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'Excuse me, do you realise your horse is gay?'

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  • 'Excuse me, do you realise your horse is gay?'

    Finalist Arrested For Calling Police Horse 'Gay'

    By Jack Shenker

    A drunken Balliol third year spent a night in the cells and was fined £80 after insulting a police horse on Cornmarket Street. Brown left ‘The Cellar’ nightclub at around 2am on Monday morning with a group of friends. Two mounted policemen were passing the group when Brown is alleged to have called out: “Mate, you know your horse is gay, I hope you don’t have a problem with that.” The officers appeared to take offence at the comment and warned Brown not to repeat it.

    According to eyewitnesses, Brown then reassured the first officer it was not his horse he was insulting, remarking: “No, don’t worry. Your horse is fine, it’s his horse, his horse is gay.” The policemen again cautioned Brown that his language was inappropriate before walking on. However, Brown then began to follow the pair down the street, despite attempts by his friends to restrain him.

    He called out: “The horse is gay, man, what’s the problem?” “Sam was adamant his equine gaydar was accurate,” eyewitness Daniel Cooper told The Oxford Student. The officers deemed Brown’s comments to be a breach of the public order act and decided to arrest him. “It was a massive sense of humour failure on the part of the policemen. They radioed for backup and then proceeded to pursue him at a trot,” recalled Cooper.

    Brown was eventually apprehended on Ship Street after two squad cars arrived at the scene. Six policemen surrounded the student, who was handcuffed and taken to St Aldate’s Police Station, to the fury of his friends. “They read him his rights, handcuffed him, the whole lot,” said another eyewitness, former Balliol LGB Officer Matthew Williams.

    “I repeatedly pointed out that ‘gay’ was not a pejorative term, and that insulting a police animal was surely not an arrestable offence, but to no avail,” continued Williams. “There was no resistance at any stage, no voices were raised, no one was disorderly and no animals were harmed during the course of the event,” added Cooper. As Brown was judged to be under the influence of alcohol, police officers at the station refused to interview him until the morning.

    Another of Brown’s friends, Gethin Anthony, mounted a one-man all night vigil outside the station in protest: “I was expressing my dissatisfaction at their gross overreaction,” Anthony told this newspaper. Brown was eventually released just before 7am having been issued with a fine for ‘causing harassment, alarm or distress’, which must be paid within three weeks. He is now considering appealing against the fine after taking advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau.

    When questioned on the offence, Brown expressed regret at his comments. “I swear to hold back on gender preference assumptions if they allow me to meet animals in the future,” he said. Those at the scene remain surprised at the police’s decision to formally arrest Brown. Cooper stated: “We were struggling to hold back tears at the ludicrous turn of events … we returned to college utterly bemused and shocked by the constabulary’s application of resources."

    “Aside from the hilariousness of the event there’s also a serious question; isn’t it offensive to assume categorically the word ‘gay’ is insulting,” said Williams. “I kept drunkenly shouting at the police that I was offended that they assumed ‘gay’ was being used as an insult. I tried to persuade them Sam was my boyfriend but they weren’t buying it."

    A spokeswoman for the University said they could not comment on individual cases but that it was at the discretion of the Proctors whether to take disciplinary action against students who break the law. A spokesman for Thames Valley Police confirmed a 21-year-old man was arrested on Ship Street in the early hours of Monday morning, but he denied the police had overreacted. “Both the officers involved said he [Brown] was abusive and acting in a drunken manner,” the spokesman said.

    “He was warned twice but he persisted to act in a disorderly manner. “In our current stance against drunken behaviour we have a duty to take action in such instances."

    2nd Jun 2005


    http://www.oxfordstudent.com/tt2005w..._police_horse_'gay'

    Shamelessly stolen from KG at Counterglow.

    Another article mentioned he was charged for using language offensive to the officers, and to the horse.

    No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

  • #2
    Stupid drunk people deserve what happens to them
    Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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    • #3


      Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing?
      Then why call him God? - Epicurus

      Comment


      • #4
        Good thing he wasn't in Alberta...

        "Mister, you can say anything you want about me, but leave my horse alone"
        "Wait a minute..this isn''t FAUX dive, it's just a DIVE!"
        "...Mangy dog staggering about, looking vainly for a place to die."
        "sauna stories? There are no 'sauna stories'.. I mean.. sauna is sauna. You do by the laws of sauna." -P.

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        • #5


          “Aside from the hilariousness of the event there’s also a serious question; isn’t it offensive to assume categorically the word ‘gay’ is insulting,” said Williams. “I kept drunkenly shouting at the police that I was offended that they assumed ‘gay’ was being used as an insult. I tried to persuade them Sam was my boyfriend but they weren’t buying it."


          Valid point though.
          You just wasted six ... no, seven ... seconds of your life reading this sentence.

          Comment


          • #6
            “Sam was adamant his equine gaydar was accurate,” eyewitness Daniel Cooper told The Oxford Student.

            Comment


            • #7
              WTF! You're reading the OxStu? It was hilarious at the time though
              Smile
              For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
              But he would think of something

              "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

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