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**Jon Miller** · June 4, 2006, 22:15

All those from this year? Impressive.

JM

**Dinner** · June 4, 2006, 22:25

Pure genius.

**mactbone** · June 4, 2006, 22:34

Re: Rugby Union Super 14 Quotes of the year

This is full of inaccuracies.

"Nobody in Rugbyshould be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Scott Hamilton

This was Joe Theeeeeeesman talking about Football

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." - Andy Ellis on University

This is from a senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." - Robbie deans

This is from Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach and they were said at seperate times.

Robby Deans talking about Caleb Ralph"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Robbie, I don't know and I don't care.'

This is from Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player.

I would assume most of the rest aren't really what they say they are.

**Alexander's Horse** · June 4, 2006, 22:57

ah - urban myth - but good all the same

**Frozzy** · June 5, 2006, 04:07

"That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical." (Dan Carter)

Murray Walker rip off.

**Alexander's Horse** · June 5, 2006, 04:52

Seems like particular people have been targeted

**finbar** · June 5, 2006, 04:55

Mainly Kiwis. Of course.

Ciao Horse. I should be back for some Civ very very soon. Hopefully!

**Bill3000** · June 5, 2006, 05:00

Urban legends make me cry IRL.

**Alexander's Horse** · June 5, 2006, 05:08

Originally posted by finbar
Mainly Kiwis. Of course.

Ciao Horse. I should be back for some Civ very very soon. Hopefully!

Hey fin. Miss you. I'm hoping to be Italy for a week in July so maybe I'll see you, not sure how close we'll be to Tuscany. Our Italian connection is Neapolitan

**Frozzy** · June 5, 2006, 05:10

Murray Walker quotes

* "Anything can happen in Grand Prix racing, and it usually does"

* "The car in front is absolutely unique – except for the one behind it, which is identical"

* "He's obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can't see it"

* "With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go"

* "Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough ?"

* "I can't imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem"

* "He is shedding buckets of adrenalin in that car"

* "It's raining and the track is wet"

* "And there's just a few more corners for Nigel Mansell to go to win the Canadian Grand Prix...and...he's going rather slow....HE'S STOPPING HE'S STOPPING!"

* "And this is the third placed car about to lap the second placed car..."

* "What's that? There's a BODY on the track!!!"
o James Hunt responded "Um, I think that that is a piece of BODY-WORK, from someone's car."

* "There's a fiery glow coming from the back of that Ferrari"
o James Hunt responded "No, Murray, that's his rear safety light".

* "And there's a 600 foot drop on my left..AND we're doing 120 mph... AND we're approaching a hairpin...OH MY GOD we're going to die..."

* "How did you get that nasty bump on your head Nigel?" [Nigel leans forward to show the camera as Murray pokes it with his finger !] Nigel: "OWCH!!"
o During a post race interview with Mansell after the Austrian GP in 1987.

* Murray, commentating on rallycross from Lydden, describes how a BMW driver has cut holes in his windscreen so that his visibility is improved in all the muck... as he is doing so, the car crashes heavily into an earth bank...

* From the Spanish GP 1995: "and Eddie Jordan is in fifth place"... (actually Eddie Irvine in one of his compatriot Eddie Jordan's cars).

* "...and he's lost both right front tyres" (which may have been accurate back in the days of the Tyrrell P34, but it was from 1995!)

* "...Cruel luck for Alesi, second on the grid. That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year..."

* "Ah! Now here's Senna in the pits (for the black flag). No point in saying I wish I could lip read: I can't even see his lips! There's Ron Dennis bending over at the right. This is A-! Out gets Senna! For whatever reason and I just hope we can get a message about this. I hope we can get a message. Ayrton Senna with, with rage and impotent fury etched in every line of his body, reluctantly drags himself out of the McLaren." (In reality Senna calmly stepped out of the car and walked away.)

