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  • The Magic of the Internet Prism

    The Magic of the Internet Prism

    Today on SomethingAwful


    Internet Expert


    Real Life: A person with a hobby and intellectual low self-esteem.
    The Internet: A person with unparalleled knowledge and absolute mastery of a given subject. The Internet Expert usually displays this quasi-knowledge in one of two ways, depending upon his setting. Among his Internet Expert peers he will engage in heated shouting matches and long arguments over minutiae. Among non-Internet Experts the Internet Expert will gloat about his superior knowledge and remark upon the astounding ignorance of the plebeians with whom he is forced to share the Internet.

    Habitat: Largely congregates in specialty newsgroups or on specialty forums, but will usually have a side "general" habitat where he can impress others with his incredible knowledge. Has written or edited a Wikipedia article, probably incorrectly.
    Defining Quote: "Heh, you guys think everything is an assault rifle. News flash: just because it looks like an AK-47 doesn't mean it's an AK-47."
    Mortal Enemy: The mortal enemy of an Internet Expert is always another Internet Expert. That said, an Internet Expert can be dealt a crushing blow by a non-expert who manages to factually contradict their argument or information. This will often send an Internet Expert careening towards a dramatic implosion.
    bleh

  • #2
    the eariler ones were better and in greater depth.

    Comment


    • #3
      Still, it's pretty good:

      Internet Gadfly

      Real Life: Internet Gadfly shares a heritage with Internet Badass, but within Internet Gadfly, beneath a lot of insecurity, beats the heart of an arrogant *****. He is the sort of person who gets picked on, but gets through it by convincing himself that his intellect makes him superior to his tormentors. At some point this blurs until he is convinced that he is superior to nearly everyone.

      The Internet: The Internet Gadfly is easily mistaken for a troll, but is actually far more pathetic and common than the troll. Whereas a troll is an artificial construct, the Internet Gadfly is desperate to invest himself emotionally in his attempts at disruption. The Internet belongs to him and how DARE you do something of which he does not approve. The Internet Gadfly will often initially seem benign, but he will soon attach himself to the power structure somewhere - on a forum, on IRC or even on Usenet - and then things will go horribly wrong. Internet Gadfly will begin griping constantly and pushing boundaries. He will eventually attempt to foment rebellion and, failing this, retreat to a sort of sub-community that exists solely to harass the community that exiled him. Fortunately, Internet Gadfly will find many outcast comrades to take up the cause with him.

      Habitat: Anywhere he roams. The Internet Gadfly generally seeks out habitats that would seem appropriate for his interests and intellectual level, but Internet Gadflies can exist on a forum for teenage runaways or a forum for physics professors.

      Defining Quote: "When you fail, and trust me, you will, I will be there waiting and laughing."

      Mortal Enemy: Internet Gadfly's mortal enemies are those in charge of whichever community he has chosen to inhabit and their "mindless herd" of supporters.
      "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
      "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
      "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

      Comment


      • #4
        Do you have someone in mind? :;
        Originally posted by Spiffor
        Still, it's pretty good:

        Internet Gadfly

        Real Life: Internet Gadfly shares a heritage with Internet Badass, but within Internet Gadfly, beneath a lot of insecurity, beats the heart of an arrogant *****. He is the sort of person who gets picked on, but gets through it by convincing himself that his intellect makes him superior to his tormentors. At some point this blurs until he is convinced that he is superior to nearly everyone.

        The Internet: The Internet Gadfly is easily mistaken for a troll, but is actually far more pathetic and common than the troll. Whereas a troll is an artificial construct, the Internet Gadfly is desperate to invest himself emotionally in his attempts at disruption. The Internet belongs to him and how DARE you do something of which he does not approve. The Internet Gadfly will often initially seem benign, but he will soon attach himself to the power structure somewhere - on a forum, on IRC or even on Usenet - and then things will go horribly wrong. Internet Gadfly will begin griping constantly and pushing boundaries. He will eventually attempt to foment rebellion and, failing this, retreat to a sort of sub-community that exists solely to harass the community that exiled him. Fortunately, Internet Gadfly will find many outcast comrades to take up the cause with him.

        Habitat: Anywhere he roams. The Internet Gadfly generally seeks out habitats that would seem appropriate for his interests and intellectual level, but Internet Gadflies can exist on a forum for teenage runaways or a forum for physics professors.

        Defining Quote: "When you fail, and trust me, you will, I will be there waiting and laughing."

        Mortal Enemy: Internet Gadfly's mortal enemies are those in charge of whichever community he has chosen to inhabit and their "mindless herd" of supporters.
        bleh

        Comment


        • #5
          KH is the internet gadfly
          "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
          'I'm fairly certain that a ban on me punching you in the face is not a "right" worth respecting." - loinburger

          Comment


          • #6
            a poster whose name starts with A?

            Comment


            • #7


              Originally posted by Dis
              a poster whose name starts with A?
              bleh

              Comment


              • #8
                agasherthon
                "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
                'I'm fairly certain that a ban on me punching you in the face is not a "right" worth respecting." - loinburger

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by MRT144
                  KH is the internet gadfly
                  Pffft.

                  I freely admit my arrogance.

                  And the last time I was picked on was ~15 years ago.

                  12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                  Stadtluft Macht Frei
                  Killing it is the new killing it
                  Ultima Ratio Regum

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Oh, and I'm just as arrogant in real life, by the way.

                    I don't need an internet prism to make me so...
                    12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                    Stadtluft Macht Frei
                    Killing it is the new killing it
                    Ultima Ratio Regum

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      so when can you come to seattle for a boxing match?
                      "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
                      'I'm fairly certain that a ban on me punching you in the face is not a "right" worth respecting." - loinburger

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Come to Baltimore, son.

                        I don't like fighting because of the adrenaline comedown afterward, but if you really wanted to scrap I'd give you satisfaction

                        12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                        Stadtluft Macht Frei
                        Killing it is the new killing it
                        Ultima Ratio Regum

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          maybe we can meet in chicago? I'll be honest, i havent fought anyone in years, and I don't know if I'm even in good enough shape, but it'd be fun none the less, right?
                          "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
                          'I'm fairly certain that a ban on me punching you in the face is not a "right" worth respecting." - loinburger

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Not really. I told you, I hate fighting.

                            I get into the fight and feel like I want to rip the other person's head off, then I sit down and shake for a half hour when it's over.
                            12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                            Stadtluft Macht Frei
                            Killing it is the new killing it
                            Ultima Ratio Regum

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              thats why it helps to have a few drinks in you. or to get knocked out.
                              "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
                              'I'm fairly certain that a ban on me punching you in the face is not a "right" worth respecting." - loinburger

                              Comment

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