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Keith Richards Released From Hospital

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  • #1

    Keith Richards Released From Hospital

    Stones guitarist apparently okay after mysterious head injury.


    Keith Richards has been released from a New Zealand hospital after being treated for a mild concussion that forced him and wife Patti Hansen to cut short their vacation in Fiji.

    Conflicting reports over the cause of the concussion claim that the Rolling Stones guitarist was either hurt while Jet Skiing, or that he fell out of a palm tree. For some reason, we're more inclined to believe the palm tree story.

    Keef was flown to Ascot Hospital in Auckland, New Zealand on Saturday following the accident, and remained there under observation until he was discharged today (May 2nd). Fans gathered outside the hospital, apparently hoping for a glimpse of the aging rocker, but all they got to see was his wife carrying in clothes and a security guard carrying in three guitar cases.

    A Stones spokeswoman confirmed that Richards was being treated at the hospital, but did not elaborate on exactly how he was injured. In other words, the whole palm tree thing could be completely made up, even though it's now been reported by every news outlet on the planet.

    The Stones' Bigger Bang tour begins its European leg on May 27 in Barcelona. Presumably Keith will be back in fine form in time for the show.

    And this was before accident.
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead
    Tags: None
  • #2
    He will never die.
    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

    Comment

    • #3
      Doctors found that Richards had been dead for 5 year. He was just faking 'being alive'.
      “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
      - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

      Comment

      • #4
        Robots cannot die.

        Comment

        • #5
          I hope he gets cremated when he croaks. Try putting that one out.
          What?

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Keith Richards Released From Hospital

            I call for an immediate investigation. Somebody must be out of their minds.

            Comment

            • #7
              Originally posted by Richelieu
              I hope he gets cremated when he croaks. Try putting that one out.
              That would be some party, the whole earth stoned from inhaling his fumes...
              Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing?
              Then why call him God? - Epicurus

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              • #8
                Fell out of a palm tree. I can believe that easily.
                Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

                Comment

                • #9
                  Hope he didn't land on his nuts.
                  "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
                  "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Uh oh. An update.

                    What was first diagnosed as a concussion is instead turning out to be a small brain hemorrhage for Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards. He's undergoing surgery this week to have it drained .
                    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      He kind of blows that whole "Paul is dead" rumour out of the water. Also heard that even though Jerry Garcia may be "dead" he is definitely not "grateful".
                      "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." -- JFK Inaugural, 1961
                      "Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice." -- Barry Goldwater, 1964 GOP Nomination acceptance speech (not George W. Bush 40 years later...)
                      2004 Presidential Candidate
                      2008 Presidential Candidate (for what its worth)

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        You kind of walk your own path, don't you, Vince?
                        Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                        "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                        He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          I'm a leader.
                          "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." -- JFK Inaugural, 1961
                          "Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice." -- Barry Goldwater, 1964 GOP Nomination acceptance speech (not George W. Bush 40 years later...)
                          2004 Presidential Candidate
                          2008 Presidential Candidate (for what its worth)

                          Comment

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