* "Well let's, uh, lugsh, luxurrriate in a little hypothesis and try to work out what, if anything, is wrong with Alain Prost." (Prost was being caught by Berger late in the race.) "Has he got tire problems? Very unlikely. Is Prost having fuel trouble? Well, who knows? I think it's a bit unlikely. Is Prost having gearbox trouble? I can't tell you. And since P, uh, Prost is unlikely to come on the radio and let me know you'll have to guess along with me."

* "ANNDD! We have a, uh, I - (laughing) - I, uh, I'm S- (still laughing). I have to eat humble pie again, for all the people out there. Uh, we have a lap scorrring problem and, uh, I have to rather lamely tell you that, uh, it's still Gerhard Berger in 2nd place. It's Berger in 3rd position. In four- in- in-. Um, Boutsen in 3rd position..."

* "That's 55 laps completed by both Prost and Berger and and and and and the expeeerrrienced Alain Prost is really responding."

* "And there's the man in the green flag!"

* "The Jordan factory is at the factory gates"

* "...and there's no damage to the car.....except to the car itself."

* "The beak of Ayrton Senna's chicken is pulling ahead"

* 'and I interrupt myself to bring you this....'

* "Unless I'm very much mistaken... and YES I AM very much mistaken!"

* "This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines, and not just up, but down as well."

* "Only a few more laps to go and then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is."

* "This has been a great season for Nelson Piquet, as he is now known, and always has been"

* "And the first five places are filled by five different cars."

* "...the lead is now 6.9 seconds. In fact it's just under 7 seconds"

* "Tambay's hopes , which were nil before, are absolutely zero now."

* "You can't see a digital clock because there isn't one."

* "...and Blundell is doing very well in sixth position...in fact he's lapping 2.5 seconds faster than Blundell who is in fifth position"

* "We're watching the Finnish Driver who is third, but he won't for very much llllong...oh yeah, he might be actually"

* "And an enormous gap building before Mika Hakkinen goes through in third position...when I say enormous it's 1.5 seconds"

* "Schumacher is still the fastest man on the track, not only by virtue of the fact that he leads the Australian Grand Prix, but he also holds the fastest lap"

* "Eddie Irvine with smoke pouring up from the eng...I suspect something's locked up and he's out of the race"

* "And Alesi spins there...spins out of the race, surely... "Yes!...NO! Alesi manages to keep the engine, does not stall, but of course he will have lost the place I think. No! he's kept the place"

* "Yes, the beauty of this race is that it is totally unpredictable"

* "Michael Schumacher leading Damon Hill by four tenths of a second or so, because it's moving...[cut to Hill under Schu's rear wing] AND THAT'S NOT FOUR TENTHS OF A SECOND! That's Michael Schumacher!"

* "The Italian GP at Monaco..."

* "I'm applying intelligence and observation to the situation..."

* "Schumacher's appeal for ignoring the chequered flag is next Tuesday."

* "...the enthusiastic enthusiasts..." (Italy 1994)

* "Martin's got a bald spot - he won't be pleased..." (Germany, 1994, as Brundle retires, and climbs out of the car. Murray stops talking about the broken McLaren as soon as he sees Martin's head)

* "...and Andretti is going very slowly - he must have an electrical problem of some sort... "(Andretti is touring on three wheels, having hit something solid) [PF: this reminds me of several Ferrari retirements which were described as "electrical problems". Mechanics would give the lie to this saying things like "yes, it was an electrical problem. A conrod went through the block and knocked the distributor off!"]

* "...but Here is Now and There is Damon Hill" [PF adds: nice bit of Iambic Pentameter there]

* "So now you're looking at the battle between Frentzen and Herbert for 7th place. Heinz Harald Frentzen in the Sauber Mercedes behind Johnny Herbert, behind him Johnny Herbert in his first race in the Ligier Renault..."

* "Ukyo Katayama is undoubtedly the best Formula 1 driver that grand prix racing has ever produced' [then again, there's probably people on the net who believe this...]

