Have you ever been sexually harrassed?

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by C0ckney
the ladies at my work are always complaining about sexual harrasment...there's not enough of it

Oinkfest! Oinkfest!! Oinkfest!!!

[Japher]

that's right MrFun!

you and your fairy powder!

you own a lot of queers an apology

[Grandpa Troll]

I am an Area Manager, have 40+ people who report to me and deal with on an equal footing with male and female counterparts and contractors. There is a female Q C aboard Camp Lejeune who calls everyone honey,babe,sugar, sweetie, love,ect. Now I am 46, I dont take this to heart nor do i consider it a compliment, it is, IMHO, more of a lack of vocabulary on her part. However, if it were me saying to a female these titles, I am pretty sure I would be considered to be harrassing them sexually by setting a tone in the workplace.

Dual standards

I never got it when a woman, very pretty, wears provocative clothing and is allowed to but let a man hit on her and it could be construed as sexual harrassment,I dont think a person has any right to harrass anyone, but people should not themselves in a position to be compromised/

Gramps

[Jon Miller]

Originally posted by MrFun
I was sexually harrassed once in my life -- when I was a junior in high school, a football player -- a senior student -- slapped my ass in the hall and several other people happened to have seen the embarrassing incident.

I formally reported it and he got reprimanded and had to apologize to me.

only once?

JM

[Dis]

Originally posted by Grandpa Troll
I am an Area Manager, have 40+ people who report to me and deal with on an equal footing with male and female counterparts and contractors. There is a female Q C aboard Camp Lejeune who calls everyone honey,babe,sugar, sweetie, love,ect. Now I am 46, I dont take this to heart nor do i consider it a compliment, it is, IMHO, more of a lack of vocabulary on her part. However, if it were me saying to a female these titles, I am pretty sure I would be considered to be harrassing them sexually by setting a tone in the workplace.

Dual standards

I never got it when a woman, very pretty, wears provocative clothing and is allowed to but let a man hit on her and it could be construed as sexual harrassment,I dont think a person has any right to harrass anyone, but people should not themselves in a position to be compromised/

Gramps

I don't think calling someone babe, or whatever is sexually harrassment. If it is, then I have to change my answer.

As I call many females at my job babe , or baby. But they started it! . As I mentioned in another thread back. it's the same with hugs. I have never hugged a woman at work before this job. But women at my job hug me, so I hug back. And I never felt comfortable calling women babe at other places I worked for (certainly not in the Navy! ), but the company I work for is different. And everyone calls each other these cutsie names. It took a while for me to get used to calling women these things. I'm usually so shy and by the book. But I am trying to be more friendly.

P.S. sorry again for the personal info, but I really felt I couldn't respond to the post in question without relating it (I won't mention my work again in this thread). If women can get away with saying these things, then we can.

[Zkribbler]

Whether it's sexual harassment depends on how is justifiably perceived. A lot of men use "baby" as a put down (see Dustin Hoffman's tirade in "Tootsie"), but the use of baby in your office is obviously just seen as a nickname.

I once called California State Senator Shiela Kuehl a "California chick." It was a dangerous thing to do because she could have legitimately ripped my head off. But she understood where I was coming from and just laughed. --But since then, I've always called her "Senator" just to be safe.

[Verto]

Originally posted by Jon Miller
I have been called gay a whole lot. Some just people picking on me, others actually thought/think I was/am gay. The gay picking on is probably what made me homophobic in highschool.

It was meeting gay people online that allowed me to see that I wasn't thinking about it properly. Also, when I stopped getting callled gay as part of being picked on (which included physical violence as well, I got a black eye once), that also helped I think. The main thing that helped was losing fear of gay people.

Most unreasonable dislike/hatred/anger is born out of fear (maybe most period).

I have also had girls pinch my butt and the like, but they were just teasing me. And the strippers were just trying to get money... and...

Jon Miller

I thought you WERE gay?

[OzzyKP]

Originally posted by Dis
I don't think I have ever sexually harrassed a woman. But that's probably why I'm still single. . I'm generally afraid to make any suggestive remark towards women.

Same here brother.



I actually have been sexually harrassed, and it wasn't just a pat on the butt (which might have happened too, but I didn't mind it, so I don't count it).

