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I like #6
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CSPA -
Once a friend of mine got thrown out of a bar. When he was told by the bouncer that he was obviously way too drunk because he smelled of alcohol a few feet around, he replied "a gas tank smells even when it's empty".In Soviet Russia, Fake borises YOU.Comment
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I was once thrown out of a bar for allegedling sleeping. I told the bouncer that if I was asleep I wouldn't be resisting.Why can't you be a non-conformist just like everybody else?
It's no good (from an evolutionary point of view) to have the physique of Tarzan if you have the sex drive of a philosopher. -- Michael Ruse
The Nedaverse I can accept, but not the Berzaverse. There can only be so many alternate realities. -- ElokComment
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I got tossed b/c I was sleeping, and when a bouncer shook my shoulder to ask if I was ok, I threw an unconcious punch at him.
-Arriangrog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.Comment
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I enjoyed #5“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
- John 13:34-35 (NRSV)Comment
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And did you get punched back?DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.Comment
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No, just tossed. I don't get the impression that my punch was much of a punch, or that I actually hit anything. I have no memory of it, though. The first thing I remember is getting off the sidewalk in front of the bar.
I was later told that the entire bar cheered my removal, though.
Hey, I wanted to go to sleep. My buddy insisted that we go to one more bar. I told him I was all done. He didn't believe me. Showed him, I did!
-Arriangrog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.Comment
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Originally posted by Arrian
No, just tossed. I don't get the impression that my punch was much of a punch, or that I actually hit anything. I have no memory of it, though. The first thing I remember is getting off the sidewalk in front of the bar.
I was later told that the entire bar cheered my removal, though.
Hey, I wanted to go to sleep. My buddy insisted that we go to one more bar. I told him I was all done. He didn't believe me. Showed him, I did!
-Arrian
says the guy picking himself up off the sidewalk with hurt ass.
You sure showed him
When you find yourself arguing with an idiot, you might want to rethink who the idiot really is.
"It can't rain all the time"-Eric Draven
Being dyslexic is hard work. I don't even try anymore.Comment
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And he was pissed at me 'cause he was hitting on some girl in the bar.
Hey, like I said, I warned him!
I am one of those people whose reaction to extreme drunkness is shutdown. My body just says "ok, enough, you're done" and passes out. I knew it was coming and I said so. I was ignored.
-Arrian
p.s. I wasn't hurt. And hey, this same friend got me punched out in a different incident because he was cut off at a bar and called the bartendress a ****ing b*tch. So we're more than even.grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.Comment
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ok i have a good one that i heard from a woman with her baby at the hospital.
I cant tell you who the babys father is cause he will beat me.
Do you know where he is now?
Yes he is outside waiting in the car with my other kids.When you find yourself arguing with an idiot, you might want to rethink who the idiot really is.
"It can't rain all the time"-Eric Draven
Being dyslexic is hard work. I don't even try anymore.Comment
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