* "...and the Peugeot cup of misery is filled past overflowing..."

* Murray: "And there are flames coming from the back of Prost's car as he enters the swimming pool."

James: "Well, that should put them out then."

* Rallycross at Lydden Hill. "And Keith Ripp comes round Chesson's Drift, avoids the Hatter's bank..." [upon which little yellow Mini commences its ascent] "... BUT HE DOES NOT!!!!!" [Mini now 30 feet in air, lands heavily and performs six rolls before stopping] "...and BANG, BANG, OVER, OVER goes the Mini..." A quality moment.

* "Alesi is in second place and Hill is in second place..."

* "As you can see, visually, with your eyes..."

* "Andrea de Cesaris...the man who has won more Grands Prix than anyone else without actually winning one of them."

* "Oh that's the Forti, and, it looks like, err, its Roberto Moreno's car , the err Brazilian .. I was going to say the elderly Brazilian , he's only 36 but he's actually the oldest driver in the race at the present moment, though he's just retired from it!"

* "Hill, Hill ... Hill is in, he's beneath me now... and he's got slicks! It's slicks! He got a new set of slicks! this is strange" (as it was raining!)

* "....Schumacher crosses the line to start another lap, and there's nothing there!"

* "And an enormous gap now building before Mika Hakkinen goes through in third place. When I say enormous, it's one and a half seconds."

* "The Benetton handling superbly as ever. Williams have worked very very hard on this car at the beginning of the season."

* "That's not four tenths of a second. Look at it. It's Michael Schumacher."

* "And we have had 5 races so far this year, Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco!"

* "And Damon Hill is coming into the pit lane, yes it's Damon Hill coming into the Williams pit, and Damon Hill in the pit, no it's Michael Schumacher!"

* "...and now, just in case there is any CONFUSION (operative term here) this is the race order on lap 19: David Coulthard leads and has yet to stop; Hakkinen leads and has yet to stop..."

* "Nigel Mansell - the man of the race - the man of the day - the man from the Isle of Man"

* "An Achilles heel for the McLaren team this year, and it's literally the heel because it's the gearbox"

* "And now the boot is on the other Schumacher"

* "The atmosphere is so tense you could cut it with a cricket stump"

* "Alain Prost is in a commanding second place" [PF: Worthy of Nigel Roebuck at his most Prostophilic!]

* "Now the Frenchman Jacques Lafitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Lafitte."

* "I don't make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong"

* "I am inclined to go over the top and I know it. I am communicating an electric situation"

* "I like to think I come over as a slightly over-the-top enthusiast. It is a very exciting sport after all"

* [after Derek Warwick spun at Monaco ending up facing the wrong way...] "Now he must not go the wrong way round the circuit, and unless he can spin himself stationary through 360 degrees I fail to see how he can avoid doing so."

* [possibly Murray's most ecstatic moment when Mansell passed Senna to win in Hungary after starting well down the grid] "He's going for it! OH MY GOODNESS...HE'S THROOOOOOUGH!!!"

* "We're now on the 73rd lap and the next one will be the 74th." [Monaco 1992]

* "James has just nipped out to have a look at the far side of the circuit" [Actually James Hunt would leave the commentary box to smoke a joint!]

* "He's watching us from hospital with his injured knee"

* "Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh no he isn't! It's a lap record."

* [hysterical as ever] "And that's Alboreto OFF!" [long pause - somber voice] "Now Michele Alboreto did not in fact qualify for the race, so how we managed to see him go off I don't know. We'll let you know." [Even longer pause, now laughing] "Now I'm not a technician, but it appears a shot of Michele Alboreto going off in qualifying has crept into this live transmission, thank you Mr. Producer, anyway that was qualifying, this is the race..."

* [Alesi, then in a Tyrrell, was passed by Senna at Detroit, or was he...] "And Senna's going through on the inside, or is he, YES!, but now Alesi has the inside, side by side, Alesi! Wow! Great Stuff!" [PF: It was, too - one of the finest battles for years!]

