Presto: You're the richest person in the world

[MrFun]

presto -- you have just become the richest person in the world








presto -- I have stolen all of your money

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by Urban Ranger
That's not a bad idea, but providing cheap eduction to the poor kids is the only way out for them. Otherwise they'll just be stuck in the same deadend jobs as their parents.

Point well taken. Okay, how about this?

Along with providing the employees with a living wage , I'd attach a free school (pre-school thru high school) for their kids. Plus, throw in some college scholarships for the best and brightest.

Ooooh, it's nice to be the richest person in the world.

[Lancer]

Somebody somewhere is providing free tubal ligation (sp) to any Philipine woman that wants it. It's organized through the Phil government so likely it's a grant from a foriegn government. Catholic church doesn't like it... My sister in law got one which is a relief to Dolores and I as we already support 4 of hers.

Seems like a good thing for a super rich person to support.

[Lancer]

I posted to this thread and it didn't bump so I'm trying again.

[Vince278]

Harem.

[Provost Harrison]

Originally posted by Agathon
See the "Hetero... but up to what price" thread.

I'd pay for Apolytoners to be cornholed by gay hookers just so I could call them names and troll them about it on the forum.

From that thread, I would have many takers.

I suspect it would be a whole lot cheaper than they claim, too

[Straybow]

Presto: You're the richest person in the world

Originally posted by Zkribbler
What do you spend your money, say on...

(a) conspicuous consumption
(b) financial investments
(c) humanitarian gestures
(d) excentricities

Hmmm, Zkrib's sky yacht idea is cool.

As is Rufus' "Masterpiece Theater" idea.

But JohnT, your $99G for longevity research will quickly become a money pit of scams and fraud.

@ Japher

(a) A private island isn't truly conspicuous because it's private.

(b) ~$50G, and I gotta spend my time investing it? It better already be invested. Carrying around that much cash is inconvenient. Shift a few billion into things that interest me, but I'm really too detached to talk about it.

(c) Plenty of good charities to support, but most wouldn't be able to handle more than a few tens of millions.

(d) Me? Not eccentric in the least. Just butter the dang toast all the way to the crust, dammit!

[Dis]

I'd blow it all on women.

really no change from my normal life.

[Dinner]

Invest enough to keep me well off for the rest of my life and the rest I use for humanitarian purposes in my own neighborhood. New parks, new schools, a couple of the world's tallest buildings, and some mass transit.

[Imran Siddiqui]

a) What plenty of eccentric billionaires buy: a controlling stake in a professional sports team. Then make a new stadium, whose's outside is based on the Roman Colosseum

Perhaps also wave some money at Major League Soccer, and put an MLS team in Atlanta, playing in said Roman Colosseum.

b) Some in Indian tech companies, some in South American development if the FTAA goes through.

c) Cancer research and 3rd World development

d) Various rooms in the mansion based entirely on one precious metal/gem/rock. So a 'Gold Room', 'Platinum room', 'Marble Room'.

[Dis]

why I didn't think of that.

I'd buy the San Diego Chargers. And turn them into a superbowl team.

I wouldn't be like Snyder who thinks he's some fantasy football coach. . I'd hire the best GM and coach to get the job done, and woulnd't interfere.

ahh who am I kidding. I'd interfere with the team like hell. I'd be with the players when they are partying with strippers and whores.

I'd be the worst owner ever, and enjoy it.

[Imran Siddiqui]

I'd be the worst owner ever, and enjoy it.

I'd be your Kato Kalin if you were the richest guy

[Lonestar]

An Army of Space Marines, with which to crush my enemies.


And, for a more realistic choice:

(1) Build a house in the Texas Hill country, on an old Pecan orchard. Get a house in town. Work at a comic book store (or start one)
(2) Go back to college and finish my degrees. Set up several mutual funds with which to invest in a large variety of companies/ideas...invest in private space travel start ups.
(3) The BSA is getting some money. So's Canine Companions. Also, any number of Historical preservation societies.
(4) Build the Superconducting Super Collider(with suitable modifications to reflect modern tech) in Texas. My House in the Hill country is going to be basically a good-looking survival bunker, in the event of Nuclear War/Asteroid Strike/Zombie Invasion.

[Japher]

a monkey... for sure, a monkey

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I’d buy you a house (I’d buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I’d buy you furniture for your house (maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I’d buy you a K-Car (a nice reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars, I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars I’d build a tree-fort in our yard
If I had a million dollars you could help, it wouldn’t be that hard
If I had a million dollars maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere.
“You know, we could just go up there and hang out.”
“Like open the fridge and stuff, and there’d all be foods laid out for us like little pre-wrapped sausages and things. They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon.”
“Well can you blame them?”
“Yeah.”

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I’d buy you a fur a coat (but not a real fur coat, that’s cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I’d buy you an exotic pet (yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I’d buy you John Merrick’s remains (all them crazy elephant bones)
And if I had a million dollars I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars we wouldn’t have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars we’d take a limousine ’cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars we wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner
“But we would eat Kraft dinner.”
“Of course we would, we’d just eat more.”
“And buy really expensive ketchups with it.”
“That’s right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups.”

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Wel I’d buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress that’s cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I’d buy you some art (A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I’d buy you a monkey (haven’t you always wanted a monkey?!)
And if I had a million dollars I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars; if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars; if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars… I’d be rich!

[duke o' york]

I've always wanted a monkey butler!