I was just so DARN PROUD!!

[Aabraxan]

I'm sure that there have been plenty of "kids say the darndest things" threads here over the years, but I've gotta tell this one.

My wife and I have a 2 1/2 year-old daughter. About a month ago, I was playing some SMAC, busily pursuing my wars with Lal and Morgan. Mrs. GameGeek and Little Miss GameGeek were watching tv or something. Anyway, Little Miss wanders in and asks, "Whatcha doin', Daddy?" I sat there for a moment, trying to figure out just how to explain it all to a 2 1/2 year-old. I know that "I've just launched a needlejet offensive to keep Lal's bases busy building garrison units so as to avoid drone riots while I build transports that can move my chaos rovers into position to launch a land invasion," is a bit much for a child her age. So I just said "I'm conquering the planet." For an instant, she looked disappointed. Then she looked up at me and said, "I wanna conquer da planet." I was so DARN PROUD! She crawled up in my lap and proceeded to "help Daddy conquer da planet." She kept wanting me to attack "the castle" (Peacekeeper HQ).

At any rate, last week, while I was at work, Mrs. GameGeek was emailing on our computer and in walked Little Miss, who asked Mrs. GG "whatcha doin', Mommy?" Mrs. GG told her she was emailing. And sure enough, Little Miss replied, "I wanna conquer da planet." Again, I was so DARN PROUD!

Mrs. GG tells me that I'm corrupting Little Miss. I tell her that I'm working on developing long-range thinking and complex problem solving skills in our daughter.

[TCO]

Just one more turn, Mom!

[Wiglaf]

I could read when I was three

[Jon Miller]

I got kicked out of school when I was 5 .

Jon Miller

[Pekka]

When I was 3 or 4, I punched a handicap kid in the face.

This kid was really annoying, he was in a wheelchair and he used to bite other kids. I mean he always got into fighting because he would take the toys others were playing with I not give them back. Then he used to shout and scream like a girl for no apparent reason. Then you'd go and get the toys and he'd bite you and pull your hair. Really annoying.

So one time when he was not only pulling my hard and drooling on me, I punched him in the face with a closed fist. Boy did the nanny come fast and shout me down. As if it was my fault the kid used to abuse everyone. It was like 'He is in the wheelchair, he is special!'.

It was this day that I realized, no, he's not special. he's an idiot, no excuses for that. I was the special one, because I had the guts to punch him in the face and he was in a wheelchair too.

edit: pulling my HAIR hard

[TCO]

The SC was born! Kill the PC morons.

Ummm...give me some sauna stories...

[Pekka]

sauna stories? There are no 'sauna stories'.. I mean.. sauna is sauna. You do by the laws of sauna.

Though once we had this extra rule, that if you'd fart, everyone else would slap you hard. So in fact I farted only to blame my friend next to me, who was in the middle of everyone, so we beat him down right there and then with slapping. He was literally left with markings of hands and fingers. Not just some red spots, hand marks. Oh did we laugh hard during and after..

But that's the rule man, if you fart, you'll get a beat down. I'll chase ya down and slap. WHO LET THE DOGS OUT WOOH WOOH!

[BlackCat]

Originally posted by TCO
Ummm...give me some sauna stories...

Nononono not that - we don't wan't to know what really happens in finnish saunas.

[VetLegion]

So I just said "I'm conquering the planet." For an instant, she looked disappointed. Then she looked up at me and said, "I wanna conquer da planet." I was so DARN PROUD!

[TCO]

I had a Finnish MBA teacher and we had MBA in a little place in the Alps (secret for our company). He was very ardent about the sauna.

[TCO]

BTW, he became chancellor of INSEAD. And I am now an honorary Finnish citizen. Have a certrificate from him. One of you all used to give me credit for that. Who is the biggest Finn. Haven't seen him in a while. but he would faithfully count me as a Finn when doing site census...

[Colonâ„¢]

I was able to count into the hundreds during kindergarten. I also stole toys.

[TCO]

I did not speak a word until age 3. My grandfather not until age 4.