* "..and Damon Hill is following Damon Hill"

* "Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th"

* "Schumacher has made his final stop three times!"

* "And he has been lapped 9th, 10th, 11th'" (This was in reference to Jacques Villeneuve, who was leading at the time, and there were only 11 cars running anyway!)

* "Nigel Mansell had a problem with the wheel-nut on his Williams, then he went on to win brilliantly for Ferrari!"

* Jacques Villeneuve is just making the last turn on the last lap. "I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that Jacques Villeneuve is going to keep the Ferrari of Michael Schumacher behind him and win his first GP..."

* "And the car upside down is a Toyota" [PF: At the time, Toyota were using the slogan "The car in front is a Toyota"; in this race, both works Toyotas took each other out…] (Was this from BTCC or GT, as Toyota didn't enter F1 till after Murray retierd). It was in A BTTC race.

* "It has all come alive in Hungary. There is the proof! Williams! Benetton! Ferrari! The Benetton is Berger and the Ferrari is Damon Hill!"

* "And Damon Hill is going under the drier part of the Monaco circuit, that's of course because it's got a roof"

* "And that just shows you how important the car is in Formula One racing"

* "I know it's an old cliche, but you can cut the atmosphere with a cricket stump"

* "And Olivier Panis justifiably wins such a well deserved Grand Prix" (in which Hill, Schumacker, Alesi, Berger and Villeneuve all came off and only 4 out of 20 drivers finished) [PF: I beg to differ. I was there, Panis drove mightily all weekend, and was extremely quick in the wet. Admittedly, the guy who most deserved to win was Frentzen, but...]

* "People ask me who's going to be the next Hill, the next Schumacher, and I keep saying to watch out for Mika Salo" (Salo crashes a few laps later)

* (Schumacher is coming out the pit lane ahead of Villeneuve) "And Schumacher overtakes Villeneuve. Oh, no he doesn't! Oh, yes he does!"

* "Stop! Stop! Look! Look! It's a Williams, and I'm guessing that's Jacques Villeneuve, I can't tell you for sure because I can't see from here. And so Villeneuve retires .... it's Hill! Damon Hill is out of the Monza Grand Prix!"

* "They're now on lap 68, which means there's one, two, three, four, five laps to go before the end of the Hungarian Grand Prix" (hey, kids, learn to count with Murray.....)

* "And he's done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures".

* "Into lap 53, the penultimate last lap but one"

* "Nigel Mansell is the last person in the race apart from the five in front of him."

* "I'm going to stop the startwatch..."

* "And Hill congratulates Schumacher. They're not bosom buddies, but they're not far off!" (Hill was actually critising Schumacher for heavy-handed driving tactics after the 1995 Belgian GP).

* "There goes Panis in the Prost. For years we knew them as Ligiers, because that is what they were called."

* "And I usually say that if anything is going to go wrong with the car, it has done by now, but I'm not going to say that about Jacques Villeneuve.... Oh, I already have". (Brazil 1997)

* "And Michael Schumacher is in the pits!" (he was out by then,although he was probably in the garage or somthing.)

* "Rally points scoring is 20 for the fastest, 18 for the second fastest, right down to 6 points for the slowest fastest."

* Murray: There's a car coming into the pits now, they're so unreliable with all those electronics on board.

James: Actually, Murray, one of his wheels has just fallen off!

* "And this is Ralf Schumacher the youngest driver in F1 at only 21 years old, and of course he is the son of twice world champion Michael!" (PF: Any rumours that Gina Maria Schumacher already has an F3000 drive are entirely false, of course!)

* Monza 96. Remember those stupid tyre stacks on the kerbs which got scattered around the track on the first lap? Camera cuts to single tyre in the middle of the track. Murray:" And look at that tyre! Someone had better go and get that quickly. (As if on cue, a marshall runs out and grabs it) WELL DONE LAD!!!!!"

