ****ed up majorly. If the person doesn't look you in the eyes, you can not ask 'can I sit here?'. It's an automatic NO. Who do you think you are, it's lunch break, you think even though you work with them and talk crap, that you are entitled to that personal space? If you eat with them, or better yet if you call them and go get a cup of coffee during work more than once, you're practically buddies. Now you can prolly fart too.
There are tons of other rules as well. Just can't be bothered right now.
First of all, you don't know everyone, so everyone won't know you. But there's a lot of people so you'll be passing hundreds of people every day. You say 'Hi' to people you know, 'Mhmmh' people who you think you know, nod the people who seems to know you and then there is the uncomfortable few people who you don't know, but who just happens to pass you many times a day. You don't know what they do and they don't know you. But you seem to be passing them few times a day somewhere. What you do is you try to avoid the uncomfortable situation by looking somewhere else as long as possible, but avoid being a dick and at the last second look at the person and mumble something. They feel the same way about you. The negative side is, you just can't avoid them. They have the same route as you do.
Then there are the people who do you think are important, and you say hi to them because you don't want to .. not say. Then it turns out they are lower than carbage but they also think you're some high up so .. the let down is mutual. You've been wasting your Hi's to some jerks.
Then there are the people who you've avoided, and then it turns out they are important. ANd now you are properly introduced. You are supposed to say Hi like it's your first time you've met. But you both know you ****ed up. Unless you take charge now by bonding with sports or something else, you will think the other one 'is an *******' for the rest of your careers.
But there are far worse things than the greeting principles. The unwritten rules of other things, such as farting. If you're walking, chances are there are few people behind you. If you fart now, they can totally smell it. Not only do you have to not fart, you also have to keep walking, big corporation style (fast). There comes a point when even you're not sure of yourself - can you hold or not? You squeeze your cheeks together as if your life depended on it, and try to look as normal as possible. You're an idiot.
But the true challenge comes if you're a smoker. THe smoking place rules are unwritten also, but gets all tangled up and difficult if you all have positions. If you have someone higher than you there, you think you need to say something. But not engage in a chat. Just to acknowledge the presence.
If someone lower in ranks than you, you can ignore them. But if it's your own employee, it gets tough. You're suppose to let the employee chat you up, but not make it too personal or long. There are others watching. You can't face any accusations of favouring someone. But it's OK, because the one smoking with you is the psycho. You know, the guy who seems a bit disturbed. It's OK, he always feels uncomfortable so this is not out of the norm for him.
But then comes the 'social slut', who is just too happy and wants to tell all about what happened yesterday. You want to look like you're semi-interested. Meaning you can't blow them away, but you can't be like 'ohh that's interesting, I want to know more', because they might ask you out, or think they can do that every time you see them.
Then there are the guards. The losers, who can't wait to bust you for something you didn't do. You say Hi to them once, and they look you as if you were guilty of something. These losers can't be dealt with. If they take the job too seriously, just ignore them. Make them feel low like they prolly are in their lives. Make sure they realize you make at least triple salary and you've just started. Don't make their lives difficult there, but just don't help them either. Make sure they feel outsiders. They deserve it. Except the old guy. He's great and you engage into long conversations and he tells you funny stories what happened 10 years ago with some perverts in the company. And what the boss did when he was younger. This guy is valuable. NOw you can do what you want with the punk guards, and he'll always take your side or at least tries to please you by putting thme in order, hopefully it was your fault.
Eating rules are also very strict. If you are properly introduced to someone in your organization and you're walking with your tray, and he/she sits alone as well.. you can either try to see if you can sit with them or go to the exact opposite corner. There are no betweens. If you sit with them, you better have some great stories or you ****ed up majorly. If the person doesn't look you in the eyes, you can not ask 'can I sit here?'. It's an automatic NO. Who do you think you are, it's lunch break, you think even though you work with them and talk crap, that you are entitled to that personal space? If you eat with them, or better yet if you call them and go get a cup of coffee during work more than once, you're practically buddies. Now you can prolly fart too.
There are tons of other rules as well. Just can't be bothered right now.
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