30 Facts about Jack Bauer

[Imran Siddiqui]

Jack Bauer is becoming the new Chuck Norris, so it was about time:

http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty

A few favorites:

Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

ANNNND:

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

[Japher]

Jack Bauer once won a spelling bee by killing the girl who correctly spelt the word "periphrastic" - FACT!

[rah]

a couple were norris retreads but there were some good ones

[Ecthy]

"If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice."

I have no clue who Nina is but this is just plain

[Q Classic]

I voted this one up:

"Jack Bauer once killed a man with skin cancer. He hates moles."

[rah]

He slept with Nina, not knowing just how evil she was.
Which made this one, one of my favorites.

[Ecthy]

"Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It makes him angry."

Funny, but also quite 80's...

[Imran Siddiqui]

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Yeah, some are Norris retreads, but there is plenty of "24" specific stuff there.

[BeBMan]

Jack Bauer is Jesus, because

Deaf people listen to Jack Bauer.

[rah]

Originally posted by Ecthy
"Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It makes him angry."

Funny, but also quite 80's...

Funny because he's been technically dead/killed twice during the previous season.

[BeBMan]

No Spoilers! S4 ist just running here!

Really

[rah]

Opps, I meant seasonS.

[Guynemer]

I like the "sounds like a fair fight" one.

I have a man-crush on Jack Bauer.

[Verto]

Jennifer Garner would own his pansy ass any day of the week.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Jennifer Garner's ass would be pwned by Jack Bauer? Yes... yes it would.