[Pekka]

We also all had a crush on this one girl there.. we used to be peeping toms when she was outside alone, waiting for her parents to pick her up so she always was in the swing.. we spied on her. She had a leopard backbag too.. and leopards are awesome.

One day I almost choked on a fish bone. THey are not called bones but you know the little needle things. Yes.. then one day this kid was eating banana skins and I told him he was insane. He was like no man, I'm brave. I was like no, you're stupid. The same kid once threatened to eat me. Literally eat me. I was a bit intimitated because it was the fat kid too. I was afraid that my punch to the stomach would only make him more horny. Fortunately the nanny came in and said to him that you can't eat Pekka. It's just not something you can or should even try to do.

Also one day, I dared this girl to kiss this guy. So I was pimping at a very young age. Then the girl kissed the guy and I was laughing because the guy started crying. What a wuss, getting some hot action and he starts to cry??? No way man.. he's obviously a gay homosexual.

One day, when the nannies called everyone back inside from yard play, one kid asked me to 'play spy'. I didn't know what it meant, but he taught me. We hid behind this wall so the nanny wouldn't see us. She counted everyone and two were missing!! Of course! Now I got the idea of this game.. they counted everyone again and noticed it was me and this other kid missing. THey hollered for us few times, and THEN they started to totally panic This is when we started having fun. Eventually they found us and told us it wasn't funny. We though it was, even to this day.

But I think the day that made me was when I was in first or second grade, I think it was second grade. This kid from third grade started teasing me, we were playing king of the hill so I ran as hard as I could and pushed him down of the hill to the gutter. His clothes were all crappy and muddy and he was like no way dude, and he attacked me. I didn't want to fight because he was older but about the same size and everyone there was from my grade, not his grade, so they were cheering for me to kick his ass and they chanted 'Bones and Blood, Bones and Blood'. I'm not making this **** up! That was the chant when yard fight happened

So I had to beat him because I had all the support and I just couldn't escape now could I? It was a tight match, mostly wrestling. When the teacher saw us wrestling, he came running towards us so I knew it was now or never, make or break so I was able to get on top of him and put sand on his face and rub it good. He started crying, I won, I got penalized. Well not really, I just had to endure the speech one teacher gave to me because we made up with the other kid who fought me so it was like ok we don't tel lyour parents because you made up on your own and are friends again.

But then, few of my classmates ran to the hallway and started cheering 'Pekka! Pekka! Pekka!'. I felt the urge to start fighting again, in front of the teacher, IN FRONT OF THE SPEECH!!.. I wanted to punch to the face of my opponent and surprise him with my swift and surprising tactics.. you know he wouldn't have known where it came from at all. But I was able to .. just barely, I was able to hold my horses and let it go. But that's only because I won the first fight.

In fact, I was undefeated in school as well in my early years. No one ever decisively beat me down.

[Pekka]

It was also pretty insane if you think about it.. there could be up to 50 kids or more, forming a circle around the two opponents, chating 'bones and blood' in frenzy, clapping and cheering. You had to fight if you got into that situation. It was like a dog fight situation and you were dropped in the pit. No one could save you. You had to suck it up, and do battle. That was pretty intimidating stuff.

Rule number one is that you don't cry. What ever happens, you can't cry because if you do, you lose and everyone will make fun of you for weeks. You are known as the guy who cried.

Rule number two, you fight until the teacher(s) come and separate you. There is no quitting before. Unless the other one starts to cry. Then you can stop, raise your hands as the victor and you are the champion for the next few weeks, the hero and the idol.

Rule number three, if you start talking smack in the audience with another member of the audience and you are from different classes, you have to fight next. If someone talks smack to you, you have to answer.

Rule number four, starting a fight is an official matter. If you are challenged, you have to answer. It happens by 'yeah we'll fight' and then you proudly state the place and the time. It should be after school, somewhere between school and home, so that there are no teachers. This is the test of your manhood truly. The word will spread that there will be a fight and everyone will be there. YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP! And you have to fight. They came to see a fight, not two people to make up. You can and you must make up after this fight. No secondary fightings. It doesn't matter if you lose as long as you don't cry. If you can make the other guy bleed, you're a superhero.

Ohh the good old days.. it was so simple then.