* "Heinz-Harald Frentzen. The man with all the luck, and it's all bad." (Qualifying Imola 97)

* Murray: Eddie Irvine is in the pit lane.

Camera flashes to an empty Ferrari pit with mechanics milling about. Martin: "I think he ... ahh ... didn't come in." A little later when it was obvious (to Murray) that Eddie didn't come in. "We all make mistakes, and I certainly made a whopper there."

* Near the end. "He (Jackie Stewart) will not produce a winner, but if he can produce second, it will be the next best thing."

* "...and if you look back 4 seconds...no, 31 seconds...!" (Murray Walker invents Time Travel, Imola, 27th. April 1997)

* "And Panis is almost literally laughing his head off in that car."

* "If I was Michael Schumacher.... which of course I am not..."

* "And the track temperature has in fact risen in degrees!"

* "Well he's world champion, and we only get one of those a year."

* "And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race"

* "I should imagine that the conditions in the cockpit are unimaginable!"

* "Well, that is amazing, but I fear, absolutely... predictable!"

* "And as the race starts... I regret that we must leave Brands Hatch, join us again at 4.45!"

* "Three lights... four lights... five laps... (laughs) pause! Go, Go, Go!"

* "As an Englishman, I have my fingers crossed for Eddie Irvine in the Jaguar." (Irvine comes from Northern Ireland)

* "Michael Schumacher is scything his way through the field... (Schumacher crashes) OOHHHHH! Schumacher out of the race!" (Canada 1999)

* "And this will be Williams' first win, since last time a Williams won!"

* "Jenson Button, in the top ten, is in eleventh position..."

* (Jarno Trulli was on the screen, but just as Murray opened his mouth, it cut to his Jordan team-mate Heinz-Harald Frentzen)

Murray: Jarno Trulli... there's a man who is yet to show his potential this year.

Martin: So that's Trulli wearing Frentzen's crash helmet, Murray?

* "There are actually seven previous winners of the Monaco Grand Prix, starting in tomorrow's race, and four of them are Michael Schumacher... there he is now!"

* "Are they on a one-stopper, are they on a two-stopper? And when I say who... er, they... er.. who do I mean? Well, I don't know..."

* "'Will it rain?', said Jim Rosenthal. Well Murray Walker says 'Yes it will'... but then maybe it won't!"

* "Now, if Alesi has run out of fuel - and I'm going to use an Anglo-Saxon expression here - the Benetton mechanics are looking AB-SO-LUTE-LY FUUUURRRIOUS!" (Strange thing for old Anglo-Saxons to say...)

* "Oh Jean. O-o-h Jean. You have got a MAJOR problem sunshine when you get back to the pits"

* "Damon Hill, there he is, he in... er, leading the Belgian Grand Prix, for the first time in a Jordan! He's leading the race, for the first time, since he led the Hungarian Grand Prix (of 1997) in an Arrows... apart from his earlier lead here, of course!" (It was actually the second time Damon had taken the lead after Michael Schumacher crashed out. You could just see that coming...)

* "Now, for real spectacular driving... watch this!" (Car flips over)

(The next four are from the video game Formula One 2002, where Murray did some voice-overs for the Arcade mode)

* "He's won it! And there was no question of him winning it! Except from his competitors!"

* "And he's gone off the track, into the kitty litter!"

* "I think those two may have touched just then!" (this is always played when contact is made, even if you've just run into the back of someone very hard at full speed!)

* "There's the flag, there's the winner, and there's the rest of them!"

**SpencerH** · June 5, 2006, 10:10

Murray Walker and James Hunt. It brings a tear to my eye. Funny! Holy **** funny!

**Alexander's Horse** · June 6, 2006, 01:55

why do we listen to them....

Announcement

Rugby Union Super 14 Quotes of the year

Rugby Union Super 14 Quotes of the year

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