Back in high school two of my friends (both guys) and I drove across the state to go to Ozzfest and we spent the night at a friend/relative's house over there so we could make the drive back in the morning. The friend/relative was the ex-husband of my mom's ex-friend whose daughter was my parent's god-daughter, and was born within a month of me. So we grew up together to a degree. Sadly though she died in a car crash a year or two before this trip. But we stayed in touch with her father (not her mom though). We also stayed in touch with her best friend, Amy.

Explaining that whole relationship is confusing, I know. But Amy was over at the house the night we were just to hang out. So far so good, she's a fairly nice person, but not entirely up to Ozzy's exacting standards, so I wasn't really interested in her. It seems that feeling wasn't mutual.

The following morning I decided to grab a shower and things got ugly. I didn't think to lock the door to the bathroom, but I guess I should have (and now do if I'm not at home). In walked Amy while I was in the shower. I forget what happened, it wasn't terribly invasive, it was somewhat playful so I didn't get too upset. Perhaps I should have. But when she left she left the doors to the bathroom open so I couldn't get out and lock them. I was pretty much trapped in the shower and vulnerable. I didn't even have a towel or anything handy. (maybe she took it, I forget).

After a bit she came back and this time was more aggressive and tried to pull away the shower curtain. I covered as best I could. Then she left again (still leaving the doors open) I tried to finish up fast as I could. But she didn't go far. She came back again and tried to open the curtain again. Then she left and came back again this time with a video camera....

I think by that time I protested loud enough and serious enough to get her to leave, so I had enough time to get out of the shower and get dressed. When I went downstairs my two friends were both laughing and making jokes about it all. It seemed like they put her up to it. I was more angry now then I was when it was happening. So I got into a shouting match with one of my friends that soon developed into a fist fight.

Then I had to drive his ***** ass 4 hours home. The car was silent the whole fricken drive. I didn't talk to him for like 3 months after. Wasn't too keen on the girl either for a while. Eventually though, forgive and forget and move on. She's getting married now, and he just got out of prison. Good news all around.

But yea.... fun times..... I can understand the whole "being violated" thing.

[Dis]

The friend/relative was the ex-husband of my mom's ex-friend whose daughter was my parent's god-daughter, and was born within a month of me.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Jon Miller


only once?

JM

I didn't realize I was gay until I was 21, so the harrassment that I suffered that one time in high school was probably simply because I was an outcast.

Not sure why I was an outcast since I didn't even realize I was gay at that time.

[Dis]

how can you not know you were gay?

[Urban Ranger]

It depends on how a particular action is perceived. If a woman runs her foot up and down your leg but you enjoy every second of it, it's not harrassment

[Grandpa Troll]

Originally posted by Urban Ranger
It depends on how a particular action is perceived. If a woman runs her foot up and down your leg but you enjoy every second of it, it's not harrassment

until she goes and reports you made her in order to keep her job perform such acts,

I have seen it in records during training to help avoid/prevent these occurrences. Its ok until its not then it a mess

I love my baby-doll sweet-P of almost 21 years. if she were to pass away and I was single, I am 110% positive I would not hunt in my own backyard for this exact reason.

Gramps

[rah]

You have to be consistent.
Earlier in my carreer I used to act in front of people based on what I thought was appropriate with that person. i.e there were some girls that acted like their pig male counterparts in terms of language and behaviour. When with those I had a tendency to joke with them like I would if just with a group of men, only to discover 10 years later that one of them was offended by the behaviour but acted like they didn't to be just one of the crew. Fortunately she had a high opinion of me so would have never reported it. But if that hadn't been the case............

So just because you think you know a coworker and feel that it's ok to act in that GRAY area, think again.

Always be professional and consistent.

[Donegeal]

I get called gay all the time, after all, pat down searches have to be through to make sure I don't get stabbed or shot because I missed something.

Drunks (not all of them) in this situation who is all pissed off because he is going to jail have a knack for being aggressive. Nothing like doing a blade search (for those that don't understand this, a blade search is holding your hand like an "L" with straight fingers and thumb extended) in the crotch with a drunk who starts to spout "Hey you ****ing fagot! You wanna suck it too?!" or some such variation.

By law, I am allowed to conduct pat down searches of women, but it is extremely frowned upon (just shy of saying never do it). We just wait for a female officer to come on scene...